Category Archives: Why, Japan, Why?

Meaningless Wastebaskets of Japan

How do you say, “Don’t even think of stuffing your snack wrappers and pet bottle empties into your room’s trash can”? With the world’s tiniest wastebasket, of course! Seriously, this waste receptacle technically checked the “wastebasket” box at a ryōkan I recently stayed at, but was barely big enough for a single used Kleenex. •

Cosplay Barbie, expert level

“Mommy, when I grow up, can I be a Furry?” If you needed further proof that anything Ken can do, Barbie can do better, look no further than the toy aisle of Yodobashi Camera! Not only can Barbie legit attend cosplay conventions without showing her face, she’s got a choice of bunny, puppy or pandaContinueContinue reading “Cosplay Barbie, expert level”

Be a model in Japan, they said. It’ll be fun, they said.

Just think! Your face will be in every Family Mart in Japan! When your modeling agency tells you they’re sending you to Japan to be the face of a famous international brand, you probably weren’t envisioning this. But cheer up. You’re in good company. They make their own pop stars pose in headgear that’s equallyContinueContinue reading “Be a model in Japan, they said. It’ll be fun, they said.”

It’s moonburger season!

Everyone here knows that’s not melted cheese. As the harvest moon rises over Tokyo, you know it’s once again time to top all kinds of food with a raw egg to pay homage to Lady Luna. Usually this manifests as a raw egg swimming around on top of your bowl of noodles (which you loudlyContinueContinue reading “It’s moonburger season!”

In Japan, you’re never too young to…

Seen at Yodobashi Camera in Akihabara think of chickens as walking yakitori. If you’ve never had the pleasure of overhearing what Japanese people talk about at the aquarium, it may come as a surprise that when they see a chicken, the first thing they think isn’t “Ooo, colorful feathers!” but “Yum, skewered and grilled withContinueContinue reading “In Japan, you’re never too young to…”

If you think box wine is bad, wait ’til you try box whisky!

Seen at my local Aeon If you didn’t think there were new depths to be plumbed on the way to getting hammered as cheaply as possible, I’ve got two words for you: box whisky. Some beleaguered marketing exec obviously consulted their Japanese-English dictionary and tried to swank up their bottom-of-the-barrel brand by calling it “Snazz,”ContinueContinue reading “If you think box wine is bad, wait ’til you try box whisky!”

Frankenthirst

Obviously, the best way to boost the careers of boy band idols who are now stretching the definition of “boy” is to cast them in a stage production of…Frankenstein? Move over Rocky Horror—there’s a new monster on the block! • If you love strange Japanese stuff you’d never see anywhere else…

Why is there corn on my…

Japan isn’t a land where it’s understood what an abomination it is to eat corn if it’s a) not the cob, b) dripping with butter, and c) being served any time of year that’s not summer. In fact, the question that arises every single time I enter a Japanese supermarket or convenience store is… WHYContinueContinue reading “Why is there corn on my…”

Mommy, when I grow up, can I be a cat lady?

In Japan, it’s never to early to practice going to the animal shelter and agonizing over which adorable pet to save. To add that extra dose of realism, there are four adorable animals but only two carriers. And when you give in to all their doomed little faces begging not to be left behind, that’sContinueContinue reading “Mommy, when I grow up, can I be a cat lady?”

Xmas Gifts I Do Not Want To Find Under My Tree

The world’s most dreaded procedure play set When flossing looks like the most fun activity on offer, you know you’re in trouble. • The fermented soybean puzzle The only thing that would make this puzzle featuring clumps of Japan’s most notoriously unfriendly food less fun would be if it were real nattō, which is oneContinueContinue reading “Xmas Gifts I Do Not Want To Find Under My Tree”

What all the cool skateboards are wearing this season

If your skateboard hates going around naked in public, in Japan you can buy it a nice outfit to preserve its modesty! Actually, it’s pretty common in Japan to put bespoke covers on belongings that might scratch or dirty the train on your way to having fun. I’ve also spotted basketball covers… and skins toContinueContinue reading “What all the cool skateboards are wearing this season”

Wingtips, with a mullet

Business in the front, beach party in the back! Summer in Japan is so hot and steamy that any hack that still looks office-worthy while cutting down on the unbearable sweatiness is fair game. • If you love to laugh at strange Japanese stuff you’d never see anywhere else…

Weird Japanese burger sighting: The Big Mac (and Cheese)!

It’s been a while since I spotted a Japanese burger worthy of sharing, but even I had to stop and laugh when I saw THIS: And lest you be tempted to give it points for at least being plant-based, there really is a big old burger o’ beef beating at the heart of that cheesyContinueContinue reading “Weird Japanese burger sighting: The Big Mac (and Cheese)!”

