Nooooo! How could it be Monday morning already? If I hide my head under the pillow, will it go away? Ugh, even through the pillow, I can hear the rain. Wow, I really, really, really, really don’t want to get out of bed. Or get packed onto a train full of snuffling commuters and wetContinueContinue reading “Stealth Holidays Of Japan”
Category Archives: Just another day in Japan
Just Try To Toss Your Round Garbage Into My Square Garbage Bin NOW!
DON’T SAY I DIDN’T WARN YOU. What is with you people?! It says right here, RIGHT ON THE RECYCLING BIN, in the kind of phonetic letters ANY SIX-YEAR-OLD should be able to handle: P A P E R P A C K Does that say “plastic” to you? Seriously, people, read the sign. ThisContinueContinue reading “Just Try To Toss Your Round Garbage Into My Square Garbage Bin NOW!”
Try Not To Think About The Sizzling Fish Brain
Maybe it’s because we’d just finished watching The Matrix, and the post-movie izakaya conversation is all about comparing the worldview of the Wachowski Bros to the Buddhist concept that all reality exists only in our minds, but when I see that someone has ordered these little silver fish, I know a “clear your mind ofContinueContinue reading “Try Not To Think About The Sizzling Fish Brain”
The Fish Bone Restaurant
You know how in America some serious steak restaurants have honkin’ big showcases of marbled beef displayed near the front door? Well, this is the equivalent come-hither to dine at a joint where himono is the specialty of the house! Himono is basically fish jerky, but it’s different from beef jerky because it features the addedContinueContinue reading “The Fish Bone Restaurant”
What Not To Do On Japanese Trains
The Spitfire demon’s evil twin has donned a suit and volunteered to show commuters what not to do on Japanese trains. Hint #1: Do not bully schoolboys about their pink hair. They can’t help it. Hint #2: Pinching that salaryman will only get the office lady’s knickers in a twist, so please direct your attentionsContinueContinue reading “What Not To Do On Japanese Trains”
Special today! $300 Mushrooms!
I had to stop and count the zeros, because I can honestly say that even in Japan, I’ve never seen a number of that size attached to a piece of FOOD. To be fair, this is a jumbo pack of matsutakes (they’re usually sold onesie-twosie), and the price per shroom works out to a bargainContinueContinue reading “Special today! $300 Mushrooms!”
Is It Headless Character Trash Day Yet?
I spotted the Headless Horseman’s Younger Sister out at the curb last Friday on Recyclable Trash Day among the ho-hum bags of beer cans, plastic water bottles and onesie-twosie hard liquor empties. The Garbage Powers That Be evidently decided that this cranium-challenged miss was made of suspiciously unrecyclable plastic, because she was still standing there whenContinueContinue reading “Is It Headless Character Trash Day Yet?”
Sleepover at the Comic Book Cafe
It was 2:30 in the morning on a rainy Shibuya night. Not a cab in sight. And if there had been, chances are, one of the hundreds of other people straining their eyes searching for one in vain would have beaten us to it. What to do, what to do? Fortunately, my friend was Japanese,ContinueContinue reading “Sleepover at the Comic Book Cafe”
The World’s Least Exclusive Tattoo Parlor
Saw this in Harajuku I guess that only leaves the namby-pamby souls destined to spend several millennia in Purgatory… •
How to Survive a Company Drinking Party
How hard could it be? Gallop with your co-workers to a nearby watering hole, then eat, drink & be merry until they kick you out. But like the seasonal cherry blossom party, nomikais are not for the weak, and if you happen to be the junior member of the team, your duties will require staminaContinueContinue reading “How to Survive a Company Drinking Party”
The Scene Of The Crime
I get to Shibuya Station a little early to meet a friend, and suddenly I’m so hungry I think I’m going to die. Whipping inside the handy Tokyu store, I buy a miniature bag of chocolate cookies to wolf down before my friend arrives. Nom, nom, whew, ravenous feeling assuaged. Oh no, unanticipated pitfall! NowContinueContinue reading “The Scene Of The Crime”
Stairway to Svelteness Heaven
Forget that zumba class – I’m going shopping instead! Every step on the way to the floor where they sell the Infrared Pants Of Titanium at Tokyu Hands now informs me just how many calories I burned by virtuously bypassing the elevator. You won’t need this space age product anymore once you hike up toContinueContinue reading “Stairway to Svelteness Heaven”
Get Out Of Work Free Card
This unassuming little piece of paper is pure gold. If your morning commute train is delayed for any reason at all – a carton of instant ramen noodles smashed on the tracks, torrential rain, an umbrella hopelessly fankling up one of the doors – rail company officials stand inside the ticket gates and hand theseContinueContinue reading “Get Out Of Work Free Card”
What’s Swirly and Orange and Not the Flavor You Think It Is?
