Tag Archives: Just another day in Japan

Most baffling toilet sign yet

This post is about the obviously mysterious fish slicing prohibition, but the one on the bottom left forbidding people to steal toilet paper raises nearly as many questions. I mean, can you think of anywhere in the world where it would be news to people that it’s not A-OK to nick a public toilet roll?ContinueContinue reading “Most baffling toilet sign yet”

Please don’t pee on the artifact

It’s not unusual to find some small traditional remnant of the once-grand Japanese house that used to occupy insanely valuable land that’s now home to a multi-story Tokyo apartment building, but I was still delighted to see this lovely, artfully-gnarled bashira doorpost holding up a portico in the back streets near the Nezu Museum. NotContinueContinue reading “Please don’t pee on the artifact”

Subway Safety For Rockabillies

Tokyo Metro’s subway safety posters always crack me up, because they all seem to be earnestly designed by Captain Obvious, but this one actually made me laugh with it, not at it. I mean DUH you’d have to be an idiot to know you shouldn’t prance along the scary side of the yellow line while drunk or shove unsuspecting fellow commuters into theContinueContinue reading “Subway Safety For Rockabillies”

What Japanese People Talk About At The Aquarium

Can apparently be made into quite tasty sashimi. WHO KNEW? So, today as I wandered around the Sunshine City Aquarium, I couldn’t help but overhear a few conversations between my fellow fish enthusiasts… “Wow, look at the size of that thing. It could easily feed an entire family.” After some discussion, it was decided thatContinueContinue reading “What Japanese People Talk About At The Aquarium”

Japanese Invent A New Way For VIP Visits To Annoy The Populace

The populace protests the closure. You know how it goes when a VIP comes to town: streets unexpectedly blocked, swarms of shifty-eyed men in dark suits with little curly wires in their ears, cavalcades of unnecessarily long dark cars swanning through the streets? Annoying, right? Well, in Japan, everybody takes the subway, so you’d thinkContinueContinue reading “Japanese Invent A New Way For VIP Visits To Annoy The Populace”

Emergency Funeral Tie

In case of an unscheduled Grim Reaper appearance… Every convenience store in Japan sells clothes. Emergency clothes. Say you missed the last train home and have to prop yourself in a comic book café cubicle all night, then head straight back to the hamster wheel the next morning. Your white shirt no longer passes muster,ContinueContinue reading “Emergency Funeral Tie”

Forever Alone: Japan Version

A sign advertising One-Person Karaoke rooms, 3rd floor In The Land of Group Harmony, doing things by yourself is almost un-Japanese. But because Japan is also the country which offers a hot spring resort for dogs, a store that only sells big red underwear for people over sixty, wine matched to your blood type, a clubContinueContinue reading “Forever Alone: Japan Version”

The Annual Host Convention!

Picture this. It’s a quiet Monday night in January. Usually the hosts who work in the Zero Group’s bars would be giving their hair a much-needed rest, kicking back to annihilate some video game zombies, and ordering take-out. But tonight is different from all other Monday nights. Tonight is The Annual Meeting! In any business,ContinueContinue reading “The Annual Host Convention!”

The Japanese Bus Tour: A Cultural Experience of Epic Proportions

How NOT to use a toilet. This sign mutely admonished all comers at one of the Mall Of America-sized rest stops along the way. I’d have to say that going on a two-day bus tour to the Ise Shrine has to rank right up there with staying overnight at a comic book café and goingContinueContinue reading “The Japanese Bus Tour: A Cultural Experience of Epic Proportions”

Break Glass In Case Of Poetry

Wandering the grounds at Hikone Castle, I came across this curious little box on a post. It had cards, it had a writing shelf, it had a slot for depositing the cards after one had used the writing shelf. I couldn’t read the kanji on the front. What was it? A suggestion box? Why wouldContinueContinue reading “Break Glass In Case Of Poetry”

Hangover Coffins: Rent ‘Em By The Hour

Next time you wake up and feel like you’ve died and gone to hell, spend an hour sleeping off that mandatory company drinking party in an oxygen-filled hangover coffin! You’ll not only emerge without that pounding head and queasy stomach, you’ll feel thinner, younger,  more relaxed and able to perform feats of athletic prowess withContinueContinue reading “Hangover Coffins: Rent ‘Em By The Hour”

Pooping On Laundry Prohibited!

Okay, this sign actually reads “Don’t Give Food To The Pigeons!” but it goes on to give a rather elaborate rationale for withholding bread crumbs from the little beggars. It seems that not only will feeding them provoke an unnatural population explosion, the poop from all those extra pigeons will be a scourge on localContinueContinue reading “Pooping On Laundry Prohibited!”

