Just Try To Toss Your Round Garbage Into My Square Garbage Bin NOW!

SquareHole

DON’T SAY I DIDN’T WARN YOU.

What is with you people?! It says right here, RIGHT ON THE RECYCLING BIN, in the kind of phonetic letters ANY SIX-YEAR-OLD should be able to handle:

P A P E R    P A C K

Does that say “plastic” to you? Seriously, people, read the sign. This bin is for square paper packs ONLY. Not bottles, not cans, and sure as hell not that used coffee cup you’re hiding there, I SEE YOU, yeah, there, behind your newspaper. You think you can sneak it into my recycling bin EVEN THOUGH YOU KNOW IT’S GARBAGE! Well think again, you slippery conniving commuter! I’m going to tape the openings in this bin so NOTHING BUT CARTONS FROM MY VENDING MACHINE can be stuffed into the little holes.

Just to be clear, here’s a picture. These are the ONLY kinds of containers allowed in this bin, get it?

PaperPack

Okay. Righteous. Looks good. Maybe some more tape for good measure. And some more. There.

Just try and put the wrong kid of trash in this bin NOW, sucker.

Jonelle Patrick writes novels set in Tokyo

A young woman dressed as a Gothic Lolita is found dead in a car with two strangers. But the more Yumi Hata learns about her friend’s death, the more she’s convinced it was murder…read more