Okay, I’m not going to guess orange sherbet, then. Something more exotic…Mango! Nope. Pumpkin! Nope. I’ll give you a hint: when I was in grade school, something this flavor was usually eaten with grilled cheese sandwiches. Oh no, it’s that weird togarashi pepper flavor from Ice Cream City, isn’t it? Nyoop. (Ahahaha, you think IContinueContinue reading “What’s Swirly and Orange and Not the Flavor You Think It Is?”
First, Poke A Hole With A Toothpick…
For some mysterious reason, milk cartons and styrofoam food trays are the equivalent of a wandering barge heaped with radioactive byproducts when it comes to curbside collection, and must be carted back to the supermarket for recycling. But don’t think you can just toss them in the bin! Oh no. Milk cartons must be tornContinueContinue reading “First, Poke A Hole With A Toothpick…”
How To Survive A Cherry Blossom Party
It looks easy, right? Meet friends at park, spread out tarp, drink beer, admire cherry blossoms. But o-hanami parties are fraught with hidden dangers. Allow me to save you from certain disaster. 1: Bring appropriate reading material Be sure you tote along something to read while standing in line for the bathroom. Recommended titles areContinueContinue reading “How To Survive A Cherry Blossom Party”
Manga Schoolgirl Dogs
A contender for the Iditarod cheering squad with her best friend, whose white sailor uniform must have gone through the wash with granny’s red underwear I didn’t think the Husky Club could outdo last month’s Husky kimono parade, but yesterday in honor of Japanese graduation season, they all turned up at the park dressed as mangaContinueContinue reading “Manga Schoolgirl Dogs”
Rockabilly Spring
When I went to Yoyogi Park on Sunday, it was still too cold to unzip my jacket, the cherry blossom buds were still tight as fists, and even the dogs were still wearing little hoodie sweatshirts, but I knew that spring had officially come because the rockabilly guys had changed their uniforms. Black leather jackets:ContinueContinue reading “Rockabilly Spring”
Crows Are Geniuses
At first I thought this was a somewhat feeble effort at public poetry by the Minato City municipal government, but it turns out there really is a crow menace in Arisugawa Park. I used to think the mayor of Tokyo was kind of crazy because of his public hatred of foreigners, post-menopausal women and crows,ContinueContinue reading “Crows Are Geniuses”
How To Ship A Live Fish
Today at FoodEx Japan – the once-a-year trade show where everyone from honey pepper vodka producers to octopus distributors show their latest and greatest – I discovered how they ship live fish! The dude in the picture above was just looking around, like, “What’s that strange animal floating around up there? I’ve never seen anything likeContinueContinue reading “How To Ship A Live Fish”
Dogs In Kimonos
Love that this pair even have the white fur wraps girls always wear with their kimonos in wintertime! You can’t help but throw your head back and laugh in amazement when fifteen dogs parade by, dressed in Japanese formalwear. In honor of Hina Matsuri (the doll festival that happens every year at the beginning of March)ContinueContinue reading “Dogs In Kimonos”
The Garbage Police Strike Again!
Remember how I was stressing about not putting out the five different arcane types of garbage correctly? Well, this is what happens if you screw up! Your trash is shamefully left behind with big colorful notes on it to tell you what you did wrong! The yellow note says that the kind of trash inContinueContinue reading “The Garbage Police Strike Again!”
Smoke With Abandon, All Ye Who Enter Here
The Blue Windy Lounge is about as close to a smoker’s paradise as you can get: comfy seats, fine ventilation, vending machines stocked with your favorite smokes if you need a top-up, no cover charge and best of all, nobody glaring at you as though your presence were shortening their lives! For years, Asia has beenContinueContinue reading “Smoke With Abandon, All Ye Who Enter Here”
Steel-Toed Construction Slippers
Okay, I was kidding about the steel toes, but not about the slippers. This is a construction site I passed today in Hiroo. Not taking off your shoes when you enter someone’s house here feels as weird as not taking off your clothes before you step in the shower, and that even goes for constructionContinueContinue reading “Steel-Toed Construction Slippers”
This Will Never Be On My Grocery List
I was browsing the meat section at my local super the other night, trying to get some inspiration for dinner, when I noticed it must be shirako season. Have to say, that fact didn’t help me much with my meal planning, since I pretty much never get a craving for fish testicles. While I have eatenContinueContinue reading “This Will Never Be On My Grocery List”
Feeling Lucky?
The Listen Flavor sales staff working hard to move the special New Year’s backpacks filled with mystery goods January 2nd used to be known as one of the few times the public was allowed behind the walls of the Imperial Palace to see the emperor, but these days you’ll find everyone under 30 jamming theContinueContinue reading “Feeling Lucky?”