Monkey Business

I was walking around the Decks shopping complex in Odaiba, and suddenly, MONKEY SHOW. Seriously. Right in the middle of the mall. A monkey show. Of course, trained monkeys have been entertaining people for a long time in Japan – the tradition dates back to before the samurai era – but usually you have toContinueContinue reading “Monkey Business”

My Beautiful Handwashed Trash

Check this out. I totally have the cleanest trash in all the land. If I lived in America, (this would be some weird parallel universe America that has the same insane garbage rules as Japan, which require that recyclables be CLEAN before they are put out for collection on the appointed day), I’d have putContinueContinue reading “My Beautiful Handwashed Trash”

Job Description: Wizard of Oz

It’s amazing that a Japanese train ticket machine has never been in the running when it’s time to elect a new pope, because they are about as close to infallible as a machine can get. You stick in your money, and – unlike the ticket machine I once encountered in San Francisco, which rained downContinueContinue reading “Job Description: Wizard of Oz”

The Sumida River At Night

As the sun goes down in Odaiba, the dinner boats gather like fireflies By day, the Sumida River is a busy thoroughfare of boats and ferries, but at night it turns into a magical sea of sparkles. As night falls, the boats take off upriver As darkness falls, the river begins to glow Every boatContinueContinue reading “The Sumida River At Night”

Kayak The Untamed Canals Of Tokyo!

After you’ve climbed the north face of Everest, surfed the 50-footers at Mavericks, and helicopter boarded the Eyjafjallajokull volcano, what’s left for next year’s Golden Week? Sadly, you discover that your idea of kayaking the Amazon from its headwaters in deepest darkest Brazil would require longer than five days. But then you see this subway posterContinueContinue reading “Kayak The Untamed Canals Of Tokyo!”

Wanted: Human Shield And Occasional Apologizer

See those guys in blue uniforms? Their job is to stand there like human bollards until the massive crush dies down, making sure the mob getting off the inhumanly packed morning train doesn’t block the people scampering to catch their ride going in the opposite direction, out to the burbs. This is rush hour atContinueContinue reading “Wanted: Human Shield And Occasional Apologizer”

Real Live Tanuki Sighting!

Ahahaha, I bet you thought tanukis were the stuff of Japanese legends – crafty tricksters with notoriously large cojones who play pranks on gullible humans – but it turns out tanuki are alive and well and living on some of the choicest real estate in Tokyo! This is the most common type of tanuki sightedContinueContinue reading “Real Live Tanuki Sighting!”

I Thought I’d Seen Tricked-Out Cars, But…!

I’d whipped out my camera to capture some arty-farty reflections of the Shibuya neon on cabs stuck at a traffic light, and when I looked at the display YOWZERS there was this CAR! And because traffic getting through Shibuya was wicked slow even at midnight, Lady Luck smiled upon me and gave me a halfContinueContinue reading “I Thought I’d Seen Tricked-Out Cars, But…!”

What’s With The Tiny Door?

Wow, people were totally troll-size back in the days before homogenized vitamin D milk! Check out the tiny gate in this old wall! No, wait. Then why is there an eensy-weensy gate next to the car entrance at this temple in Daimon? It was built after the war, when hamburgers and milk had already invadedContinueContinue reading “What’s With The Tiny Door?”

Tokyo At Night: Kabuki-chō

The Hanazono Shrine, where everybody in the neighborhood makes offerings to ensure good business In Kabuki-chō, the day starts when the sun goes down. The streets are thronged with those who are looking for a good time, and those who are looking to provide it. I got to know this area pretty well when IContinueContinue reading “Tokyo At Night: Kabuki-chō”

The Head Is The Best Part

Fishsicles. The head is the best part. Or so I was told by the ayu vendor at the  Yasukuni shrine. My new pet fish-on-a-stick looked too big to be eaten whole, but apparently that’s exactly what you’re supposed to do. Head, tail, innards, bones, everything. My main grill man helpfully informed me that they’re skewered upside-down soContinueContinue reading “The Head Is The Best Part”

The World’s Shortest Elevator

If you want to contend for the title of World’s Laziest Human, get off the train at Takadanobaba Station and wait for the elevator to take you down the five steps outside the ticket gate. Okay, of course, this provides access for people who have difficulty climbing stairs, are toting giant suitcases or wheeling monstroContinueContinue reading “The World’s Shortest Elevator”

Lights! Camera! Wedding!

The fairy tale chapel in this subway ad has nothing to do with religion – it’s actually a new wedding hall outside of Yokohama! Traditionally, Japanese couples got married in a shrine with only immediate family in attendance, then threw a reception party afterwards at a restaurant or nice hotel. But recently, wedding halls andContinueContinue reading “Lights! Camera! Wedding!”

