See the little straw mats wrapped around the trunks of these trees? They aren’t to keep the pines from catching cold, they’re old-fashioned pesticide! In the wintertime, insects crawl down from the branches and burrow into the temptingly warm straw mats, which are wrapped tightly at the bottom and loosely at the top. Congratulating themselvesContinueContinue reading “Diabolically Simple Pest Control”
Author Archives: Jonelle Patrick
Thumbnail Art for Men
Nail art: not just for girls anymore! Apparently, this competition was mostly about who could turn their male models’ hands into paragons of nail buffitude, but then there are the…thumbs. The cartoon art would barely rate an eyebrow twitch, but what would your co-workers think if you turned up sporting that little gold dragon at theContinueContinue reading “Thumbnail Art for Men”
Happy Obligation Day
Okay, first of all, a dozen black roses to whoever decided women do all the giving on V-Day in Japan. They tried to band-aid over this egregious error by creating White Day on March 14 (on which men are supposed to triple-return the favor) but all that really did was create more giri-choco. Yes, ObligationContinueContinue reading “Happy Obligation Day”
The Garbage Police Strike Again!
Remember how I was stressing about not putting out the five different arcane types of garbage correctly? Well, this is what happens if you screw up! Your trash is shamefully left behind with big colorful notes on it to tell you what you did wrong! The yellow note says that the kind of trash inContinueContinue reading “The Garbage Police Strike Again!”
Smoke With Abandon, All Ye Who Enter Here
The Blue Windy Lounge is about as close to a smoker’s paradise as you can get: comfy seats, fine ventilation, vending machines stocked with your favorite smokes if you need a top-up, no cover charge and best of all, nobody glaring at you as though your presence were shortening their lives! For years, Asia has beenContinueContinue reading “Smoke With Abandon, All Ye Who Enter Here”
Cola Beer and Other Cocktail Delights
Saw these advertised outside an izakaya in Ikebukuro last weekend. For your happy hour entertainment: RED EYE: Beer + tomato juice SHANDY GAFF: Beer + ginger ale DOUBLE BERRY: Beer + cassis + cranberry PEACH HEART: Beer + shō-chū + white peach ROYAL YEBISU: Beer + royal jelly + lemon honey DOUBLE BLACK: Dark beer +ContinueContinue reading “Cola Beer and Other Cocktail Delights”
No Wonder Everybody Hates English
Japanese game shows are famous for testing just how much abuse people will take in front of an audience, but this one truly raises the bar! I mean, what kind of masochists sign up to have their English corrected on prime time TV? Here three hapless contestants must step up in front of the worthy professorsContinueContinue reading “No Wonder Everybody Hates English”
I Guess They Ran Out of Girl Mannequins
Walking through my local Daiei, I thought there was something a little funny about the display in front of the elementary school book bags. Sure enough, the “girl” in the faux private school uniform definitely got drafted from the boys’ department. Maybe they wanted to ride the cosplay theme set by the anime-style mannequins usedContinueContinue reading “I Guess They Ran Out of Girl Mannequins”
Party Bodhisattva
Just because you’re a bodhisattva and charged with the un-small task of looking after children and travelers doesn’t mean you never get to kick off your sandals and party. This O-Jizo-sama at Zōjōji temple is ready to blow out the candles on his birthday cake (although he might need help, considering there would be over 1500 ofContinueContinue reading “Party Bodhisattva”
Industrial-Strength Exorcism in Three Easy Steps
Today, in honor of Setsubun, allow me to divulge the time-honored Japanese method for getting rid of all your demons! 1: First, you need beans Soybeans. Roasted ones. These are for throwing at the oldest male member of your family, who will be wearing a demon mask for the occasion. The demon must be peltedContinueContinue reading “Industrial-Strength Exorcism in Three Easy Steps”
Goldilocks & The Three Beers
Now even lightweights can put away a sixpack, thanks to these mini-size brewskis! In Japan, there’s a beer for every size thirst: papa, mama, and baby. •
Politeness Battle Royale
No Japanese game show would be complete without punishment for the losers! In Max Keigo, the impolite are beaten about the head and shoulders by a diabolical robot boss. Yes, it’s a Japanese game show that pits teams of quick-witted experts against each other to see who can be more…HONORIFIC! If you’ve ever studied Japanese,ContinueContinue reading “Politeness Battle Royale”
Steel-Toed Construction Slippers
