The Statue Of Too Much Liberty

LadyLiberty3

These have got to be the most awesome gacha-gacha vending machine snags of all time! These little plastic figures depict Lady Liberty morphing into “Too-Free Goddess” and assuming unseemly poses! But forget trying to blackmail her with threats to tweet her indiscretions far and wide – there are already stop-action videos up on YouTube…

The Cornholio Of Liberty

The Cornholio Of Liberty

Oh no, please tell me tea ceremony isn't going to be the new national pastime...

Oh no, please tell me tea ceremony isn’t going to be the new national pastime…

Collect 'em all! Trade 'em with your friends!

Collect ’em all! Trade ’em with your friends!

For even more weirdness, there are videos that go with each of these! They’re in Japanese, but I’ll explain what’s happening:

The kneeling Lady is the model at a photo session, and the photographer’s assistant is apologizing that because some of the crew overslept, the shoot is going to run late. She says no worries, she didn’t have any plans. He says really? I thought you were going to the Daibutsu’s group blind date meet-up. (The Daibutsu is a famous gigantic bronze statue of Buddha and a strangely appropriate match for Lady Liberty HAR.) Oh no, she remembers he’s right! She blasts off.

The Cornholio Lady is put out that the photo assistant isn’t laughing at how funny it is that she’s wearing her toga like Beavis & Butthead. She commands him to laugh, which he does, ineptly. She says she can tell he’s not really laughing, because his eyes aren’t laughing. Commands him to laugh harder. He does, and she says, “I’m not THAT funny!” and flames him with her torch.

The reclining Lady is complaining to the photo assistant that she’s tired because she was up all night at a Shibuya club. He retorts rather indignantly that the whole photo team was up all night working, so they’re tired too. Infuriated, she blasts them all with sonic sleep beams.

If you’d like to visit a Loft store the next time you’re in Tokyo, maps are on my website, The Tokyo Guide I Wish I’d Had.

Read a novel set in Tokyo

A young woman dressed as a Gothic Lolita is found dead in a car with a pair of strangers. But the more Yumi Hata learns about her friend’s death, the more she’s convinced it was murder…read more