By now you probably thought you’d seen it all when it comes to Japanese facial sheet masks – from the squicky & scary to skin treatments that turn you into … Continue Reading Intellectual Animal Beauty Masks
Not content to merely give people taller noses, smaller faces, and glued eyelids, now there’s a Japanese beauty appliance that irons out saggy face parts! Depending on which wrinkly bit … Continue Reading The Secret Facelift Belt
I scoured the drugstores at obscure Tokyo subway stops so you don’t have to. This face wash disappears off the shelves as fast as it’s put out, because who WOULDN’T want … Continue Reading Rose Foam Beauty Whip!
If Scary Nails was the theme of this year’s Nail Queen competition at the Tokyo Nail Expo, the winners definitely did not disappoint! And in the Junior Student category… Thanks go … Continue Reading Nail Queen…From Hell
If you’re a little short on live octopus tentacles the next time you need a beauty treatment, Tokyu Hands will happily sell you this pink plastic Vacu & Lift Roller. I’m not … Continue Reading The Octopus Treatment…For Your Face
In the eternal search for a beauty trend that their mothers dare not copy, young women in Japan are now trying to look…sickly. Yes, it’s gone beyond dyeing their hair gray to using makeup in … Continue Reading Sick Is The New Black
Whether you’re batting them at that cute guy from Accounting, or giving the stinkeye to your rival from Marketing, these Halloween-themed lashes will boost your superpowers 1000%. • Read a novel … Continue Reading Fake Eyelashes For The Halloween Win
Seriously! According to the package, this “Body Fragrance” confection “aromatizes body with a sweet fragrance.” I imagined it to be kind of like eating raw garlic – except your skin is supposed … Continue Reading Do I Smell Like A Grapefruit Yet?
Getting yourself a righteously small face has always been prized in Japan, but having a face that just oozes buffness is apparently the new Holy Grail Of Pulchritude. Behold the dizzying array of exercise … Continue Reading Hardcore Workout Equipment…For Your Face
In the Solution Looking For A Problem sweepstakes, this has gotta be a contender. If your piercings are in desperate need of a roto-rootering, you can stock on up ear floss at … Continue Reading Ear Floss
Somehow, Kabuki Villain Face never really whispered “adorable” in my ear, but it could be pretty entertaining to scare the bejeezus out of unsuspecting visitors while also attaining new levels of softer, smoother skin. And … Continue Reading Scary Kabuki Facial Mask
Or should I say scumstaches? What these wispy ghosts of fake beards/moustaches lack in identity concealment, they more than make up for in believability. Japanese men are not generally candidates for … Continue Reading Moustaches I Would Regret
Premium. Tomato. Whitening. Essence. Because if I wanted whiter skin, tomatoes are the first thing I’d think of. • Read a novel set in Tokyo…
We are assured on the package that this super-economy-size bag o’ face masks is chock full of placentas. Face rescuing placentas. Premium placentas. Okay, sorry, I really can’t hold it in anymore. EEWWWW! … Continue Reading Placentas. For Your Face.
If you don’t think it’s quite out there enough to have eyes that make you look like a living doll, say hello to this line of definitely unnatural contacts! How … Continue Reading Scary Eyes Made Easy
You know you’ve been waiting for it: now there’s a product that claims to give you amazing anime-tastic hair exactly like the characters in DragonballZ. And as long as anime … Continue Reading DragonballZ: The Hair Wax
…get thee to the closest Tokyu Hands and get your paws on some Natamame toothpaste! It claims to smite your bad breath in four different flavors: Rose, Aloe (does aloe … Continue Reading For Charcoal-Fresh Breath…
I don’t know which is weirder, the idea that you’d want your nose to be bigger, or that you think you can “train” it into pulchritude by using one of … Continue Reading Nose Training
Suddenly the stores are full of this stuff! Hair chalk isn’t as bright as bleaching the snickers out of your tresses and then dyeing, but it’s perfect for the clubhussy … Continue Reading Hair Chalk
Um, you’re supposed to glue these multi-culti “nail caviar” Prom BonBons where exactly? Saw these at Don Kihote store in Shibuya. If you’d like to be amazed by the weird goods … Continue Reading Most Confusing Nail Deco Package Award
Yikes, what is that creepy green Play Doh on that model’s face? Apparently, it’s FRUIT. If you’re all out of cobra venom, snail slime, or bee larvae facial treatments, the … Continue Reading Make Your Own Scary Facial Mask!
