It looks easy, right? Meet friends at park, spread out tarp, drink beer, admire cherry blossoms. But o-hanami parties are fraught with hidden dangers. Allow me to save you from certain disaster.
1: Bring appropriate reading material
Be sure you tote along something to read while standing in line for the bathroom. Recommended titles are War & Peace, The Complete Works Of Charles Dickens, and (for those of you who like nonfiction) The Origin Of Species.
2: Aim for the perfect balance
Because of the Bathroom Issue, the goal of all veteran o-hanami partiers is maximizing drunkenness while minimizing making it to chapter 27 in any of the above books. Drinking slowly, yet relentlessly, seems to be the preferred method.
3: Do not go on a diet the day before your o-hanami party
The day after is the recommended time. It’s easy, because after 8 hours of snarfing down o-hanami snacks, you will wake up the next morning swearing off potato chips, octopus balls and alcohol FOREVER.
4: Inspect socks for embarrassing holes before departing
Yes, you must remove your shoes before setting foot on The Tarp. What are you, some kind of barbarian?
The Last Tea Bowl Thief was chosen as an Editor’s Pick for
Best Mystery, Thriller & Suspense on Amazon
“A fascinating mix of history and mystery.” —Booklist
Jonelle Patrick writes novels set in Japan, produces the monthly e-magazine Japanagram, and blogs at Only In Japan and The Tokyo Guide I Wish I’d Had
7 thoughts on “How To Survive A Cherry Blossom Party”
Origin of Species!?! Ha, I love it!
Yeah, the bathroom line is definitely the kind of environment in which only the strong survive.
To funny!! Thanks for the info; my goal is to attend one of these.
Love the book rec. LOL
Well, I had plenty of time to think of them while STANDING IN LINE. Which I did for 40 long minutes! Naturally, the men’s line was going about three times as fast, and I was deeply tempted to switch. This would have caused dangerously high blood pressure in about a hundred Japanese people though, so instead I harbored road rage-like fury at any woman who spent an unnecessary amount of time behind that closed door…