…get thee to the closest Tokyu Hands and get your paws on some Natamame toothpaste! It claims to smite your bad breath in four different flavors: Rose, Aloe (does aloe have a flavor?), Persimmon and Bamboo Charcoal. Yes, the black kind. Even stranger, guess what this toothpaste is made from? Sword beans! Bad breath, IContinueContinue reading “For Charcoal-Fresh Breath…”
Category Archives: Made In Japan
Wooden Origami
Craving a cherry crane or a pine penguin? Or maybe you’ve always wanted to fold a walnut helmet! Yep, this origami is actually made from paper-thin slices of wood! You can get your very own pack of super sheer veneer from (where else?) Tokyu Hands, on the lumber floor. (It has always amazed me thatContinueContinue reading “Wooden Origami”
Street Fightin’ Yakuza Action Figures
More than meets the eye! For hours of happy crime spree play, nothing can beat the thug rangers! Your platinum-haired chinpira will pinch Barbie’s car before she can squeal “math is hard,” the mirror-shaded loan shark can hit Ken up anytime, anywhere, for that gambling debt plus interest, and even GI Joe had better watch outContinueContinue reading “Street Fightin’ Yakuza Action Figures”
Piggy Zapper
If you should happen to find yourself out behind the barn sneaking a smoke with someone who is suddenly so repugnant that you want to taser them, Don Kihote has the perfect product for you! The Piggy Lighter That Also Shocks! As an added bonus, its nose extends to Pinocchio-like proportions in order to deliverContinueContinue reading “Piggy Zapper”
In Case You Were Confused, This Toy Is Not For Girls
Girls Keep Out! Between Pretend You Work As a Burger Flipper to Fun With Laundry And Ironing, you’ve got plenty of playthings to keep you busy. The Drill Set Of Manliness is just for boys! Yes, for less than ¥2000, youthful males can get their dudeitude on with this Super Robot Chogokin toy, complete with two (countContinueContinue reading “In Case You Were Confused, This Toy Is Not For Girls”
31 Flavors Of…Toothpaste?
Yes, this one tastes like Indian Curry! Now you can fight cavities and have curry-fresh breath too, with this new line of Breath Palette flavored toothpaste! With thirty-one strange flavors to choose from, your teeth can sparkle with a different one each day for a month. Get yourself some righteous morning coffee breath with CaféContinueContinue reading “31 Flavors Of…Toothpaste?”
Top Ten Only In Japan Holiday Gifts 2013
10. I bet the person on your list who has everything doesn’t have a THOUSAND DOLLAR RICE COOKER! It doesn’t slice, dice, or clean up the kitchen for you, but it does feature a cooking liner precision-milled from a single block of steel, for the ultimate in perfect heat distribution! Seen at: Yodabashi Camera, AkihabaraContinueContinue reading “Top Ten Only In Japan Holiday Gifts 2013”
More Acts Of Santa Blasphemy
Yes, when it comes to taking license with the jolly old elf, nobody can beat Tokyu Hands! For all your crossdressing Santa needs Someone must have pointed out that last year’s Black Santa Manteau wasn’t especially traditional, so they decided to offer a red version this year. •
The Dog Sandwich Vending Machine
Try your luck at this vending machine and you might get a Chihuahuaffle! Or a Corgi Cornet! Or a Filet O’ Pug! Litte. Plastic. Sandwiches. With dogs in them. Wat. Or, most horrible of all, the Fried Shiba Sandwich! •
Porta-Bidet To The Rescue!
“For men AND women.” Because everybody needs a spanking clean oshiri! Penetrate even the most robo-toilet deficient corners of the globe with confidence, now that you can travel with your magic bottom-washing wand! Just crank it onto a pet bottle full of water (or fill the slightly cumbersome plastic reservoir with local H2O), aim that bad boy,ContinueContinue reading “Porta-Bidet To The Rescue!”
“What May I Pick Up For You, Master Of The House?”
Now anyone can be All-Master-All-The-Time with these maid-themed chopsticks from Tokyu Hands! While they may not be too ace at drawing cat whiskers on your ome-rice, you can probably beat them with great regularity at Jenga… •
Hey, It’s Sushi O’Clock!
