“Mommy, mommy, I want a nudibranch! All the other kids have nudibranchs! Pleeeeeze can I have ¥200? Pleeeeeze?” “No. Last time you cried when you got the Bornella anguilla instead … Continue Reading The Fake Sea Slug Vending Machine
Wait, eww, what are those fish doing? They’re, uh, giving me a pedicure. What? A pedicure? Haha, yeah, right, they’re fluttering around beautifying your feet? With their little fishie nail … Continue Reading Weirdest. Beauty. Treatment. Ever.
If anyone ever said to me, “Wow, you two go together like coffee and beer!” I think I’d start dusting off my OK Cupid profile. And it doesn’t stop there. … Continue Reading Coffee + Beer. No. Just…no.
If you want to contend for the title of World’s Laziest Human, get off the train at Takadanobaba Station and wait for the elevator to take you down the five … Continue Reading The World’s Shortest Elevator
Um, yeah. Plus, it’s March. If you’d like to visit Shibuya the next time you’re in Tokyo, all my favorite stuff to do is on my other blog, The Tokyo Guide … Continue Reading Just Another Friday Afternoon In Shibuya Station
Is there no end to the indignity Japanese idols must suffer? I mean seriously – can you imagine someone saying to Nirvana, “Hey, for your next release, we think it’d … Continue Reading What Are We Trying To Say Here? Pop Star?
Even the mannequins at my local salaryman uniform store seemed to sense that spring was in the air today. Or maybe they’re just practicing for all the pictures that will … Continue Reading Happy Headless Mannequins
The fairy tale chapel in this subway ad has nothing to do with religion – it’s actually a new wedding hall outside of Yokohama! Traditionally, Japanese couples got married in … Continue Reading Lights! Camera! Wedding!
In Japan, you’re never too young to start drinking tea! Now even babies can take a break from the hard work of learning that the hand that just hit them … Continue Reading Tea: Not Just For Toddlers Anymore
The Takurazuka stage production of the classic caper film naturally features the usual all-female cast, with lots of choice roles for the otokoyaku actresses who specialize in male roles! Taking … Continue Reading “Ocean’s 11”: All-New, All-Japanese And All-Female!
Yes, it’s the all-Japanese production of Fiddler On The Roof! I’d like to meet the yenta who put this one together! It seriously challenges the productions of Mozart-san and AKB48 idols starring … Continue Reading Tevye-san!
So, you know how in Japan, women don’t get any chocolate or roses or 600 carat diamond necklaces on Valentines Day? On the contrary, they’re supposed to fork over chocolate … Continue Reading Why Do Only Men Get Chocolate On Valentine’s Day?
I thought I’d missed my chance when I failed to fork over ¥6000 for the miracle-inducing Sexy Santa outfit at Christmastime, so imagine how thrilled I was to discover that … Continue Reading I Got My Miracle Body From A Vending Machine!
Yep, that’s it: “Shirako Tempura,” front and center on the menu I was handed at the izakaya Friday night. (Or if you’re slimming, you can slurp them down raw for … Continue Reading Oh Yay, It’s Deep-Fried Fish Testicle Season
Leave it to my favorite Japanese magazine Men’s Knuckle to do a down & dirty product comparison, so guys don’t have to guess wrong when faced with the bewildering number … Continue Reading Eyelid Glue Fight To The Death!
Now a guy no longer has to waste hours in front of the mirror, practicing lying to the cashier at Tokyu Hands that he’s buying that sparkly pink Power Ranger … Continue Reading For All Your Crossdressing Costume Needs
What is with you people?! It says right here, RIGHT ON THE RECYCLING BIN, in the kind of phonetic letters ANY SIX-YEAR-OLD should be able to handle: P A P … Continue Reading Just Try To Toss Your Round Garbage Into My Square Garbage Bin NOW!
As a sort of matter/anti-matter reaction to the See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil Gnomes, the same artist presents the F U Gnome. The Xmas-seasonal appearance of … Continue Reading Rude Gnomes
And all I need to do to get one is stop by the Shibjuya Loft store and plonk down ¥6000! Magical Socks are apparently included, as an extra bonus. On … Continue Reading All I Want For Christmas Is A Magical Body
Don’t get me wrong – I’m all for creativity and such, but some things are just W.R.O.N.G.! These line-crossers join the other less-than-trad incarnations in my Japanese Santa Hall Of … Continue Reading Various Acts Of Santa Blasphemy
Unibrow isn’t a big problem here in Japan, but what’s an “herbivore man” to do when the furry bits above his eyes aren’t up to the esthé standard of his … Continue Reading Beauty Help For Men
“Deck the halls with boughs of hemlock, fu-fu-fu-fu-fu, fu, fu, fu, fu…” Do you find red to be just too unbearably cheery? Think “Jingle Bells” ought to be remixed as … Continue Reading Emo Santa
Why is it that Japanese hot dogs always look so…enthusiastic? Of course, if I were an ordinary “ballpark dog” and suddenly found myself smothered in Porcini Mushroom Truffle Cream Sauce, … Continue Reading Is That Truffle Cream Sauce, Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?
Um, was it Opposite Day or were the geniuses at HEM just a little unclear on the concept when they dreamed up this product? “Hey boy, smells like you been … Continue Reading Make Your Room Smell Like You’ve Been Smoking Weed, Even If You Haven’t!