Okay, I was kidding about the steel toes, but not about the slippers. This is a construction site I passed today in Hiroo. Not taking off your shoes when you enter someone’s house here feels as weird as not taking off your clothes before you step in the shower, and that even goes for constructionContinueContinue reading “Steel-Toed Construction Slippers”
Time For a Nice Bowl of Intestine Soup
Forget the Clearasil and dumpster the Oil of Olay. My friend Hiro tells me that all I have to do to have beautiful skin is eat lots of motsunabe. Apparently, Japanese women have eaten pig intestines for ages, chasing the perfect creamy complexion. On a cold winter night, the bubbling pot of motsunabe turned out toContinueContinue reading “Time For a Nice Bowl of Intestine Soup”
Battle of the Titans
Before the match begins, the wrestlers parade into the ring and perform a ritual salute. Yesterday I was invited to watch Day 14 of the January sumo tournament from my friend Mitsuko’s box, which was so close to the ring we could see the expressions on the wrestlers’ faces but not so close that 400 pounds ofContinueContinue reading “Battle of the Titans”
How to Glue Your Eyelids
I’ve always wondered how to use eyelid glue. I knew it was a prime tool in the make-up kits of Japanese gyaru seeking that perfect babydoll look, but never understood just how it worked. Then I discovered this handy guide in Kera magazine! Basically, “Western” eyelids have a deep fold above them and Japanese eyes don’t.ContinueContinue reading “How to Glue Your Eyelids”
Pizza of…France?
And what could be more French than a pizza topped with five types of cheese, broccoli, red peppers, demiglace sauce and beef stew? You won’t need a glass of red to wash it down with, because apparently, wine has already been liberally added. The decorative squirts of cream cheese were a nice coup de grâce,ContinueContinue reading “Pizza of…France?”
Lavender Leopard Fur Mantilla
I’m not sure how I’ve lived this long without this fashion forward accessory. Seems like it would go with pretty much everything. And if I hadn’t consulted Kera magazine, I wouldn’t know that my leather jacket has been crying out for a pair of Hammer pants. These black and white striped fake fur ones willContinueContinue reading “Lavender Leopard Fur Mantilla”
The World’s Tiniest Forest
And the most convenient! If you owned this little grove, you wouldn’t have to take countless trains and buses to enjoy some natural splendor because you could just keep it in your room. I was wandering around the other day, waiting for my boots to be repaired at the Matsuya Ginza store and I chanced uponContinueContinue reading “The World’s Tiniest Forest”
This Will Never Be On My Grocery List
I was browsing the meat section at my local super the other night, trying to get some inspiration for dinner, when I noticed it must be shirako season. Have to say, that fact didn’t help me much with my meal planning, since I pretty much never get a craving for fish testicles. While I have eatenContinueContinue reading “This Will Never Be On My Grocery List”
Coming-Of-Age in the New Age
On Tuesday this lovely maiden in traditional dress undoubtedly went back to looking like the girl in the beanie, but Monday was Coming-Of-Age Day here in Japan, and even though kimono wearing has pretty much disappeared at other times of year, the shrines were packed with 20-year-old girls in all the trimmings. One of the reasonsContinueContinue reading “Coming-Of-Age in the New Age”
Mitarashi Donut
On the left, observe that irresistible staple of Japanese festival snackdom, mitarashi dango: a skewer of gooey rice balls slathered in salty-sweet goodness. On the right, Mister Donut’s homage, the mitarashi donut: a ring of fried dough, dripping with that very same salty-sweet sauce. Sadly, they don’t come skewered three to a stick. •
Look Like a Host In One Easy Makeover!
My all-time favorite magazine Men’s Knuckle sent an intrepid team of stylists to Kabuki-chō to perform makeovers on young men they thought could use some help achieving that irresistible host club look. Look & learn at the feet of the masters! Let’s face it – this guy looked hopelessly normal before the stylists pointed himContinueContinue reading “Look Like a Host In One Easy Makeover!”
Gray is the New Blonde
Even weirder than the trend of wearing black rimmed glasses without any lenses is the phenomenon of young Japanese dyeing their hair gray. I’ve seen most of these in Shibuya, so it might be confined to outliers who’ve already cycled through red, blonde, pink, blue, and purple. Maybe gray is the only color that’s safeContinueContinue reading “Gray is the New Blonde”
Feeling Lucky?
The Listen Flavor sales staff working hard to move the special New Year’s backpacks filled with mystery goods January 2nd used to be known as one of the few times the public was allowed behind the walls of the Imperial Palace to see the emperor, but these days you’ll find everyone under 30 jamming theContinueContinue reading “Feeling Lucky?”