Best. Purchase. Ever. How many ways do I love Kappabashi, the street where Tokyo restaurants go to shop? If you’d like to visit Kappabashi Street the next time you’re in Tokyo, visit my website, The Tokyo Guide I Wish I’d Had. •
Slightly Creepy, And Yet…
Solve the perennial problem of having to listen to the life story of the ex-schoolteacher from Peoria on your next flight out of Tokyo by donning one of these luridly realistic eye masks! Choose from Unblinking Mass Murderer, Flight Panic Stare, Mad Scientist Who Is Looking For Subjects For His Next Experiment, Loony Bin Escapee,ContinueContinue reading “Slightly Creepy, And Yet…”
What The Well-Dressed Suitcase Is Wearing This Season
Now your bag doesn’t have to travel naked anymore, thanks to these fashionable luggage togs I saw recently at Shibuya Loft! Made of stretchy knits that zip up snugly around your suitcase, they not only prevent the contents from exploding all over some distant baggage claim in a case of Dreaded Latch Failure, they’ll alsoContinueContinue reading “What The Well-Dressed Suitcase Is Wearing This Season”
The Boyfriend Of Your Dreams For Only $70!
He doesn’t leave his socks on the floor, he doesn’t hog the remote, and he doesn’t snore! But when you close your eyes and wrap your arms around your full-body-size hunk of burnin’ love and plug in your earphones, he’ll lull you to sleep by whispering sweet nothings in your ear! You’ll never have toContinueContinue reading “The Boyfriend Of Your Dreams For Only $70!”
What’s Long & Skinny And Not What You Think It Is?
Hey, I was visiting the Togenuki Jizo and I got you a present. Wow, thanks. What is it? Guess. Oh no. On second thought, I don’t want it. It’s something weird, I just know it. It’s not weird! I swear, after you try it, you won’t be able to live without it. What’s this writingContinueContinue reading “What’s Long & Skinny And Not What You Think It Is?”
Doggie Diner
Even pooches who haven’t perfected the essential Sad Begging Face can score doggie-licious snacks at the Dog Department café! No trying to choose which knee might belong to the most sympathetic diner, no patient waiting for a gravity-assisted food mishap – all that lucky canines have to do is order off the menu! Choose fromContinueContinue reading “Doggie Diner”
Radio Control Toilet
Yes, now you can level up your toilet game with this revolutionary R/C controller! We’re assured right on the package that it can be used by men OR women in a lavatory fight to the death: because even though men might dominate when it comes to putting up the seat, we know women utterly ruleContinueContinue reading “Radio Control Toilet”
What Apartment Doesn’t Need A Little Castle-like Ambience?
Waltz into this schwanky interior design store in Gotanda and walk out with a life-size replica of Arthurian-looking armor! Take your new buddy home on the train! Surely it’s just the welcoming touch your home was needing. (Also note that it comes in mini-knight size, in case you have mini-apartment size digs.) •
Nyan-tastic Cat Wares!
Catnip tea? Yes, please! I knew Kappabashi was the acme of destinations for obscure kitchenware and plastic food models, but it turns out they’ve got killer nyan-ware too! Next Christmas I bet Santa will fork over everything on my list when he sees that I left out nyancat cookies instead of boring old reindeer! Too hardContinueContinue reading “Nyan-tastic Cat Wares!”
Hmm, Today I Think I’ll Do A Little Body Piercing…
That’s right, these little beauties are SELF-PIERCERS! How many ways can I say OW?! And even though the “birthstone” earring included suggests they are for 13-year-old girls, the store that sold them in the Magnet by 109 building specialized in jewelry that wasn’t exactly made for earlobes. How do I pierce thee? Let me countContinueContinue reading “Hmm, Today I Think I’ll Do A Little Body Piercing…”
The Miso Muddler And Other Obscure Kitchen Tools
I laughed when I saw that there was a special tool you could plunge into a tub of miso, twirl it around to get exactly one bowl’s worth of fermented soybean paste into the little ball, then use the muddler to whisk it into your soup. And then, of course, I bought one. Because actually, ifContinueContinue reading “The Miso Muddler And Other Obscure Kitchen Tools”
Cherry Blossoms for Geeks
Which one of these traditional Japanese tenugui hand towels is not like the others? Hint: it’s the one with the poem that reads: “One of these is small, but he stubbornly heads toward his goal, The other changes direction according to how the wind is blowing…” •
For All Your Crossdressing Costume Needs
Now a guy no longer has to waste hours in front of the mirror, practicing lying to the cashier at Tokyu Hands that he’s buying that sparkly pink Power Ranger dress for his girlfriend! This product is clearly labeled BOY RANGER (with the helpful subtitle “BOYS” beneath, written in phonetic katakana for the kanji-challenged customer).ContinueContinue reading “For All Your Crossdressing Costume Needs”
Coffin Nails For Lefties
Were the lion of the Cuban Revolución to make a little posthumous visit to Japan from Guerilla Heaven, he might be surprised (and possibly more than a little outraged) to find himself shilling for cigarettes from beyond the grave! At least they’re a nice Marxist red. •
Rude Gnomes
As a sort of matter/anti-matter reaction to the See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil Gnomes, the same artist presents the F U Gnome. The Xmas-seasonal appearance of these, er, art objects suggests there has been continuing elf/dwarf/gnome cross-cultural confusion with regard to Santa and his workforce. I admit I’m quite curious aboutContinueContinue reading “Rude Gnomes”
Top Ten Only In Japan Holiday Gifts 2012!