Who knew that aluminum could be the key to that holy grail of pulchritude, the small face? Apparently, it has become the flavor of the month when it comes to head … Continue Reading The Newest Ways To Get A Small Face
In Japan, guys can’t just strap on their pelt of chest hair and drag a woman back to their cave. From the pages of Men’s Knuckle magazine: how to get … Continue Reading Japanese Date Prep Bible…For Men
Yep, now you can have your favorite pattern, saying, kanji characters for “world peace” or boyfriend’s face on your digits with this handy dandy Auto Nail nail printer! Just lay … Continue Reading ‘Scuse Me, But I Gotta Get My Nails Printed
Hey, check this out – all I have to do to automatically look more glamorous is to chew a piece of this Glamatic gum! Gum chewing does not make anyone … Continue Reading Glamorous Gum
I’ve always wondered, how do ordinary 100% Japanese women get that round-eyed babydoll look? Fortunately, Ageha magazine hired a pro makeup artist to spill all the secrets! Here’s where she … Continue Reading Doll Eyes
No matter how unlucky you were when they were handing out the bodacious ta-tas, in less than five minutes – without any miracle creams, thighmasters-for-the-boobs, or push-up bras – you … Continue Reading Instaboobs
What’s a girl to do when her fiancé has nails that will certainly siphon off all kinds of attention that should rightly belong to the bride on her big day? … Continue Reading Bride Of Scissorhands
Want to flaunt a tattoo without giving your mom a heart attack? Airbrush! Want to cover up that fire-breathing festival fool ink you got in a drunken fit … Continue Reading Photoshop Yourself In Real Life
These days in Tokyo, the only people with black hair are those whose hair is actually gray, and the only people with gray hair are those whose hair is naturally … Continue Reading Today’s Beauty Quiz: Are You Young Enough To Have Gray Hair?
Can’t decide whether to drown your sorrows or get your nails done? Now you don’t have to! Get thee to the Bar Maria With Nail, and you can sip your … Continue Reading The Cocktail & Manicure Bar
Hey, I was visiting the Togenuki Jizo and I got you a present. Wow, thanks. What is it? Guess. Oh no. On second thought, I don’t want it. It’s something … Continue Reading What’s Long & Skinny And Not What You Think It Is?
Eyelid glue? Check! Colored circle contacts? Check! Long curled eyelashes? Oh no! Quick, get thee to the eyelash salon! Seems like there’s a shop on every corner promising Japanese women … Continue Reading How To Get Anime Eyes, Part II
That’s right, these little beauties are SELF-PIERCERS! How many ways can I say OW?! And even though the “birthstone” earring included suggests they are for 13-year-old girls, the store that … Continue Reading Hmm, Today I Think I’ll Do A Little Body Piercing…
Wait, eww, what are those fish doing? They’re, uh, giving me a pedicure. What? A pedicure? Haha, yeah, right, they’re fluttering around beautifying your feet? With their little fishie nail … Continue Reading Weirdest. Beauty. Treatment. Ever.
Making your nose look bigger is not at the top of most Westerners’ must-have beauty techniques, but stylish Japanese blades are apparently keen on giving their schnozzes a lift! From … Continue Reading How To Get Yourself A Tall Nose
Leave it to my favorite Japanese magazine Men’s Knuckle to do a down & dirty product comparison, so guys don’t have to guess wrong when faced with the bewildering number … Continue Reading Eyelid Glue Fight To The Death!
Nothing will provoke lively dinner conversation more than returning to the familial nest for the New Year’s holidays with…red eyes! Or if goat/alien is more your style: yellow! Of course, … Continue Reading I’ve Always Wanted Red Eyes!
It’s Christmas Eve – the most romantic date night of the year – and you just found out that your arch-nemesis from Marketing is planning to wear the same Sexy … Continue Reading Fake Eyelashes Of Epic Proportions
Unibrow isn’t a big problem here in Japan, but what’s an “herbivore man” to do when the furry bits above his eyes aren’t up to the esthé standard of his … Continue Reading Beauty Help For Men
I guess it was inevitable: the species of Japanese males who have come to be known as “grass-eating men” (sōshoku danshi) now have their own beauty brand: VegeBoy! Guys who … Continue Reading Veggie Boys vs. Carnivore Men
Congratulating yourself that your spanking new nail art will definitely make it impossible for you to be selected to wash dishes or chop vegetables, you whip out your smartphone to … Continue Reading Tools For The Fingernail Challenged
Wow, which one do I dread trying the most? It’s so hard to choose! As much as having my face covered in the kind of pond scum I remember eww-ing … Continue Reading Nightmare Or Skin Treatment? You Decide!
Nobody will dare ask you to lift a butterfly-graced finger when your nails are done up with these chore-evading beauties! You might not be able to do anything else either, … Continue Reading Butterfly Nails
Royal Jelly Essence! Ooo, this face mask promises to use the rejuvenating power of distilled nectar of the bee-gods to transform my face into a paragon of dewy freshness! It’s … Continue Reading In This Case, Maybe a Product Photo Wasn’t The Hottest Idea
Plain pink gloss? So last millennium! Now you can sport lips with stars and more – I’ve seen this on more than one model in Japanese magazines! I thought I’d … Continue Reading Starry Starry Lips
It looks like Coke Zero. It tastes like Coke Zero. But it has FEWER CALORIES than Coke Zero. And how is this miracle of math performed? Apparently, Mets Cola is specially … Continue Reading Less-Than-Zero Cola
Forget that zumba class – I’m going shopping instead! Every step on the way to the floor where they sell the Infrared Pants Of Titanium at Tokyu Hands now informs … Continue Reading Stairway to Svelteness Heaven
Our hapless hero starts his day by shaving his manly beard. “Ah, another day of work. Today I’m really going to kick some butt!” He gets to the office and … Continue Reading Men: Kiss That Body Fur Goodbye
How’s this for an idea: deco on everything BUT your nails! Saw this sign advertising a salon in Ebisu. • Read a novel set in Tokyo…