Just because it’s Halloween doesn’t mean you get a free pass in the career-killing costume department. Photos of you wearing any of these are pretty sure to digitally haunt you for the … Continue Reading Halloween Costumes I Would Regret
Yes, it’s Honey Caffé Latte with…PARSLEY. • Read a novel set in Tokyo…
These have got to be the most awesome gacha-gacha vending machine snags of all time! These little plastic figures depict Lady Liberty morphing into “Too-Free Goddess” and assuming unseemly poses! But forget trying to blackmail her with … Continue Reading The Statue Of Too Much Liberty
Aieeeee, when I saw this on the menu at Krispy Kreme, I knew I’d have to strap on my Try Anything Once Cojones and take one for the team! So … Continue Reading Spicy Tomato Filled Doughnuts?
Poo rules at the National Museum of Emerging Science and Innovation! Their current special exhibit tells you everything you always wanted to know about that most human and unmentionable of subjects, and … Continue Reading An Afternoon At The Poo Museum
I finally tried Burger King Japan’s most recent all-black, all-the-time burger offering, and OMG please don’t look now, but I wolfed it down in record time. It looks pretty weird (especially the … Continue Reading Yes, Even The Cheese Is Black
Yes, the famed all-female Takarazuka troupe is back on stage, mustachioed and corseted and ready to kick some Civil War butt! After mind-bendingly taking on the roles of handsome male scalawags (Oceans Eleven) … Continue Reading Frankly, My Dear, I Don’t Give A Damn (That We’re Both Female And Japanese!)
In the Solution Looking For A Problem sweepstakes, this has gotta be a contender. If your piercings are in desperate need of a roto-rootering, you can stock on up ear floss at … Continue Reading Ear Floss
This vending machine offers you a choice between Marlboros and…Marlboros. It could be a glimpse of some horrible apocalyptic future in which the only beer left on Earth is Miller Light and the only mayo is Miracle Whip, or it could be … Continue Reading I Hope You Wanted Marlboros
So, can you even believe this? If someone came to Sister Jonelle’s Confessional and admitted that they’d OKed building a honkin’ big expressway right over the Nihonbashi Bridge, I’d pretty much tell … Continue Reading Mortal Sins Of Urban Planning
From the land of snacks with tentacles and fish bone crackers comes the latest healthy food disguised as a snack: carrot and tomato ice cream! Haagen-Dazs Japan hit the subways with a “secret” poster … Continue Reading Haagen-Dazs Veggie Ice Cream?!
Where’s my medical taco card when I need it? • Read a novel set in Tokyo…
You know that depressing feeling when you spot your brand new suitcase bumping onto the baggage carousel, and after one measly trip through baggage handling hell, it looks like it’s been … Continue Reading Pre-Trashed Suitcases
Premium. Tomato. Whitening. Essence. Because if I wanted whiter skin, tomatoes are the first thing I’d think of. • Read a novel set in Tokyo…
So, yesterday I’m walking around, and suddenly I encounter a Sidewalk Whale. My theory about this little-known hazard of Ningyo-cho is that it tends to happen on Fridays, when they surface to … Continue Reading Suddenly…A Whale
If spaghetti-flavored ice on a stick isn’t the world’s worst idea for a snack, I don’t know what is. But, in an act of supreme self-sacrifice, I tried it, so … Continue Reading World’s Worst Popsicle
But what I want to know is, how do they KNOW the dragons only ate pesticide-free virgins? Is the blood harvested from organically-certified, knight-armor-free, farm-grown dragons? You can get your very own Toothpaste … Continue Reading Salty Dragonblood Toothpaste
Fembots, scantily-clad taiko drummers, battling transformers…okay, I admit the Robot Restaurant is more like Vegas on steroids than ye olde Nippon, but you’ve really gotta see this extravaganza once in … Continue Reading The Robot Restaurant
I thought I’d found the oddest product you could buy from a vending machine when I spied the one selling rubber sea slugs, but I think I’m going to have … Continue Reading The Overly Realistic Caterpillar Vending Machine
Okay, I thought the stuffed animal wizards were pretty much scraping the bottom of the vertebrate barrel when they came up with Kapybara-san a few years ago. I mean, how … Continue Reading Cuddle Up With An Adorable Slice Of Raw Fish
Where I come from, the kind of hotels that charge by the hour instead of the night are ultra-shady and tend to get raided by the cops a lot. Not … Continue Reading All About Love Hotels!
In The Land of Group Harmony, doing things by yourself is almost un-Japanese. But because Japan is also the country which offers a hot spring resort for dogs, a store … Continue Reading Forever Alone: Japan Version
In case you were wondering if there is such a thing as too much information, take a look-see at this handy chart I spotted recently, hanging outside a “Don’t Waste … Continue Reading Wait, Seriously, You Can Eat That?!
I’ve always found butterflies woefully wanting in the rushing-to-the-door-to-wecome-you-home department, and there are exactly zero memes devoted to the cuddliness of lepidoptera. So…what’s with the fake ones? In a jar?! … Continue Reading Saddest Fake Pet Toy
More than meets the eye! For hours of happy crime spree play, nothing can beat the thug rangers! Your platinum-haired chinpira will pinch Barbie’s car before she can squeal “math is … Continue Reading Street Fightin’ Yakuza Action Figures
Ladies, just because those gold lamé and leopard print Santa costumes are made for men doesn’t mean you can’t play fast and loose with the jolly old elf this Christmas season! … Continue Reading Sexy Santa Roundup!