10. For the film maven on your list who camped overnight in line at the movie theatre to see the new Evangelion…ANIME EYES SLEEP MASKS (seen at Village Vanguard) When the anime-lover in your life hears herself described as a person who even dreams in CGI, now she can smugly respond, “Like a BOSS!” Seen atContinueContinue reading “Top Ten Only In Japan Holiday Gifts 2012!”
Beauty Help For Men
Unibrow isn’t a big problem here in Japan, but what’s an “herbivore man” to do when the furry bits above his eyes aren’t up to the esthé standard of his glowing skin and artfully styled hair? Eyebrow Template for Men to the rescue! Try on Straight, Natural or Cool styles, comb the unrulies up withContinueContinue reading “Beauty Help For Men”
Veggie Boys vs. Carnivore Men
“Cool? Cute? Sexy? Macho? Whatever you want to be, boys have to have clean face.” This VegeBoy face wash comes with its own boyish hairband, to keep the carefully groomed tresses dry during use! I guess it was inevitable: the species of Japanese males who have come to be known as “grass-eating men” (sōshoku danshi) nowContinueContinue reading “Veggie Boys vs. Carnivore Men”
Dieting Made Easy
If you’ve been searching for a miracle diet that’s guaranteed to make you eat less – or not at all! – at every meal, your quest for the holy grail has ended! Introducing the “Curry Plate Of Shape Of Toilet.” Yes, this white porcelain plate is a perfect replica of a Japanese squat-style toilet. PairedContinueContinue reading “Dieting Made Easy”
What’s Green and Crunchy and Not The Flavor You Think It Is?
Okay, I know it’s not green tea. I’m not even going to waste a guess saying it might be green tea. Wait, why? Because in Japan most cookies and cakes and other things that ought not ever to be green (except on St. Patrick’s day) are green tea flavor. I’m not saying it’s right, butContinueContinue reading “What’s Green and Crunchy and Not The Flavor You Think It Is?”
Gnomes Of Enlightenment
See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil… Does that include thinking uncharitable thoughts when you see a foreign blond guy trying to rock a Japanese 2-block haircut? Or hating on the person in the upstairs apartment who seems to be hard of hearing and really really really likes enka music? Inquiring gnomes wantContinueContinue reading “Gnomes Of Enlightenment”
Costumes I Would Regret Even Thinking Of Wearing
What IS this? A rare species of face-eating nudibranch? A faded map of the 18th hole at Pebble Beach? No! It’s a fake five o’clock shadow! This is an especially spectacular career-inhibitor if the costume-wearing prankster is a woman! Long, long after you reach what would have been retirement age if you’d ever been ableContinueContinue reading “Costumes I Would Regret Even Thinking Of Wearing”
Do It Yourself…Acupuncture?
Wow, one can only imagine the mischief some extreme DIYer might get into with this handy plastic head from Village Vanguard. It helpfully details all the points on your head and face where you can poke yourself with sharp needles to cure what ails you. If you see your mom come home with one ofContinueContinue reading “Do It Yourself…Acupuncture?”
Costumes I Would Regret, Part Deux
Nothing says Career Killer like a shot of your grinning face leering at the camera from inside a beer mask, two-fisting some brewskies! Tokyu Hands once again comes through with a costume that makes you think, “Snap! I don’t even have to dress up!” but ends up producing dozens of eminently uploadable candids for everyone’s internet-viewingContinueContinue reading “Costumes I Would Regret, Part Deux”
Mommy, When I Grow Up, I Want To Be A Burger Flipper!
So, what does it say about Japanese society that five years ago the toy store shelves were filled with make-your-own squid ink popcorn, fancy jello desserts and sushi rolls that look like Anpan Man, but now the big seller is “Let’s pretend we work at MosBurger”? This is the traditional version of “I want toContinueContinue reading “Mommy, When I Grow Up, I Want To Be A Burger Flipper!”
Your Very Own Electronic Monk!
Tired of petitioning the Powers That Be every day for world peace, a winning lottery ticket, and for them to still have your size when those purple Fluevog boots you desperately want go on sale? Rest easy! Now you can let the Electronic Monk do your chanting for you! You’re just a couple of AAContinueContinue reading “Your Very Own Electronic Monk!”
