Tag Archives: vending machines

Japanese Capsule Toys Explain the Five Stages of Quarantine Hair Grief

DENIAL “Wow, thanks, yours is growing out great too” ANGER “BURN IT WITH FIRE” BARGAINING “If I could just find the right accessories” DEPRESSION “Who cares? We’re probably never leaving our house again anyway” ACCEPTANCE “You know, even after this is all over, I might just keep wearing this turban” •

Gachapon animals ask their mirrors the most burning quarantine questions

Does this mask make my butt look big? Thicc Boi? Who’s a Thicc Boi? Dessert? Did someone mention dessert? How can I compel my overserfs to order things that come in bigger boxes? •

How Did I Survive Before There Were Standing Cat Toys?

The question isn’t really “Do I really need more gachapon capsule toys?” but “How did I ever communicate without them?” “Would it have killed you?” “＊…” “29. Why do you ask?” “Are you going to eat that all by yourself?” “Don’t even think of it.” This series may be sold out by the time you’re next inContinueContinue reading “How Did I Survive Before There Were Standing Cat Toys?”

The Shrine Maiden Vending Machine

Are ya feelin’ lucky? Because this vending machine dispenses fortunes, just like the ones you can buy at Japanese shrines! But that’s not all – it’s delivered by a little animatronic shrine maiden, who fetches if from the inner precincts and deposits it in the offering box for your future-divining pleasure. Color-changing lights flash andContinueContinue reading “The Shrine Maiden Vending Machine”

The Cat Shaming Vending Machine

How did you guess that the moment I caught a glimpse of this vending machine filled with cat shaming gachagacha, all my laundry coins would be history? “I played with the tissue” “I ate your snack” “I broke the dishes” “I clawed the wall” There was only one problem… I got the first four beforeContinueContinue reading “The Cat Shaming Vending Machine”

Move Over, Monkeys! See-no Evil, Hear-no-Evil, Speak-no-Evil Cats Are Here

Sticking to the straight and narrow has never been cuter, thanks to these adorable kittycat gacha-gacha toys, and the vending machine that dispenses them on the Yanaka Ginza shopping street. And each comes with an object of mid-century tech to remind us that seeing, hearing, and speaking evil has never been harder to avoid SeeContinueContinue reading “Move Over, Monkeys! See-no Evil, Hear-no-Evil, Speak-no-Evil Cats Are Here”

The Shiba Inu Vending Machine

Finally! A series of shiba inu gachagacha toys made by an artist who understands that these devilish dogs are not just unbearably adorable, they come packed with a level of eccentric that makes eel-flavored ice cream look like vanilla. What other dog would become more beloved for sticking its head where it doesn’t belong andContinueContinue reading “The Shiba Inu Vending Machine”

The Fox Wedding Vending Machine

Don’t say I never take one for the team – I just spent a year’s worth of laundry coins getting every single member of this fox wedding so you don’t have to! Move over Angry Ghost Cats and Drunken Pets! The Fox Wedding vending machine takes tiny collectible toy obsession to a whole new level.ContinueContinue reading “The Fox Wedding Vending Machine”

The Host Club Vending Machine

When I first saw this gachapon machine filled with little plastic champagne towers, I thought WAT? Who needs a set of miniature, light-up, host club furniture? I mean, even though it’s pretty happenin’ how they change color and all… …I wasn’t instantly throwing all my money at the coin changer. Until… …it hit me thatContinueContinue reading “The Host Club Vending Machine”

The Drunken Pet Vending Machine

So, today I came home and found THIS. I don’t know what kind of shenanigans YOUR gacha-gacha toys get up to when they’re alone in the house, but… These adorable animals are available at the Drunken Pet vending machine for just ¥200 each! This series may be sold out by the time you’re next in Tokyo, but thereContinueContinue reading “The Drunken Pet Vending Machine”