Shop ‘n Chill

So you get to the Ginza Mitsukoshi department store food hall bright and early to nab a coveted bunch of First Grapes Of The Season before they’re sold out, then you spot a nice piece of salmon for dinner. You buy it before remembering that you have to go to the dentist after doing yourContinueContinue reading “Shop ‘n Chill”

A Japanese Garden That Makes Music

This garden is actually a musical instrument! All you have to do to play it is scoop up a dipper of water and pour it over the rocks. If you put your ear up to the end of the bamboo stick nearby, you can hear the water as it drips down into the buried cistern,ContinueContinue reading “A Japanese Garden That Makes Music”

Why Do Only Men Get Chocolate On Valentine’s Day?

This picture actually has nothing to do with the strange interpretation of Valentine’s Day in Japan, but doesn’t it look like there’s a big blue heart in the sky over the shrine next to my apartment? So, you know how in Japan, women don’t get any chocolate or roses or 600 carat diamond necklaces onContinueContinue reading “Why Do Only Men Get Chocolate On Valentine’s Day?”

What The Well-Dressed God Is Wearing This Season

As I walked through the grounds of Zojo-ji Temple after watching some obligatory bean-throwing at Setsubun, I couldn’t help but notice that several of the figures of o-Jizo-sama had been gifted with quite the fashionable winter outfits! But while these displays of Jizo fashion creativity made me smile, they made me kind of sad too.ContinueContinue reading “What The Well-Dressed God Is Wearing This Season”

From Sixteen Nearly-Extinct Barley Seeds…

Only in Japan would a guy bent on coming up with a new brewskie start by requesting sixteen seeds of a nearly annihilated strain of barley from the Department of Agricultural History, then spend years cultivating his little two-foot-square patch of grain into a crop big enough to malt for production! After-work company drinking partiesContinueContinue reading “From Sixteen Nearly-Extinct Barley Seeds…”

Garbage Police Of The Gods

Don’t even think of tossing your Daruma figures, dolls or stuffed animals in the Divine Trash Bin! The very existence of this sign on the collection point outside the Meiji Shrine suggests there’s a major issue with people chronically flinging the Wrong Sort Of Stuff into the sacred  New Year’s bonfires: grubby Pikachus, dolls that haveContinueContinue reading “Garbage Police Of The Gods”

Stealth Holidays Of Japan

Nooooo! How could it be Monday morning already? If I hide my head under the pillow, will it go away? Ugh, even through the pillow, I can hear the rain. Wow, I really, really, really, really don’t want to get out of bed. Or get packed onto a train full of snuffling commuters and wetContinueContinue reading “Stealth Holidays Of Japan”

Just Try To Toss Your Round Garbage Into My Square Garbage Bin NOW!

DON’T SAY I DIDN’T WARN YOU. What is with you people?! It says right here, RIGHT ON THE RECYCLING BIN, in the kind of phonetic letters ANY SIX-YEAR-OLD should be able to handle: P A P E R    P A C K Does that say “plastic” to you? Seriously, people, read the sign. ThisContinueContinue reading “Just Try To Toss Your Round Garbage Into My Square Garbage Bin NOW!”

Tools For The Fingernail Challenged

I’ll take one in every color! Congratulating yourself that your spanking new nail art will definitely make it impossible for you to be selected to wash dishes or chop vegetables, you whip out your smartphone to send your ten best friends new shots of your to-die-for talons, the bowl of abura soba you just orderedContinueContinue reading “Tools For The Fingernail Challenged”

Standing Room Only…Restaurants?

Fried meat on a stick, SRO. Taking the single-guy-wolfing-down-a-microwaved-burrito-over-the-sink to new levels, check out these SRO restaurants! Not uncommon, especially near train stations, these places solve a major problem for harried Japanese citizens: how do you grab a bite when you’ve got 30 minutes from office to meeting and 20 of those are going toContinueContinue reading “Standing Room Only…Restaurants?”

Try Not To Think About The Sizzling Fish Brain

Maybe it’s because we’d just finished watching The Matrix, and the post-movie izakaya conversation is all about comparing the worldview of the Wachowski Bros to the Buddhist concept that all reality exists only in our minds, but when I see that someone has ordered these little silver fish, I know a “clear your mind ofContinueContinue reading “Try Not To Think About The Sizzling Fish Brain”

The Fish Bone Restaurant

You know how in America some serious steak restaurants have honkin’ big showcases of  marbled beef displayed near the front door? Well, this is the equivalent come-hither to dine at a joint where himono is the specialty of the house! Himono is basically fish jerky, but it’s different from beef jerky because it features the addedContinueContinue reading “The Fish Bone Restaurant”

What Not To Do On Japanese Trains

The Spitfire demon’s evil twin has donned a suit and volunteered to show commuters what not to do on Japanese trains. Hint #1: Do not bully schoolboys about their pink hair. They can’t help it. Hint #2: Pinching that salaryman will only get the office lady’s knickers in a twist, so please direct your attentionsContinueContinue reading “What Not To Do On Japanese Trains”