Jonelle Patrick's Only In Japan
Every day, stuff you'd never see anywhere else.
I had to go check to make sure that the best-dressed nude statue in Tokyo made it through the typhoon safely. And he did! Not only that, he already knows … Continue Reading This Year’s Burning October Question: What’s The Peeing Statue Wearing For Halloween?
These days, everyone wants “experiences,” not “stuff,” so how about digging into your Santa sack for presents that deliver #youllneverguesswhatwedids that could only come from (where else?)…Japan! This year, give … Continue Reading Top Ten Crazy Holiday Gifts From Japan 2018
“I just couldn’t put it down…a ‘must read’.” Okay, what do you think THIS floral designer got in trouble for drawing in the margins of his schoolbooks…? If I’d come … Continue Reading Gateway To Chrysanthemum Bliss?
So, I was walking through the stately Ikegami Hongan-ji temple grounds this spring, and I saw this sign. I guess with the shrinking population and all, the number of regular … Continue Reading Funeral For A…What?
Yesterday I was walking through Ueno Station, and I spotted this I’ve posted before about silly subway posters that warn against kicking the ticket wicket, pitching a beer in the station … Continue Reading Most Useless Subway Poster In The History Of Useless Subway Posters
This insidious Halloween snowman’s got a world-class #xmasmissioncreep game going on, but I’m going to choose not to be reminded that the Japanese Christmas glitter bomb is poised to hit us … Continue Reading Hallowrong
Making my way back to Kamakura Station after tossing a few plates at the Dish-Breaking Shrine, I was walking through a totally normal-looking neighborhood when I chanced upon this. A … Continue Reading When You REALLY Hate Your Neighbors
Hanging out waiting for a train this spring, my intrepid fellow adventurer and I spotted THIS in a vending machine! Of all the unlikely tastes to come in a can, … Continue Reading Cream Puffs You Can…Drink
Because what nuptial event could possibly be complete without… • Read a novel set in Tokyo
Rose. Flavored. Yogurt. Let’s all agree that this one ought to have remained a fantasy. • Read a novel set in Tokyo
See, this is where tolerance will get you. Let them get away with putting ginger pickles and fish shavings on pizza, say nothing when your spaghetti comes topped with sea urchin … Continue Reading The Slippery Slope, Illustrated
• Read a novel set in Tokyo…
It never fails – every time the big cherry things burst into bloom, I see foods that totally make me want to shout “What the pinkity pink?” I’m not talking about food that … Continue Reading Pink Food Season Arrives In All Its WTF Splendor
GLAMPING. Camping + Glamour = Glamping? No. In fact, all flavors of charcoal-toasted NO. On a stick. Those two words don’t belong together EVER. Except, maybe, in Japan. Where you can purchase rugged tents like these: … Continue Reading Please Tell Me This Isn’t Really A Thing
Is it just me, or does this omelet kind of look like it was on the losing side at the Battle of Sekigahara? • Read a novel set in Tokyo…
Strolling through the toy aisles of Yodobashi camera one rainy day (as one does), I was stopped in my tracks by this. Disney goes pocchari! Mocchi-mocchi Pooh! Not to be outdone … Continue Reading Inexplicable Toy Trends Of Japan
Okay, when I spotted this page of stickers at Tokyu Hands featuring smokin’ hot hostboys, I thought they were kinda fun. Even considered buying a bunch of them to give to my … Continue Reading Thanks For Destroying My Fantasies, Little Host Stickers
So, today I came home and found THIS. I don’t know what kind of shenanigans YOUR gacha-gacha toys get up to when they’re alone in the house, but… This series may be … Continue Reading The Drunken Pet Vending Machine
Yes, it’s that time of year again, when you comb your list of friends & family for those who truly deserve that rare and awe-inspiring gift from Japan… 10. If there’s nobody on your … Continue Reading Top Ten Crazy Holiday Gifts From Japan 2016
As you can imagine, in the land where Sexy Santa and Sexy Skunk are a Thing (why, Japan, why?), Halloween is the premiere season for Costume Don’ts. Saw these at Don Kihote … Continue Reading What NOT To Wear For Halloween
Okay, as you know, I’ve long been fascinated with Japanese menu depictions of hot dogs, because they can’t seem to resist making them look a little, er, over-eager. But don’t you … Continue Reading Japanese Food Styling Gone Wrong
If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you know that my sympathy runs deep for the poor toy designers who have to churn out new adorable stuffies when all the … Continue Reading Uncuddly Stuffies
Saw the red camo shoes at a shoe store in Skytree, and the samurai b-ball hats at Tokyu Hands in Ikebukuro • Read a novel set in Tokyo…
Okay,I totally get that some days it’s hard to choose between a bucket of french fries and a bathtub of ice cream. I even understand that some days you just say … Continue Reading Twice The Guilt & Half The Pleasure
A few days ago I was climbing the escalators in the hated Skytree* in search of the Sumidagawa Aquarium, and was stopped in my tracks by this. An exhibition of fake food art! Best. Idea. Ever. All … Continue Reading Potatosaurus Rex
Now THAT’s what I call a RUG. • Read a novel set in Tokyo…