Now you can fight cavities and have curry-fresh breath too, with this new line of Breath Palette flavored toothpaste! With thirty-one strange flavors to choose from, your teeth can sparkle … Continue Reading 31 Flavors Of…Toothpaste?
10. I bet the person on your list who has everything doesn’t have a THOUSAND DOLLAR RICE COOKER! 9. Surely you know someone whose garden wouldn’t be complete without a … Continue Reading Top Ten Only In Japan Holiday Gifts 2013
Yes, when it comes to taking license with the jolly old elf, nobody can beat Tokyu Hands! If you’d like to visit Tokyu Hands the next time you’re in Tokyo, directions … Continue Reading More Acts Of Santa Blasphemy
Purple crushed velvet, bejeweled fake fur, slashed to the navel satin shirt – somehow the Japanese version of the elusive old serial killer comes off as slightly more of a gay … Continue Reading Jack The Ripper – The Musical
If you can’t lie face down on the rug, the train station platform is the next best thing. And at least at Korakuen Station, you can pass out on a … Continue Reading Why, Japan, Why?
It’s never too early for girls to learn what a barrel of fun it is to do the laundry and ironing. Suggested for ages two and up. • Read a novel … Continue Reading It’s Never Too Early To Begin The Training, Part Deux
Luscious strawberries…succulent peaches…flaky pastry…fresh whipped cream…all topped off with…PARSLEY. Yes, the fluffy little herb that rocked the 1950s sits inexplicably atop this otherwise tasty-looking fruit tart, and the strangest thing … Continue Reading What’s Wrong With These Desserts…?
If you’re planning to shake down a few grannies or threaten some loan-shirkers with a Louisville Slugger, don’t leave the house without donning your Blood Money brand track suit! Fashioned … Continue Reading Our Lady Of Gangsta
Is it just me, or is toilet paper that smells like something you’d eat a little…um, no thanks? • Read a novel set in Tokyo
Here in Japan, even if your apartment is as small as a postage stamp, you can still invite your friends over for a rousing game of Twister. • Read a novel … Continue Reading Japanese Apartment-Sized Party Games
What does one actually DO with a Poo Shooter, except annoy one’s little brother? Hmm. I guess some things aren’t Only In Japan… • Read a novel set in Tokyo
Yes, young padawan, if you want to grow up to be a powerful host club master, it is never to early to start the training. Faux Louis Vuitton sandals: check. … Continue Reading You’re Never Too Young To Start The Training
From the test kitchens of intrepid single guys come these taste treats, made solely from junk food obtainable at any corner convenience store! Let’s accompany the judges as they determine … Continue Reading Cooking With Junk Food
…when the lights go out, your underwear says YES! Modest Casanovas can let their choners do the talking for them, with this addition to the glow-in-the-dark boxer brief collection from … Continue Reading Your Lips Say No, But…
Why, iced coffee of course. What were YOU thinking? • Read a novel set in Tokyo
Of all the WTF Japan products I’ve seen, this has to be the absolutely WTFiest. JIGGLY. WHITE. BUTT. PUDDING. According to the directions on the back, using only this mix, … Continue Reading Make Your Own Adorable Butt Pudding
Next time you wake up and feel like you’ve died and gone to hell, spend an hour sleeping off that mandatory company drinking party in an oxygen-filled hangover coffin! You’ll … Continue Reading Hangover Coffins: Rent ‘Em By The Hour
Forget all that tedious freezing your butt off in the woods with your shotgun – now you can get your very own stuffed animal head from a vending machine! Plus, … Continue Reading The Taxidermy Vending Machine
These days in Tokyo, the only people with black hair are those whose hair is actually gray, and the only people with gray hair are those whose hair is naturally … Continue Reading Today’s Beauty Quiz: Are You Young Enough To Have Gray Hair?
It’s amazing that a Japanese train ticket machine has never been in the running when it’s time to elect a new pope, because they are about as close to infallible … Continue Reading Job Description: Wizard of Oz
In Japan, you can get just about anything from a vending machine. Banana milk. Fake sea slugs. Miniature marble busts. And now you can get…the future! Yes, these handy vending … Continue Reading Fortune-O-Matic
After you’ve climbed the north face of Everest, surfed the 50-footers at Mavericks, and helicopter boarded the Eyjafjallajokull volcano, what’s left for next year’s Golden Week? Sadly, you discover that your … Continue Reading Kayak The Untamed Canals Of Tokyo!
Mmm-mmm, on market day in Koshinzuka, they still sell inago tsukudani, scoops of Jiminy Cricket’s relatives all toasted up nice and crispy in a salty-sweet marinade. And what do they … Continue Reading I’ll Take A Pound Of The Cricket Snacks, Please
First, you take a dried snake. A dried poisonous snake. Then you chop it into little pieces. Add some dried ginger and garlic and a few other secret ingredients. Powderize … Continue Reading How To Make Poisonous Dried Snake Tea