You know how some kids are afraid to go sit on Santa’s lap, even if they really really really want a pony? Well, I bet all the Santa phobias in … Continue Reading Scary Santa
If you’ve been searching for a miracle diet that’s guaranteed to make you eat less – or not at all! – at every meal, your quest for the holy grail … Continue Reading Dieting Made Easy
Wow, which one do I dread trying the most? It’s so hard to choose! As much as having my face covered in the kind of pond scum I remember eww-ing … Continue Reading Nightmare Or Skin Treatment? You Decide!
Think carefully before you commit crimes in this life, or in your next life you may be reborn as a cat with an owner who… All photos from the Japanese … Continue Reading Cat Humiliation: Certain Karmic Retribution
So, your friend sets you up on a blind date. He describes the girl you’re meeting as a bishōjōgurumi. You look the bits and pieces of kanji up in your ever-handy Japanese … Continue Reading Life Size Living Dolls
What IS this? A rare species of face-eating nudibranch? A faded map of the 18th hole at Pebble Beach? No! It’s a fake five o’clock shadow! This is an especially … Continue Reading Costumes I Would Regret Even Thinking Of Wearing
…and whether you call it a bicycle or a bike, don’t even THINK of parking it here. • Read a novel set in Tokyo…
I had to stop and count the zeros, because I can honestly say that even in Japan, I’ve never seen a number of that size attached to a piece of … Continue Reading Special today! $300 Mushrooms!
Blue Cheese? blaaat. Camembert? blaaat. Gouda? blaaat. Maple Syrup? BING-BONG! Yes, this month, Domino’s Japan will ship you a pizza bursting with four cheeses never before melted together on a crust, … Continue Reading And Today’s Japanese Pizza Mystery Ingredient Is…?
Nothing says Career Killer like a shot of your grinning face leering at the camera from inside a beer mask, two-fisting some brewskies! Tokyu Hands once again comes through with a … Continue Reading Costumes I Would Regret, Part Deux
Follow the directions posted on the wall next to each life-size, optical illusion painting at the Trick Art Museum in Odaiba, and your life will instantly look way more exciting than … Continue Reading Where To Get The Most Killer Profile Pix Ever
Tired of petitioning the Powers That Be every day for world peace, a winning lottery ticket, and for them to still have your size when those purple Fluevog boots you … Continue Reading Your Very Own Electronic Monk!
Nothing says “Come on in and have a splendid meal!” like an animal head outside the front door. I had to stop to admire this stuffed wild boar noggin at … Continue Reading Animal Heads of Welcome
…BLACK BEAN TEA? Yes, this offering appeared in the vending machine near my school just as the word “summer” became synonymous with just-shoot-me-now-I-feel-like-going-back-home-and-taking-a-shower-before-I-even-make-it-to-the-train-station. Because vending machine owners are on the … Continue Reading When the Thermometer Hits 30º, It’s Time For a Tall Icy Glass Of…
Suddenly, you find yourself in a primitive public bathroom not equipped with a Sound Princess! What are you going to do to cover up unseemly noises, without wasting gallons and … Continue Reading Portaflush
“Notice: When sleeping, “Red Panty” may cause you excite and make you sleepless. So put on ordinary color underwear when you sleep.” A thousand apologies for not immediately publishing this … Continue Reading The Peril Of The Red Panty
It looks like Coke Zero. It tastes like Coke Zero. But it has FEWER CALORIES than Coke Zero. And how is this miracle of math performed? Apparently, Mets Cola is specially … Continue Reading Less-Than-Zero Cola
I must be doing something right, since I don’t have any Japanese friends who throw parties attended by anyone wearing THIS. Although not quite as permanent as a tattoo, pictures of … Continue Reading Costumes I Would Regret
I’m pretty sure if I woke up the next morning with Hottoko tattooed on my leg and neck, I’d swear off drinking whatever inspired me to do such a thing … Continue Reading Tattoos I Would Regret
If I’d seen this anywhere but Japan, I’d think I’d stumbled into Transylvania, but here, nearly everybody posts their blood type on their Facebook profiles alongside their closest train station, … Continue Reading Blood Type Wine
Starving after completing the Scholia Arcana questline in Kingdoms of Amalur, you’re too weakened by your exertions to make it all the way to the 7-11 to pick up some … Continue Reading Chez Vending Machine
Valiantly planting his Extra-Crispy banner among the fierce townsfolk of Fuchu, Colonel Samurai conquers new territory for his finger-lickin’ fiefdom! Special thanks to my intrepid classmate Kiratipong Ongkasae for snagging … Continue Reading Colonel Samurai
Suddenly, you discover you have just too many monsters in your room! That collection you started when you were six has colonized every shelf and surface, leaving you nowhere to … Continue Reading The Idol and Monster Shop
Our hapless hero starts his day by shaving his manly beard. “Ah, another day of work. Today I’m really going to kick some butt!” He gets to the office and … Continue Reading Men: Kiss That Body Fur Goodbye
Nothing goes together better than a park filled with clouds of pink cherry blossoms and beer! Prodigious amounts of the hoppy beverage are sold here at the end of March … Continue Reading Cherry Blossom Beer
I didn’t think the Husky Club could outdo last month’s Husky kimono parade, but yesterday in honor of Japanese graduation season, they all turned up at the park dressed as manga … Continue Reading Manga Schoolgirl Dogs