If there was a vote on which animal is least likely to be described as “fluffy, “winsome” and “cuddly,” I think tapirs would pretty much win the internet. So why are tapirs suddenly everywhere? Honestly, I’ve … Continue Reading The Gods Of Kawaii Anoint The Most Inexplicable Animal Yet
Sometimes you’re trudging home and dreading getting on a crowded train, then you find THIS! How great is it that they have a peeing boy statue smack in the middle … Continue Reading The Best Dressed Nude Statue In All Of Tokyo
Because seriously, unless you were raised by Mechagodzilla, how could you not know that headbutting a station employee, grabbing him by his necktie and drunk-pitching your beer in his face are not exactly … Continue Reading Subway Manners…For Aliens
I thought playing Rhett Butler in an all-Japanese, all-female production of Gone With The Wind was about as gender-bendy as you could get, but now one of the esteemed actresses in the famed Takarazuka troupe … Continue Reading Honest Abe Gets An Extreme Makeover
In case a shot of caffeine isn’t quite enough to get you going in the morning… (If you’re braver than I am, you can find it this month at your … Continue Reading Pink Pepper Milk Coffee
If I were Queen Of The World, there would be a Japanese Complaints Choir* and they would sing about this. If anyone’s ever invented a more feeble excuse for a … Continue Reading Every Japanese Room I’ve Ever Lived In
Aieeee, it’s true! McDonald’s is selling chocolate covered french fries in Tokyo! These are so clearly a frontrunner for the All Flavors Of Nope Award, I feel I must selflessly step up and take one … Continue Reading In Which We Try Those Wicked-Looking Chocolate Covered French Fries
Q. What’s got four wheels and sparkles and can totally give you ear damage? A. The cars on display at Tokyo Auto Salon, of course! Yes, there’s a gigantic car show dedicated … Continue Reading Bling ALL The Rides
The kopi luwat civet poops coffee. Or, to be more precise, it climbs to the top of coffee trees, eats the ripest beans, digests the fruity bits around the seed and, … Continue Reading How About A Nice Cup Of Civet Poop Coffee?
I was cutting through my favorite crazy pet store in Odaiba, when I spotted what I thought was a deli counter where pet owners who had become famished while stocking up on camouflage dog strollers … Continue Reading The Deli For Dogs
Because in Japan, dressing up is no joke! Real cosplayers scoff at Halloween as Amateur Night, but for most people, the Big H is a chance to flaunt their secret zombie in public, and even … Continue Reading Level Up, Halloweenies!
Aieee, what is this, AUSTRALIA? I mean, what if you got up in the morning and snagged your bread from the toaster before you’d had your coffee and when you went to take … Continue Reading Eat ALL The Bugs
Recently I discovered this primo autocrat disguise, so you can give fellow revelers a choice: laugh at your jokes…or quake in fear as missiles are pointed in your general direction. Saw these at Don Kihote store in … Continue Reading Jolly Despot Costumes I Would Regret
Do you even have to ask? Of course Tokyo has a restaurant where you get locked into a cell and made to drink cocktails with eyeballs in them! Every group … Continue Reading Haunted Prison Restaurant? Yes, Please!
As if it wasn’t strange enough that there are a lot of maid cafés that offer the service of extracting their customers’ grotty earwax while calling them “Master Of The House,” now there’s a … Continue Reading Weirdest Maid Café Ever
Walking through Shinjuku station today, I discovered I had a burning need for angry cat ghosts. Fortunately, there was a bank of gacha-gacha vending machines smack in the middle of … Continue Reading The Angry Cat Ghost Vending Machine
…where exactly did Mos Burger find a chicken part that looks like THIS? • If you can’t be eating weird Japanese chicken nuggets, you can always read a novel set in Tokyo … Continue Reading Not An Expert On Chicken Anatomy, But…
Last weekend, Tokyo’s Design Festa delivered a level of craziness so far beyond words that once again, I’m just going to have to show you pictures. First, from the double rainbow world of animal goods… … Continue Reading Tokyo Design Festa 2015: Seriously, You Can’t Make This Stuff Up
Just when you thought America had cornered the market when it came to eating ALL the carbs, Japanese burger chain Loteria one-ups the red-white-‘n-blue with this tri-deck noodle monster. Yes, it’s that … Continue Reading The Triple-Decker Noodle Burger
Ooo, cherry blossoms, ooo, ooo! Hey, look, there’s a little sailboat on the water! No, haha, it’s a guy paddleboarding the untamed canals of Tokyo. …No. No, it’s not. It’s…it’s a … Continue Reading In Which We Discover That Nothing Is Sacred
If Scary Nails was the theme of this year’s Nail Queen competition at the Tokyo Nail Expo, the winners definitely did not disappoint! And in the Junior Student category… Thanks go … Continue Reading Nail Queen…From Hell
So, there’s this street in Tokyo I’ve written about before that’s known as the “Grandma & Grandpa’s Harajuku” because it’s where all the oldsters go to stock up on the … Continue Reading Sexy Red Undies Opposite Day
Yes, it’s a heart-shaped patty of raw meat. Because what could be more romantic? (Thanks to my friend Mad Caron of Clumsy Dandy fame for spotting this, er, treat.) • … Continue Reading The Hamburger Of Luv
I think I’d describe this as: all flavors of NO. • Although you still ought to read a novel set in Tokyo
