Jonelle Patrick's Only In Japan
Every day, stuff you'd never see anywhere else.
Not content to merely give people taller noses, smaller faces, and glued eyelids, now there’s a Japanese beauty appliance that irons out saggy face parts! Depending on which wrinkly bit … Continue Reading The Secret Facelift Belt
I scoured the drugstores at obscure Tokyo subway stops so you don’t have to. This face wash disappears off the shelves as fast as it’s put out, because who WOULDN’T want … Continue Reading Rose Foam Beauty Whip!
If you’re a little short on live octopus tentacles the next time you need a beauty treatment, Tokyu Hands will happily sell you this pink plastic Vacu & Lift Roller. I’m not … Continue Reading The Octopus Treatment…For Your Face
In the eternal search for a beauty trend that their mothers dare not copy, young women in Japan are now trying to look…sickly. Yes, it’s gone beyond dyeing their hair gray to using makeup in … Continue Reading Sick Is The New Black
Seriously! According to the package, this “Body Fragrance” confection “aromatizes body with a sweet fragrance.” I imagined it to be kind of like eating raw garlic – except your skin is supposed … Continue Reading Do I Smell Like A Grapefruit Yet?
Getting yourself a righteously small face has always been prized in Japan, but having a face that just oozes buffness is apparently the new Holy Grail Of Pulchritude. Behold the dizzying array of exercise … Continue Reading Hardcore Workout Equipment…For Your Face
Somehow, Kabuki Villain Face never really whispered “adorable” in my ear, but it could be pretty entertaining to scare the bejeezus out of unsuspecting visitors while also attaining new levels of softer, smoother skin. And … Continue Reading Scary Kabuki Facial Mask
Premium. Tomato. Whitening. Essence. Because if I wanted whiter skin, tomatoes are the first thing I’d think of. • Read a novel set in Tokyo…
We are assured on the package that this super-economy-size bag o’ face masks is chock full of placentas. Face rescuing placentas. Premium placentas. Okay, sorry, I really can’t hold it in anymore. EEWWWW! … Continue Reading Placentas. For Your Face.
But what I want to know is, how do they KNOW the dragons only ate pesticide-free virgins? Is the blood harvested from organically-certified, knight-armor-free, farm-grown dragons? You can get your very own Toothpaste … Continue Reading Salty Dragonblood Toothpaste
You know you’ve been waiting for it: now there’s a product that claims to give you amazing anime-tastic hair exactly like the characters in DragonballZ. And as long as anime … Continue Reading DragonballZ: The Hair Wax
I don’t know which is weirder, the idea that you’d want your nose to be bigger, or that you think you can “train” it into pulchritude by using one of … Continue Reading Nose Training
Yikes, what is that creepy green Play Doh on that model’s face? Apparently, it’s FRUIT. If you’re all out of cobra venom, snail slime, or bee larvae facial treatments, the … Continue Reading Make Your Own Scary Facial Mask!
Who knew that aluminum could be the key to that holy grail of pulchritude, the small face? Apparently, it has become the flavor of the month when it comes to head … Continue Reading The Newest Ways To Get A Small Face
In Japan, guys can’t just strap on their pelt of chest hair and drag a woman back to their cave. From the pages of Men’s Knuckle magazine: how to get … Continue Reading Japanese Date Prep Bible…For Men
Yep, now you can have your favorite pattern, saying, kanji characters for “world peace” or boyfriend’s face on your digits with this handy dandy Auto Nail nail printer! Just lay … Continue Reading ‘Scuse Me, But I Gotta Get My Nails Printed
I’ve always wondered, how do ordinary 100% Japanese women get that round-eyed babydoll look? Fortunately, Ageha magazine hired a pro makeup artist to spill all the secrets! Here’s where she … Continue Reading Doll Eyes
Want to flaunt a tattoo without giving your mom a heart attack? Airbrush! Want to cover up that fire-breathing festival fool ink you got in a drunken fit … Continue Reading Photoshop Yourself In Real Life
These days in Tokyo, the only people with black hair are those whose hair is actually gray, and the only people with gray hair are those whose hair is naturally … Continue Reading Today’s Beauty Quiz: Are You Young Enough To Have Gray Hair?
Forget having a Miracle Body. All I gotta do to snag me a man is hop into one of these kickass bubble baths from Tokyu Hands. I saw these at … Continue Reading Mankiller Bubble Bath
Wait, eww, what are those fish doing? They’re, uh, giving me a pedicure. What? A pedicure? Haha, yeah, right, they’re fluttering around beautifying your feet? With their little fishie nail … Continue Reading Weirdest. Beauty. Treatment. Ever.
Making your nose look bigger is not at the top of most Westerners’ must-have beauty techniques, but stylish Japanese blades are apparently keen on giving their schnozzes a lift! From … Continue Reading How To Get Yourself A Tall Nose
Leave it to my favorite Japanese magazine Men’s Knuckle to do a down & dirty product comparison, so guys don’t have to guess wrong when faced with the bewildering number … Continue Reading Eyelid Glue Fight To The Death!
It’s Christmas Eve – the most romantic date night of the year – and you just found out that your arch-nemesis from Marketing is planning to wear the same Sexy … Continue Reading Fake Eyelashes Of Epic Proportions
Unibrow isn’t a big problem here in Japan, but what’s an “herbivore man” to do when the furry bits above his eyes aren’t up to the esthé standard of his … Continue Reading Beauty Help For Men
Wow, which one do I dread trying the most? It’s so hard to choose! As much as having my face covered in the kind of pond scum I remember eww-ing … Continue Reading Nightmare Or Skin Treatment? You Decide!
Nobody will dare ask you to lift a butterfly-graced finger when your nails are done up with these chore-evading beauties! You might not be able to do anything else either, … Continue Reading Butterfly Nails
Royal Jelly Essence! Ooo, this face mask promises to use the rejuvenating power of distilled nectar of the bee-gods to transform my face into a paragon of dewy freshness! It’s … Continue Reading In This Case, Maybe a Product Photo Wasn’t The Hottest Idea
Okay, before you step into that steaming pile of sexist doo-doo, why not? Why shouldn’t men be able to cover up that unfortunate red thing between their eyes, or disguise … Continue Reading Makeup for Men: Hell Yeah!
I’ve always wondered how to use eyelid glue. I knew it was a prime tool in the make-up kits of Japanese gyaru seeking that perfect babydoll look, but never understood … Continue Reading How to Glue Your Eyelids
I love Japanese TV. Sandwiched between a news story about protesters being pepper sprayed by police in a dangerous foreign country (America) and a piece on noodles topped with grilled … Continue Reading Nail Queen
I saw this poster in the window of a esthé salon in Shin Okubo, advertising a facial treatment that supposedly delivers that holy grail of Japanese pulchritude, the “small face.” … Continue Reading Head Shrinking, Japanese Style
