Piggy Zapper

PigLighter

If you should happen to find yourself out behind the barn sneaking a smoke with someone who is suddenly so repugnant that you want to taser them, Don Kihote has the perfect product for you! The Piggy Lighter That Also Shocks! As an added bonus, its nose extends to Pinocchio-like proportions in order to deliver both flames and electric zapping at a comfortable and safe distance.

And in case you don’t want anyone to guess you’re toting a device capable of delivering an unpleasant zap, it also comes in an attractive keychain model…

PigPendant

Beware the Nostrils of Death!

Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix. Don’t make her mad.