April
09
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How To Survive A Cherry Blossom Party
It looks easy, right? Meet friends at park, spread out tarp, drink beer, admire cherry blossoms. But o-hanami parties are fraught with hidden dangers. Allow me to save you from certain disaster.
1: Bring appropriate reading material
Be sure you tote along something to read while standing in line for the bathroom. Recommended titles are War & Peace, The Complete Works Of Charles Dickens, and (for those of you who like nonfiction) The Origin Of Species.
2: Aim for the perfect balance
Because of the Bathroom Issue, the goal of all veteran o-hanami partiers is maximizing drunkenness while minimizing making it to chapter 27 in any of the above books. Drinking slowly, yet relentlessly, seems to be the preferred method.
3: Do not go on a diet the day before your o-hanami party
The day after is the recommended time. It’s easy, because after 8 hours of snarfing down o-hanami snacks, you will wake up the next morning swearing off potato chips, octopus balls and alcohol FOREVER.
4: Inspect socks for embarrassing holes before departing
Yes, you must remove your shoes before setting foot on The Tarp. What are you, some kind of barbarian?
•
In case you need something to read in that long bathroom line…
“A genuinely gripping crime thriller which wrong-foots and perplexes the reader throughout, drawing us in emotionally . . . Highly recommended.” –Raven Crime Reads
For nine years, Tokyo Detective Kenji Nakamura thought his mother’s death was an accident. Then he gets a call, and his life begins to unravel. Because if it wasn’t an accident…what was it? Read more
Origin of Species!?! Ha, I love it!
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Yeah, the bathroom line is definitely the kind of environment in which only the strong survive.
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Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!
To funny!! Thanks for the info; my goal is to attend one of these.
Love the book rec. LOL
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Well, I had plenty of time to think of them while STANDING IN LINE. Which I did for 40 long minutes! Naturally, the men’s line was going about three times as fast, and I was deeply tempted to switch. This would have caused dangerously high blood pressure in about a hundred Japanese people though, so instead I harbored road rage-like fury at any woman who spent an unnecessary amount of time behind that closed door…
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