The Statue Of Too Much Liberty


These have got to be the most awesome gacha-gacha vending machine snags of all time! These little plastic figures depict Lady Liberty morphing into “Too-Free Goddess” and assuming unseemly poses! But forget trying to blackmail her with threats to tweet her indiscretions far and wide – there are already stop-action videos up on YouTube…

The Cornholio Of Liberty
The Cornholio Of Liberty
Oh no, please tell me tea ceremony isn't going to be the new national pastime...
Oh no, please tell me tea ceremony isn’t going to be the new national pastime…
Collect 'em all! Trade 'em with your friends!
Collect ’em all! Trade ’em with your friends!

For even more weirdness, there are videos that go with each of these! They’re in Japanese, but I’ll explain what’s happening:

The kneeling Lady is the model at a photo session, and the photographer’s assistant is apologizing that because some of the crew overslept, the shoot is going to run late. She says no worries, she didn’t have any plans. He says really? I thought you were going to the Daibutsu’s group blind date meet-up. (The Daibutsu is a famous gigantic bronze statue of Buddha and a strangely appropriate match for Lady Liberty HAR.) Oh no, she remembers he’s right! She blasts off.

The Cornholio Lady is put out that the photo assistant isn’t laughing at how funny it is that she’s wearing her toga like Beavis & Butthead. She commands him to laugh, which he does, ineptly. She says she can tell he’s not really laughing, because his eyes aren’t laughing. Commands him to laugh harder. He does, and she says, “I’m not THAT funny!” and flames him with her torch.

The reclining Lady is complaining to the photo assistant that she’s tired because she was up all night at a Shibuya club. He retorts rather indignantly that the whole photo team was up all night working, so they’re tired too. Infuriated, she blasts them all with sonic sleep beams.

This series may be sold out by the time you’re next in Tokyo, but there will be plenty more to take its place! If you’d like to discover the latest, greatest gachagacha yourself, a guide to the best gachapon hunting spots in Tokyo is on my travel blog, The Tokyo Guide I Wish I’d Had. Happy hunting!

The Last Tea Bowl Thief was chosen as an Editor’s Pick for
Best Mystery, Thriller & Suspense on Amazon

For three hundred years, a missing tea bowl passes from one fortune-seeker to the next, changing the lives of all who possess it…read more

“A fascinating mix of history and mystery.” —Booklist

Jonelle Patrick writes novels set in Japan, produces the monthly e-magazine Japanagram, and blogs at Only In Japan and The Tokyo Guide I Wish I’d Had

Published by Jonelle Patrick

Writes all the Japan things.

8 thoughts on “The Statue Of Too Much Liberty

  1. Wonderful, as awlays. As it happens I’ve just arrived in Kyoto. I am fascinated by the Japanese use of the English language as a form of decoration, if you have any pointers, they would be most welcome.

      1. Thank you, according to my partner, that one is already on the plan plus a fire festival that same evening, which sounds interesting.

      2. Fire festival! Is this the one where they make a big “大”-shaped bonfire on Mt. Arashiyama? (I secretly always wanted to see that one.) Anything featuring night + lights/fire will be excellent! (((envy!)))

  2. One of my American buddies here got the sexy reclining Lady Liberty. I never knew our most famous statue had such long legs… Though I have to wonder what she’d look like if she didn’t shave them.

    1. Oh oh oh, I am SO ENVIOUS of your buddy, because that’s the one *I* wanted! I went back armed with 100 yen coins to buy as many gacha gachas as it took to get one, only to find that the machine had sold out and disappeared! (><)

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