How To Survive A Cherry Blossom Party

Posted by Jonelle Patrick on April 9, 2012 in Just another day in Japan | 7 Comments

It looks easy, right? Meet friends at park, spread out tarp, drink beer, admire cherry blossoms. But o-hanami parties are fraught with hidden dangers. Allow me to save you from certain disaster.

1: Bring appropriate reading material

Be sure you tote along something to read while standing in line for the bathroom. Recommended titles are War & Peace, The Complete Works Of Charles Dickens, and (for those of you who like nonfiction) The Origin Of Species.

2: Aim for the perfect balance

Because of the Bathroom Issue, the goal of all veteran o-hanami partiers is maximizing drunkenness while minimizing making it to chapter 27 in any of the above books. Drinking slowly, yet relentlessly, seems to be the preferred method.

3: Do not go on a diet the day before your o-hanami party

The day after is the recommended time. It’s easy, because after 8 hours of snarfing down o-hanami snacks, you will wake up the next morning swearing off potato chips, octopus balls and alcohol FOREVER.

4: Inspect socks for embarrassing holes before departing

Yes, you must remove your shoes before setting foot on The Tarp. What are you, some kind of barbarian?

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Jonelle Patrick writes novels set in Tokyo