Tokyo Design Festa 2015: Seriously, You Can’t Make This Stuff Up

For all your Cat Butt Pincushion needs.

For all your Cat Butt Pincushion needs.

Last weekend, Tokyo’s Design Festa delivered a level of craziness so far beyond words that once again, I’m just going to have to show you pictures. First, from the double rainbow world of animal goods…

Think you can escape those pesky felines by locking yourself in the bathroom? Think again. Tha Cat Tub awaits. (And yes, water comes out it's mouth!) Jinengo-gama

Think you can escape those pesky felines by locking yourself in the bathroom? Think again. The Cat Tub awaits. (And yes, the water comes out its mouth!) Jinengo-gama

Don't wait until it's time to send your dear departed pet to the taxidermist to get it stuffed - now you can enjoy a 3-D portrait of your beloved Fifi sculpted in felt! Futaya Kurumi

Don’t wait until it’s time to send your dear departed pet to the taxidermist to get it stuffed – now you can enjoy a 3-D portrait of your beloved Fifi sculpted in felt! Futaya Kurumi

Everyone needs at least one realistic wolf head in their closet. k-line

What, you don’t already have a realistic wolf head in your closet? Get thee to the k-line fur suit shop on the double!

But kitties move over - this was definitely the Year Of The Fox. Check out these awesome fox warrior figures!

Kitties, doggies & fishies move over – it was definitely the Year Of The Fox at Design Festa. Check out these awesome fox warrior figures!

And don't leave home without THIS. Because RHINESTONE-ENCRUSTED FOX MASK. @omen_kashimaya

And don’t leave home without THIS. Because RHINESTONE-ENCRUSTED FOX MASK. @omen_kashimaya

And this fab felted fennec fox, crafted by an artist who ACTUALLY HAS ONE AS A PET.nijikake.wix.com/kama

This fab felted fennec fox is crafted by an artist who ACTUALLY HAS ONE AS A PET. nijikake.wix.com/kama

Maybe you didn't know you needed a blue fox fur bracelet, that can also be worn as a hat, but you do, trust me, YOU DO. Kaze-taka

Maybe you didn’t know you needed a blue fox fur bracelet that can also be worn as a hat, but you do, trust me, YOU DO. Kaze-taka

And as for leather steampunk bird beaks? So last timeslip! Say hello to foxy snouts and bear maws...

And as for leather steampunk bird beaks? So last timeslip! Say hello to foxy snouts and bear maws (jackalopes.club)…

...or get your scaryface on with a retro-apocalypse mask.

…or get your scaryface on with these retro-apocalypse masks. Atsushi Shibata

Or, if you'd rather not scare the bejeezus out of your compadres, how about a nice cuppa that turns you into a cute piggy every time you take a sip? Kana Nagasawa

If you’d rather not scare the bejeezus out of your compadres, how about a nice cuppa that turns you into a cute piggy every time you take a sip? Kana Nagasawa

And okay, I put this in because only at Design Festa would there be a character that looks like a...a...well, I couldn't actually bring myself to ask, but do you have to, really?

And okay, I put this in because only at Design Festa would there be a character that looks like a…a…well, I couldn’t actually bring myself to ask, but do I really need to?

And HA, how could I leave out the classic Design Festa studded leather goth bikini from CYbER dYNE

And HA, how could I leave out the classic studded leather goth bikini from the CYbER dYNE booth…

...or the golden skull purses? (Bonus: they're red inside!) (Yukihiro)

…or the golden skull purses? (Bonus: they’re red inside!) (Yukihiro Leather)

...or the weird squeaky-nose cosplayers and their daughter?

Naturally, there were weird squeaky-nose cosplayers.

Or mention that in addition to all the supreme craft krand for sale, there is also continuous entertainment like sword fighting such & such?

And in addition to all the supreme craft krand for sale, there was also continuous entertainment like belly dancing & sword fighting & such.

And of course artists were constantly painting their murals all weekend. This one was by far my favorite!

Artists were of course busily painting their murals all weekend. I want this one. Badly.

Design Festa is held twice a year, in May and November. If you’re in Tokyo and want to go, a map to Tokyo Big Sight convention center is on my website, The Tokyo Guide I Wish I’d Had. Admission is ¥1000 for a one day ticket, ¥1800 for a two-day pass, children under 12 free.

Read a novel set in Tokyo

When Detective Kenji Nakamura’s phone rings with the news that his mother’s death wasn’t an accident, his life begins to unravel…read more