The Virtual Cemetery
The Eternal Use Virtual Grave fits a peculiar need in Japan. With fewer people marrying and having children, the number of people who are the last in their family lines is increasing. In Japan, this is especially sad, because not only does this leave you without anyone to organize your periodic death anniversary parties, nobody shows upContinueContinue reading “The Virtual Cemetery”
Make Your Own Plastic Food!
Last week I jumped at the chance to visit a place that makes fake food models for Japanese restaurants and learn the secrets of making tempura and lettuce! Making fake lettuce is so much easier than making real lettuce. No need to acquire the superpower to create life, no need to construct a carefully balancedContinueContinue reading “Make Your Own Plastic Food!”
Congratulations! Your Test Has Been Preponed!
This kanji reads “ganbaru,” which is usually translated as “good luck” but which actually means “try hard.” This explains Japan better than any other example I can think of. We all groaned when the Japanese kanji teacher handed us this week’s schedule: on Friday, in addition to her weekly test on the 25 characters we were supposed toContinueContinue reading “Congratulations! Your Test Has Been Preponed!”
Zombie Sardines
This was the scene when I got off the train at Shibuya this morning. Japanese trains are legendary for the number of people packed into each car during commute hours, so you can imagine how quickly things get out of hand when there’s even a slight delay anywhere along the line. Late trains are such aContinueContinue reading “Zombie Sardines”
Next I Want To See The Bonsai Tulip
Yep, it’s a bonsai chrysanthemum. I saw this prize specimen at the Yasukuni Shrine last weekend. It’s the wickedly competitive chrysanthemum exhibiting season in Japan right now, and shrines all over Tokyo have erected little huts filled with obsessively nurtured flowers. Not only do the un-bonsaied varieties have to be perfectly symmetrical, with their bloomsContinueContinue reading “Next I Want To See The Bonsai Tulip”
Obscure Stuffies
Japanese toy makers can usually rise to the challenge of making a cute stuffed animal out of even the most unappealing lifeforms – witness Capybara-san, a surprisingly popular character even though World’s Biggest Rodent is not exactly anybody’s idea of a heartwarming claim to fame. So whose idea was it to produce the anatomically correctContinueContinue reading “Obscure Stuffies”
Happy Death Anniversary
This invitation to a death anniversary arrived in yesterday’s mail. I love the idea of death anniversaries. In Japan, people don’t forget all about you after you die. One year after, they throw a party. Family and friends are invited, a plate of your favorite foods and a cup of your favorite refreshment is setContinueContinue reading “Happy Death Anniversary”
No Rescuing Allowed
Tokyo Metro subway poster at Ichigaya station, Yūrakachō line. This is the first time I’ve seen a Japanese subway poster advising people NOT to follow their noblest instincts. Usually the general public is being admonished to silence their cell phones, put their makeup on at home, crank their earphones down, not pass out on theContinueContinue reading “No Rescuing Allowed”
Elvis is Alive and Performing in Yoyogi Park
It was a beautiful autumn afternoon yesterday in Yoyogi Park, and the rockabilly clubs were out in force. These guys gather around boom boxes near the Harajuku Station entrance, occasionally swigging from a bottle of whisky, taking turns dancing their hearts out to “Blue Suede Shoes” and other classics from when The King was king.ContinueContinue reading “Elvis is Alive and Performing in Yoyogi Park”
The Ur-Vending Machine
I was walking along a little back street in Tama when I came across the great grand-daddy of vending machines: this little neighborhood vegetable hutch. People leave their backyard surplus in the bins and anyone can buy it by dropping ¥100 in the slot marked “Put Money In Here.” I know that there are lots ofContinueContinue reading “The Ur-Vending Machine”
King Of Tattoo
Taiwanese artist Horian working on a full-body piece. People from all over the world flew in to be worked on by the international artists at the King of Tattoo three-day inkfest in Daikanyama yesterday. I don’t have any tattoos myself, but I’ve always been interested in art that has to adapt to its environment (like,ContinueContinue reading “King Of Tattoo”
Pikachu, Wedding Crasher
Today I went to the most excellent Japanese wedding ever. In addition to the usual Japanese wedding reception elements – the announcements to get out the video cameras because a precious moment was about to happen, the cutting of the plaster cake, the lengthy toasts by bosses and other worthies, the professional-quality video resumes –ContinueContinue reading “Pikachu, Wedding Crasher”
Failing at Putting Out The Trash
Tomorrow’s trash challenge, as outlined on my handy garbage guidelines poster. Foreigners are legendary at garbage fail in Japan, but anxiety about Doing Trash Right runs deep here, even among native-born Nihon-jin. In a Japanese soap opera I watched recently, one housewife mercilessly bullies her neighbor by sneaking The Wrong Kind Of Trash into herContinueContinue reading “Failing at Putting Out The Trash”
Only In Japan 