Celebrating New Year’s, Japanese Style
When I made my hatsumōde (first shrine visit of the year) to the Nezu Shrine this morning, it did not disappoint. New Year’s is observed with all kinds of traditions in Japan, but none were more entertaining than this troupe of beautiful women taiko drummers. They make it look easy, but taiko drumming is a workout thatContinueContinue reading “Celebrating New Year’s, Japanese Style”
I Would Not Want To Be That Rice
It wouldn’t be New Years in Japan without pounding down a stomach-full of mochi, and who better to bludgeon the rice into sticky submission than a cadre of sumo wrestlers? Today I watched as six mighty sumo-sans took turns wielding the mallet and flipping the doughy mass so no grain escaped the hammer of doom. ThisContinueContinue reading “I Would Not Want To Be That Rice”
Tuna Messenger
So…how DO you get a 300 pound frozen tuna back to your shop on the other side of Tokyo if you don’t have a truck? I guess you can’t really take it on the subway… •
The Virtual Cemetery
The Eternal Use Virtual Grave fits a peculiar need in Japan. With fewer people marrying and having children, the number of people who are the last in their family lines is increasing. In Japan, this is especially sad, because not only does this leave you without anyone to organize your periodic death anniversary parties, nobody shows upContinueContinue reading “The Virtual Cemetery”
Gateway to Kitty Nirvana
This cat café is in the Decks entertainment complex in Odaiba In a country where many people live in places too small for pets, cat cafés are a booming business. For about $10 an hour, anyone (over the age of 12) can sip a latte and pet herds of cats for as long as theirContinueContinue reading “Gateway to Kitty Nirvana”
I’ll Have the Eel Sundae with a Cherry on Top
Yep, it’s actually eel-flavored ice cream. With a handy packet of sanshō pepper on top for your take-out dining pleasure! At the Cup Ice Store you can buy individual servings of this and many other flavors that at best might be described as…interesting. Like this India Curry Ice Cream. Does it come in a naan cone?ContinueContinue reading “I’ll Have the Eel Sundae with a Cherry on Top”
Fake Fur Santa Miniskirts
It’s the time of year when young Japanese women are shopping for their Christmas Eve outfits, and nothing says “romantic holiday” more eloquently than a bright red, fake fur miniskirt. Nobody wants to look like every other Sexy Santa on the block, though, so it pays to consider the sequined, strapless, and lace-up models beforeContinueContinue reading “Fake Fur Santa Miniskirts”
Make Your Own Plastic Food!
Last week I jumped at the chance to visit a place that makes fake food models for Japanese restaurants and learn the secrets of making tempura and lettuce! Making fake lettuce is so much easier than making real lettuce. No need to acquire the superpower to create life, no need to construct a carefully balancedContinueContinue reading “Make Your Own Plastic Food!”
Deck the Halls with Blue Poinsettias
In the land where Christmas isn’t a religious or family holiday – it’s actually second only to Valentine’s Day as an opportunity for romantic dates and marriage proposals – “traditions” are viewed more as “suggestions.” This year, apparently red and green are a little Last Millennium when it comes to festive seasonal decorations. •
Pizza of December
I didn’t think Shakey’s could top the red bean, marshmallow and squash dessert pizza, but their winter specials just might surpass that creation for sheer originality. When the most ordinary offering among them is called “Roast Chicken & Pineapple,” you know you’re in for some culinary surprises. This creation features burdock root and seaweed. IfContinueContinue reading “Pizza of December”
Thong Santa
This green-haired, sixpack-flaunting, thong-wearing Santa outside an Asakusa pachinko parlor is the most boggling take on the jolly old elf I’ve seen so far this year. •
Streets Paved with Gyoza
Inside Namco Namja Town in Ikebukuro is a crooked little street lined with stands featuring the best potsticker dumplings from all over Japan. It looks like an old shitamachi lane, and the choices are dizzying. Regional specialties served with a squeeze of sudachi lime or mixed with shiso leaves are joined by more, hmm, experimentalContinueContinue reading “Streets Paved with Gyoza”
There’s a Fish Fin in My Drink
Finally it’s cold and rainy out, just the season for a swig of hot saké with a smoked, dried blowfish fin floating in it! Hirezake is such a wintertime favorite here in Japan that they sell these single-serving cans in vending machines. But nobody wants to encounter a nasty, soggy fish fin that’s been stewing in theContinueContinue reading “There’s a Fish Fin in My Drink”