The Peeing Statue Vending Machine

This month, the best dressed nude statue in all of Tokyo gets busy putting the weenie in Halloween It’s always hard to say goodbye to my favorite costumed peeing boy statue when I leave Tokyo, but now I don’t have to! Thanks to the awesome vending machine I discovered at Yodobashi Camera, I can take himContinueContinue reading “The Peeing Statue Vending Machine”

It Must Be Fake Peach Flavor Season Again

The vending machines are suddenly stuffed with pink drinks. Of course, there hasn’t been a genuine fuzzy-skinned stone fruit within a thousand kilometers of these so-called “peach” libations, but that doesn’t stop them from making the point that even drinks flavored with highly unnatural chemicals must only appear when they’re “in season” in Japan. •

The Catzilla Vending Machine

Overcome with a burning need for yet more weird plastic toys (hey, don’t pretend this doesn’t happen to you!) I was poking around in my favorite Akihabara gachagacha emporium when I discovered THIS: Yes! It’s what Japan’s favorite irradiated lizard would look like if it were a cat! With two tails! (Rather a lucky mutation, since threeContinueContinue reading “The Catzilla Vending Machine”

The Angry Fox Ghost Vending Machine

I thought I’d reached the highest level of gacha-gacha nirvana when I discovered the Angry Cat Ghost vending machine last year, but yesterday walking through what I’d previously thought of as the ninth-circle-of-hell Shinagawa station, I spied these: YOKAI FOXES! As you can see, they come in six, count ’em SIX, fabulous colors, three with lucky messenger-of-the-gods markings. And yeah, as youContinueContinue reading “The Angry Fox Ghost Vending Machine”

Help, There’s A Hamster In My Drink!

Lately in Japan there’s been an explosion of vending machines selling little characters that perch on the side of your glass, so you never have to drink alone. But none of them has been nearly as cute as HAMSTERS. Well, okay, at first glance, spotting seven of them scrambling to get at your drink before youContinueContinue reading “Help, There’s A Hamster In My Drink!”

The Angry Cat Ghost Vending Machine

Walking through Shinjuku station today, I discovered I had a burning need for angry cat ghosts. Fortunately, there was a bank of gacha-gacha vending machines smack in the middle of the concourse, ready to cater to all my feline spiritual needs. OK, so maybe I went a little overboard trying to collect them all DON’TContinueContinue reading “The Angry Cat Ghost Vending Machine”

Fall Is When The Vending Machines Change Colors In Japan

Blue tags are cold drinks, hot ones are orange Here, you don’t need to go out and commune with nature to know when autumn has arrived – all you have to do is check your corner vending machine to see how many of the cold tea offerings have switched over to hot tea. •

The Statue Of Too Much Liberty

These have got to be the most awesome gacha-gacha vending machine snags of all time! These little plastic figures depict Lady Liberty morphing into “Too-Free Goddess” and assuming unseemly poses! But forget trying to blackmail her with threats to tweet her indiscretions far and wide – there are already stop-action videos up on YouTube… The Cornholio Of Liberty Oh no, please tell me teaContinueContinue reading “The Statue Of Too Much Liberty”

I Hope You Wanted Marlboros

This vending machine offers you a choice between Marlboros and…Marlboros. It could be a glimpse of some horrible apocalyptic future in which the only beer left on Earth is Miller Light and the only mayo is Miracle Whip, or it could be the latest example of a popular Japanese advertising trend: make the product stand out on the shelf by…buying up all the shelves. This is the first time I’ve seenContinueContinue reading “I Hope You Wanted Marlboros”

Japanese Invent A New Way For VIP Visits To Annoy The Populace

The populace protests the closure. You know how it goes when a VIP comes to town: streets unexpectedly blocked, swarms of shifty-eyed men in dark suits with little curly wires in their ears, cavalcades of unnecessarily long dark cars swanning through the streets? Annoying, right? Well, in Japan, everybody takes the subway, so you’d thinkContinueContinue reading “Japanese Invent A New Way For VIP Visits To Annoy The Populace”

