How To Survive A Cherry Blossom Party

It looks easy, right? Meet friends at park, spread out tarp, drink beer, admire cherry blossoms. But o-hanami parties are fraught with hidden dangers. Allow me to save you from certain disaster.

1: Bring appropriate reading material

Be sure you tote along something to read while standing in line for the bathroom. Recommended titles are War & Peace, The Complete Works Of Charles Dickens, and (for those of you who like nonfiction) The Origin Of Species.

2: Aim for the perfect balance

Because of the Bathroom Issue, the goal of all veteran o-hanami partiers is maximizing drunkenness while minimizing making it to chapter 27 in any of the above books. Drinking slowly, yet relentlessly, seems to be the preferred method.

3: Do not go on a diet the day before your o-hanami party

The day after is the recommended time. It’s easy, because after 8 hours of snarfing down o-hanami snacks, you will wake up the next morning swearing off potato chips, octopus balls and alcohol FOREVER.

4: Inspect socks for embarrassing holes before departing

Yes, you must remove your shoes before setting foot on The Tarp. What are you, some kind of barbarian?

It’s the year 1784 and the shōgun rules with an iron fist . . . except within the walled pleasure quarter of Yoshiwara. Inside the Great Gate, samurai law does not apply, and it’s women who pull the strings

The Samurai’s Octopus…is a truly remarkable book, one that surprised and charmed me at every turn of the page. You’re in for a treat.”
James Ziskin, Anthony, Barry, and Macavity Award-winning author of the Ellie Stone mysteries

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Jonelle Patrick writes novels set in Japan, produces the monthly e-magazine Japanagram, and blogs at Only In Japan and The Tokyo Guide I Wish I’d Had

Published by Jonelle Patrick

Author of The Last Tea Bowl Thief

7 thoughts on “How To Survive A Cherry Blossom Party

    1. Well, I had plenty of time to think of them while STANDING IN LINE. Which I did for 40 long minutes! Naturally, the men’s line was going about three times as fast, and I was deeply tempted to switch. This would have caused dangerously high blood pressure in about a hundred Japanese people though, so instead I harbored road rage-like fury at any woman who spent an unnecessary amount of time behind that closed door…

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