Jonelle Patrick's Only In Japan
Every day, stuff you'd never see anywhere else.
Tokyo Metro’s subway safety posters always crack me up, because they all seem to be earnestly designed by Captain Obvious, but this one actually made me laugh with it, not at it. I mean DUH you’d … Continue Reading Subway Safety For Rockabillies
I never expected to be ambushed by cuteness at a highway rest stop bathroom, but check out this tiny toilet for tots!（≧∇≦） • Read a novel set in Tokyo…
Warning: when you’re in Japan, be careful never to say, “Just bite me!” because THIS might happen. If you walk out of the Tokyo Midtown exit of Roppongi Station right now, you too can … Continue Reading Suddenly, Godzilla!
So, today as I wandered around the Sunshine City Aquarium, I couldn’t help but overhear a few conversations between my fellow fish enthusiasts. • When not eavesdropping on Japanese peoples’ … Continue Reading What Japanese People Talk About At The Aquarium
Ahahahaha, Heintz Japan for the win! (Hey, so I ran out of stuff to read at dinner (><) SHUT UP!) • Read a novel set in Tokyo
So, you know how Everycountry has an Everyman and Everywoman? Well, in Japan, its… • Read a novel set in Tokyo
…is definitely going to be a Shoe Car. I hope they come in pink. • Read a novel set in Tokyo…
So, can you even believe this? If someone came to Sister Jonelle’s Confessional and admitted that they’d OKed building a honkin’ big expressway right over the Nihonbashi Bridge, I’d pretty much tell … Continue Reading Mortal Sins Of Urban Planning
So, yesterday I’m walking around, and suddenly I encounter a Sidewalk Whale. My theory about this little-known hazard of Ningyo-cho is that it tends to happen on Fridays, when they surface to … Continue Reading Suddenly…A Whale
You know how it goes when a VIP comes to town: streets unexpectedly blocked, swarms of shifty-eyed men in dark suits with little curly wires in their ears, cavalcades of … Continue Reading Japanese Invent A New Way For VIP Visits To Annoy The Populace
Went to robot restaurant. Missed last train. Left camera in cab. Noooo! Although I would rather drink poisonous dried snake tea, have my feet eaten by small brown fish, or … Continue Reading Lost
Every convenience store in Japan sells clothes. Emergency clothes. Say you missed the last train home and have to prop yourself in a comic book café cubicle all night, then … Continue Reading Emergency Funeral Tie
In The Land of Group Harmony, doing things by yourself is almost un-Japanese. But because Japan is also the country which offers a hot spring resort for dogs, a store … Continue Reading Forever Alone: Japan Version
Picture this. It’s a quiet Monday night in January. Usually the hosts who work in the Zero Group’s bars would be giving their hair a much-needed rest, kicking back to … Continue Reading The Annual Host Convention!
Gourmet food trucks: sooo last year! Bring on the cocktail truck! What could be more festive than a van dispensing libations to thirsty holiday shoppers on the streets of Shibuya? … Continue Reading The Cocktail Truck
I’d have to say that going on a two-day bus tour to the Ise Shrine has to rank right up there with staying overnight at a comic book café and … Continue Reading The Japanese Bus Tour: A Cultural Experience of Epic Proportions
If you can’t lie face down on the rug, the train station platform is the next best thing. And at least at Korakuen Station, you can pass out on a … Continue Reading Why, Japan, Why?
In Japan, sadly, one of the most classic ways to say, “Goodbye, cruel world” is to throw oneself in front of a train. But this not only traumatizes your family … Continue Reading Are Meguro Line Sardines Really More Depressed Than Toyoko Line Sardines?
If ever there was an organization in need of an international focus group, it would be the association in charge of coming up with a mascot to promote the products … Continue Reading Mascot Fail
Wandering the grounds at Hikone Castle, I came across this curious little box on a post. It had cards, it had a writing shelf, it had a slot for depositing … Continue Reading Break Glass In Case Of Poetry
Nork, Nork, come here! I found a box of earthling foodstuff! See? Universal Translator says it’s a “banana fruit.” No, Derp, you dope. A Diamond Banana is made of pure … Continue Reading Aliens Analyze Japanese Condom Packaging
Aieee, I went to eat sushi last night and I have to admit, I was peering at the tuna anxiously for signs it might glow on the dark if they … Continue Reading Glow-in-the-Dark Sushi?