The Sorcerer’s Apprentice Moves On To Cooking
If only I could instruct various ingredients to assemble themselves into yum-looking dishes like this with a wave of my magic wand! (Hint, hint, Xmas wish list: MAGIC WAND) Saw these at the plastic food model store where I learned how to make tempura and lettuce last December. And in case you’re wondering about theContinueContinue reading “The Sorcerer’s Apprentice Moves On To Cooking”
Take That, Forces Of Dampness!
Only in Japan would a lack of balconies spawn a whole new category of appliances. Behold the futon dryer! Used to be, you could walk down any neighborhood street mid-day and see every family’s bedding hung over the balcony to air, secured with giant plastic clamps so they wouldn’t slip off the railing and smotherContinueContinue reading “Take That, Forces Of Dampness!”
Food Fight!
SHA-KINNNN! Take that, filet o’mignon! Mika Tsutai’s manga design plates take cafeteria battles to a whole new level. Designed so the food becomes the hero in every frame, every meal is an adventure. “Aaaaaa!” Down the hatch, himono fish! “Sha-kinn!” Another granola bar bites the dust “Do…!” Fried shrimpy bits fight back Tuna, The ChosenContinueContinue reading “Food Fight!”
Portaflush
Suddenly, you find yourself in a primitive public bathroom not equipped with a Sound Princess! What are you going to do to cover up unseemly noises, without wasting gallons and gallons of water? Eco-oto to the rescue! Now you can make loud flushing sounds anytime, anywhere, from your very own mobile phone! The first timeContinueContinue reading “Portaflush”
The Ashlet
With a play on words that’s appreciated by everyone in Japan who has used Toto’s legendary Washlet toilet, behold the Ashlet! While sadly lacking an exhaust fan like the genuine Washlet, it does have a cigarette-extinguishing bidet function, and gives cigarette smokers a handy place to um, park their butts. Saw these at the Village Vanguard store inContinueContinue reading “The Ashlet”
Tattoo Disguise
From this display at a trendy shop near Nakano Broadway, you’d think there was an epidemic of tennis elbow going around the yanqi-ish young men prone to wearing leopard fur accessories and clothing emblazoned with Our Lady of Rude Kustoms. In fact, this particular demographic tends to have something to hide, especially in summertime. Tattoos. DuringContinueContinue reading “Tattoo Disguise”
Blood Type Wine
If I’d seen this anywhere but Japan, I’d think I’d stumbled into Transylvania, but here, nearly everybody posts their blood type on their Facebook profiles alongside their closest train station, and when asked “What’s your type?” by someone they just met at a drinking party, they know the answer isn’t, “Tall, dark and handsome.” The questionContinueContinue reading “Blood Type Wine”
Magic Umbrella
Yesterday when my phone’s weather app completely failed to warn me that as soon as I stepped off the train I would be assailed with buckets of rain and Dorothy-Goes-To-Oz wind, I could have used this fine product. It’s plain pink until it gets wet, then the cherry blossom pattern appears! (Brilliant display outside thisContinueContinue reading “Magic Umbrella”
New Weapon In The Battle Against Napping
Napping: destroyer of productivity, enemy of extreme road trips, scourge of procrastinators who left that six-month project until the night before! Fortunately, those tempted to catch a few winks when they ought to be contributing to global productivity now have the Nap Vieeb, a revolutionary product that will keep them alert long enough to dieContinueContinue reading “New Weapon In The Battle Against Napping”
If You’re Going To Nuke Your Donut, Do It In Style
Recently there’s been a craze for hot donuts here in Tokyo, but people can only cram so many into their pieholes while sitting in the store. What about the dozen they’re taking home to fatten up their friends and family? Enter the dedicated donut zapping case! In the land where perfection is prized, Krispy KremeContinueContinue reading “If You’re Going To Nuke Your Donut, Do It In Style”
Chair Socks
Today while I was waiting for my watch to be repaired at Seibu Loft, I spent some time browsing the ever-entertaining household product section. I saw these, and my first thought was, WTF, *chair socks*? Little argyle chair socks? Apparently you put them on the bottoms of your chair legs so they slide easily onContinueContinue reading “Chair Socks”
Superhero Hats For Bank Robbers
The next time I want to rob a bank (or stay out a little past the advisable bedtime and wake up with dark circles no coverup can hide and hair that refuses to look anything but hideous), I’m going to be ready with my combination Spiderman-mask-and-fishing hat. •
Can I Please Have The Red-Hot Pincers Instead?
I have no idea what these dried insect skins are supposed to cure, but whatever it is, I hope I never get it! I saw these in the window of a traditional pharmacy, along with equally unsavory dried worms, fungus and what I hope were roots, but could easily have been something with a farContinueContinue reading “Can I Please Have The Red-Hot Pincers Instead?”
Only In Japan 