Squid Ink Popcorn
Watching celebs dressed in puffy animal costumes battle it out on TV can give you a powerful craving for just the right snack, but it’s near-impossible to whip up a plate of squid ink pasta before the commercials are over. With this handy kit, you can satisfy all your snack cravings (including some you didn’tContinueContinue reading “Squid Ink Popcorn”
Christmas Hats from Hell
In the true spirit of the season, here are a couple of jolly Christmas hats that say, “Ho, ho, ho, fork over your wallet, buddy!” and “I’m having such a bad hair day that even a pile of chartreuse fake fur with fuzzy pompoms looked better!” • “I don’t know when I’ve been more caught upContinueContinue reading “Christmas Hats from Hell”
Little Blobs of Heaven on a Stick
On the last night that the fall leaves were illuminated at Rikugi-en, we stumbled across the mitarashi dango stand. In a little hut beneath the maple trees, this man and his wife were dishing up skewers of rice cakes, roasted over charcoal and slathered with miso sauce. Sometimes mitarashi dango – the traditional balls madeContinueContinue reading “Little Blobs of Heaven on a Stick”
The Godzilla of Toast
This “Maple Monbranc” Honey Toast is just what it looks like: a solid half loaf of white bread topped with ice cream, maple syrup, prolific extrusions of sweetened chestnut paste, whipped cream, half a candied chestnut and two sprigs of parsley. This is just one variety – you can order your slab of goodness toppedContinueContinue reading “The Godzilla of Toast”
Congratulations! Your Test Has Been Preponed!
This kanji reads “ganbaru,” which is usually translated as “good luck” but which actually means “try hard.” This explains Japan better than any other example I can think of. We all groaned when the Japanese kanji teacher handed us this week’s schedule: on Friday, in addition to her weekly test on the 25 characters we were supposed toContinueContinue reading “Congratulations! Your Test Has Been Preponed!”
Steaming Hot Orange Soda
For your wintertime beverage enjoyment, behold the Hot Orange. At first I figured the distributor was just getting rid of last summer’s overstock, but the packaging definitely says this vending machine offering is not only meant to be drunk steaming hot, it’ll deliver a dose of vitamin C to fend off those pesky winter colds.ContinueContinue reading “Steaming Hot Orange Soda”
Magic Mask
These three pictures are of the same Noh mask. It’s carved from wood and has no moving parts, yet just by tipping his head, the actor can change his character’s expression. Ignorant foreigner that I am, I have to admit that Noh drama is really hard to watch. The language is ancient and arcane, theContinueContinue reading “Magic Mask”
Yakitori in a Can
If you can’t be bothered to boil water and make your own Cup Noodles, this vending machine’s for you. On offer are curry udon (thick white noodles smothered in curry gravy), all manner of ramen (thin crinkly noodles in pork soup flavored with soy sauce or miso), zōsui (rice gruel with vegetables), chicken yakitori (grilledContinueContinue reading “Yakitori in a Can”
Nail Queen
I love Japanese TV. Sandwiched between a news story about protesters being pepper sprayed by police in a dangerous foreign country (America) and a piece on noodles topped with grilled intestines (horumon udon) was a story on the 2011 Tokyo Nail Expo’s Nail Queen. Nails are big here, and anything goes. It’s not unusual forContinueContinue reading “Nail Queen”
The Battle Against Unsightly Tans
Those cute little skirts on the handlebars of this lady’s bike aren’t the equivalent of doilies on armchairs – they’re to keep the sun off the rider’s hands while she bombs down the sidewalks of Tokyo. Even as fall slides into winter here, and long sleeves replace short ones, women are ever-vigilant against becoming <shudder>ContinueContinue reading “The Battle Against Unsightly Tans”
Your One-Stop Shop for Cold Drinks and Heart Defibrillation
I’ve seen AED stations all over Japan (and of course applaud the effort to get emergency equipment into the hands of bystanders so they can help someone having a heart attack) but hmm, this one made me think twice about buying that extra-caffeinated coffee drink… •
Elf/Dwarf Confusion
While we ‘re on the subject of Christmas in November, every year these sinister nodding dwarves appear outside the Meidi-ya supermarket in Hiroo. They’re definitely of the Snow-White-and-the-Seven variety rather than the elvenfolk who slave away helping Santa come across with the Christmas goodies. I learned today in my Japanese class that there’s a wordContinueContinue reading “Elf/Dwarf Confusion”
Only In Japan 