The Dog Sandwich Vending Machine

Try your luck at this vending machine and you might get a Chihuahuaffle! Or a Corgi Cornet! Or a Filet O’ Pug! Litte. Plastic. Sandwiches. With dogs in them. Wat. Or, most horrible of all, the Fried Shiba Sandwich! •

The Fake Sea Slug Vending Machine

“Mommy, mommy, I want a nudibranch! All the other kids have nudibranchs! Pleeeeeze can I have ¥200? Pleeeeeze?” “No. Last time you cried when you got the Bornella anguilla instead of the Chromodoris annai and I had to take you out of the store because everybody thought I was abusing you or something.” “I won’t cry!ContinueContinue reading “The Fake Sea Slug Vending Machine”

Coffin Nails For Lefties

Were the lion of the Cuban Revolución to make a little posthumous visit to Japan from Guerilla Heaven, he might be surprised (and possibly more than a little outraged) to find himself shilling for cigarettes from beyond the grave! At least they’re a nice Marxist red. •

Just Try To Toss Your Round Garbage Into My Square Garbage Bin NOW!

DON’T SAY I DIDN’T WARN YOU. What is with you people?! It says right here, RIGHT ON THE RECYCLING BIN, in the kind of phonetic letters ANY SIX-YEAR-OLD should be able to handle: P A P E R    P A C K Does that say “plastic” to you? Seriously, people, read the sign. ThisContinueContinue reading “Just Try To Toss Your Round Garbage Into My Square Garbage Bin NOW!”

The Scene Of The Crime

I get to Shibuya Station a little early to meet a friend, and suddenly I’m so hungry I think I’m going to die. Whipping inside the handy Tokyu store, I buy a miniature bag of chocolate cookies to wolf down before my friend arrives. Nom, nom, whew, ravenous feeling assuaged. Oh no, unanticipated pitfall! NowContinueContinue reading “The Scene Of The Crime”

There’s a Fish Fin in My Drink

Finally it’s cold and rainy out, just the season for a swig of hot saké with a smoked, dried blowfish fin floating in it! Hirezake is such a wintertime favorite here in Japan that they sell these single-serving cans in vending machines. But nobody wants to encounter a nasty, soggy fish fin that’s been stewing in theContinueContinue reading “There’s a Fish Fin in My Drink”

Steaming Hot Orange Soda

For your wintertime beverage enjoyment, behold the Hot Orange. At first I figured the distributor was just getting rid of last summer’s overstock, but the packaging definitely says this vending machine offering is not only meant to be drunk steaming hot, it’ll deliver a dose of vitamin C to fend off those pesky winter colds.ContinueContinue reading “Steaming Hot Orange Soda”

Yakitori in a Can

If you can’t be bothered to boil water and make your own Cup Noodles, this vending machine’s for you. On offer are curry udon (thick white noodles smothered in curry gravy), all manner of ramen (thin crinkly noodles in pork soup flavored with soy sauce or miso), zōsui (rice gruel with vegetables), chicken yakitori (grilledContinueContinue reading “Yakitori in a Can”

Your One-Stop Shop for Cold Drinks and Heart Defibrillation

I’ve seen AED stations all over Japan (and of course applaud the effort to get emergency equipment into the hands of bystanders so they can help someone having a heart attack) but hmm, this one made me think twice about buying that extra-caffeinated coffee drink… •

Coffee, Tea, or a Shot of Hot Red Beans?

It’s the season when warm drinks reappear in vending machines all over Japan, offering morning jolts of coffee, black tea, cocoa, green tea and…red bean soup? Yes, it’s time for shiruko, that wintertime favorite made from crushed sweet red beans, thinned so it can be slurped from a can in an alleyway on the wayContinueContinue reading “Coffee, Tea, or a Shot of Hot Red Beans?”

The Ur-Vending Machine

I was walking along a little back street in Tama when I came across the great grand-daddy of vending machines: this little neighborhood vegetable hutch. People leave their backyard surplus in the bins and anyone can buy it by dropping ¥100 in the slot marked “Put Money In Here.” I know that there are lots ofContinueContinue reading “The Ur-Vending Machine”