I always wonder…what kind of company has it’s headquarters in this Shinjuku skyscraper? If you’d like to visit Shinjuku the next time you’re in Tokyo, pix & info are on my website, … Continue Reading The Puzzle Building
I guess all over the world, little islands of warmth and light attract the nighthawks for a cuppa and some companionship. I chanced across this Hopper-esque scene while taking pictures … Continue Reading Tokyo Nighthawks
After putting in a long day destroying Tokyo, Godzilla and his fellow kaiju can take a short stroll to Chiba and order their whisky & sodas at the Katsuura fish market, where … Continue Reading Godzilla’s Ice Cube
It’s still rainy season in Tokyo, but that just means more opportunities to take beautiful pictures at night! Here’s Tokyo’s beloved orange replica of the Eiffel Tower, shining through the … Continue Reading Tokyo Tower, On A Rainy Night
Weather reports in Japan are far more useful than weather reports where I come from: they tell you whether you ought to do laundry or not. Because few people have … Continue Reading Rain, With A Chance Of Laundry
Next time you wake up and feel like you’ve died and gone to hell, spend an hour sleeping off that mandatory company drinking party in an oxygen-filled hangover coffin! You’ll … Continue Reading Hangover Coffins: Rent ‘Em By The Hour
The baggage sling under the stroller belonging to the family I saw on the train the other day wasn’t carrying diapers or baby food or extra clothes or toys. Just … Continue Reading Emergency Parenting Supplies
OMG. Did we order THAT? We did. I didn’t expect the Cream Puff Tower to be so…towering Or feature so many tiny pirate swords. How do … Continue Reading Try Eating THIS After Three Beers
Okay, this sign actually reads “Don’t Give Food To The Pigeons!” but it goes on to give a rather elaborate rationale for withholding bread crumbs from the little beggars. It … Continue Reading Pooping On Laundry Prohibited!
I was walking around the Decks shopping complex in Odaiba, and suddenly, MONKEY SHOW. Seriously. Right in the middle of the mall. A monkey show. Of course, trained monkeys have … Continue Reading Monkey Business
It’s rainy season in Tokyo right now. But the steamy, gray, days turn into magical warm nights, the pavement shining like a river of melted neon… • “A wonderful blend … Continue Reading Tokyo Streets At Night, Shining In The Rain
Check this out. I totally have the cleanest trash in all the land. If I lived in America, (this would be some weird parallel universe America that has the same … Continue Reading My Beautiful Handwashed Trash
It’s amazing that a Japanese train ticket machine has never been in the running when it’s time to elect a new pope, because they are about as close to infallible … Continue Reading Job Description: Wizard of Oz
By day, the Sumida River is a busy thoroughfare of boats and ferries, but at night it turns into a magical sea of sparkles. If you’d like to ride the … Continue Reading The Sumida River At Night
After you’ve climbed the north face of Everest, surfed the 50-footers at Mavericks, and helicopter boarded the Eyjafjallajokull volcano, what’s left for next year’s Golden Week? Sadly, you discover that your … Continue Reading Kayak The Untamed Canals Of Tokyo!
See those guys in blue uniforms? Their job is to stand there like human bollards until the massive crush dies down, making sure the mob getting off the inhumanly packed … Continue Reading Wanted: Human Shield And Occasional Apologizer
Yessiree, right now, every train station and airport is thronged with flocks of schoolkids, going on class trips to distant educational hot spots! Peak season for these multi-day Educational Experiences … Continue Reading It’s Raining Schoolkids!
What’s that suspicious foreign mannequin doing, slouching around behind the trashcans in this Kappabashi store? You can tell by his mustache he’s up to no good. And what about the … Continue Reading Lurking Foreign Mannequins
Ahahaha, I bet you thought tanukis were the stuff of Japanese legends – crafty tricksters with notoriously large cojones who play pranks on gullible humans – but it turns out … Continue Reading Real Live Tanuki Sighting!
Recently my train line – the Toyoko-sen – was tragically re-routed through Shibuya station to make way for five long years of renovation on the circling-the-drain Tokyu Department Store. The … Continue Reading Beer Terminal!
I’d whipped out my camera to capture some arty-farty reflections of the Shibuya neon on cabs stuck at a traffic light, and when I looked at the display YOWZERS there … Continue Reading I Thought I’d Seen Tricked-Out Cars, But…!
Wow, people were totally troll-size back in the days before homogenized vitamin D milk! Check out the tiny gate in this old wall! No, wait. Then why is there an … Continue Reading What’s With The Tiny Door?
In Kabuki-chō, the day starts when the sun goes down. The streets are thronged with those who are looking for a good time, and those who are looking to provide … Continue Reading Tokyo At Night: Kabuki-chō
Wandering around the Denpo-in garden the other day, I spied this rock. Why did it have twine tied around it like that? It’s a biter, so it needs a muzzle? … Continue Reading Rock Bondage
Tokyo isn’t a beautiful city by day, but at night it’s transformed into a glittering jewel. This is the view from Odaiba, as the dinner boats set off down the … Continue Reading Tokyo At Night: Odaiba
The head is the best part. Or so I was told by the ayu vendor at the Yasukuni shrine. My new pet fish-on-a-stick looked too big to be eaten whole, but … Continue Reading The Head Is The Best Part
• Read a novel set in Tokyo…
When I first moved to my neighborhood, I marveled at how the commuter bikes near my train station were all lined up at a perfect 30 degree angle, with no … Continue Reading Bike Parking Vigilantes