Where there be dragons

If dragons are on your fantasy bucket list, get thee to Ryōanji temple in Kyoto and feast your eyes on these beauties! From now through March 31, 2023, the legendary lizards take over Ryōanji temple in Kyoto, and they do not disappoint! Imagine having a real live dragon to bork at burglars! Or one thatContinueContinue reading “Where there be dragons”

More Halloween costumes I would regret

I’m not sure what would possess anyone to dress like a chicken on Halloween, but this is apparently such a popular idea in Japan that there’s more than one take on this dubious costume. To deepen the mystery…those red and white striped socks. • If you enjoy exploring back streets and thinking about stuff thatContinueContinue reading “More Halloween costumes I would regret”

Most baffling toilet sign yet

This post is about the obviously mysterious fish slicing prohibition, but the one on the bottom left forbidding people to steal toilet paper raises nearly as many questions. I mean, can you think of anywhere in the world where it would be news to people that it’s not A-OK to nick a public toilet roll?ContinueContinue reading “Most baffling toilet sign yet”

Please don’t pee on the artifact

It’s not unusual to find some small traditional remnant of the once-grand Japanese house that used to occupy insanely valuable land that’s now home to a multi-story Tokyo apartment building, but I was still delighted to see this lovely, artfully-gnarled bashira doorpost holding up a portico in the back streets near the Nezu Museum. NotContinueContinue reading “Please don’t pee on the artifact”

Craft…Cola?

In the category of “things that should not have a ‘handcrafted’ version,” cola has got to be the headliner. This inexplicable cola concentrate was on sale at my local organic food boutique (file under “WUT?”), and the explanation on the back assures me that not only was it made from “spices procured from all overContinueContinue reading “Craft…Cola?”

Camping J-style: Don’t forget the rice cooker

If you’re in search of a rugged outdoor experience you can regale your co-workers with at the next company drink-a-thon (but not the kind that produces tales of campfire fails, culinary deprivation or drafty tents), Japan’s got you covered! If you’re more of a back-the-tailgate-up-to-the-fire-ring kind of camper than a backcountry how-much-toilet-paper-do-I-really-need-for-a-week trekker, this traditionalContinueContinue reading “Camping J-style: Don’t forget the rice cooker”

Santa Blasphemy returns

Don’t let the name of this Santa costume fool you—there’s nothing sacrosanct about Santa when it comes to dressing up like the jolly old elf in Japan! Even the most stalwart child might hesitate before climbing into the lap of a Holy Basic Santa who looks like he might demand a confession before hearing aboutContinueContinue reading “Santa Blasphemy returns”

In Japan, You’re Never Too Young To…

…learn to charge your devices • …eat instant ramen • …get addicted to those coin-gobbling, impossible-to-win claw machines • …learn to drive a train • …drink tea • …start your own maid cafe • …organize your action figures’ weapons neatly on a 1/2 scale gun rack • …summon the forces of darkness •

Tokyo’s best-dressed nude statue: It’s that Santa time of year

Tokyo’s best-dressed nude statue changes into the jolly old elf for the month of December, but sometimes his costumers get a bit…creative. When they started in the year 2000, the first few years were pretty tame… Then someone gave him a pet reindeer Which ushered in a period of hog-wild experimentation… that provoked some sortContinueContinue reading “Tokyo’s best-dressed nude statue: It’s that Santa time of year”

Subway manners meet covid—with a side of prejudice—in these new posters

Subway manners posters have admonished commuters not to whack fellow commuters onto the tracks with their rockabilly hair, avoid grabbing the station employees by their neckties, and stop dying from overwork, but this is the first time they’ve taken on rudeness in time of pandemic. Dashing onto a car just as the doors close andContinueContinue reading “Subway manners meet covid—with a side of prejudice—in these new posters”

How lucky is YOUR name?

When your parents agonized over the perfect name for you, I hope they avoided all the usual pitfalls—initials that accidentally spell swear words, traumatizing nicknames, monikers that belong to disgraced celebrities or lame people they knew growing up—but if they aren’t Japanese, I bet they didn’t think about the numbers. Wait, what? Numbers? What numbers?ContinueContinue reading “How lucky is YOUR name?”

Six Surprising Reasons Japanese People Wear Masks, Even When There’s No Pandemic

If you’ve been puzzling over why Japan is such a “mask-wearing society,” it’s not because they’re all super-OCD about germs. Here are six excellent Japanese reasons to wear a mask that have nothing to do with the dread COVID: 1 – You overslept Because if this is your typical morning routine… …you can cut yourContinueContinue reading “Six Surprising Reasons Japanese People Wear Masks, Even When There’s No Pandemic”

An Only-In-Japan Problem If There Ever Was One

We’re coming into high matsuri season, when the local Shinto gods are paraded through the neighborhood to remind them of all the people and businesses they’re supposed to be keeping a lucky eye on, but these sake-filled summertime festivals that feature scantily-clad men rocking that shrine through the streets… come with their own peculiar anxiety…ContinueContinue reading “An Only-In-Japan Problem If There Ever Was One”

One Fried Noodle Sandwich, Please

From the land that junk food shame forgot, this. A yakisoba sandwich is basically the Japanese equivalent of cold pizza for breakfast, on a bun. This is what frugal Japanese fry up for breakfast if one of their fridge leftovers happens to be noodles, so it was rare to find this homely item for saleContinueContinue reading “One Fried Noodle Sandwich, Please”

I Saw Another New Wild Animal In Tokyo!

There I was, drinking in the serene green at the Kiyosumi Garden… (Where, I might add, the herons on the far island were prancing around doing the “my genes are better than yours” dance) …when I nearly stepped on this. It’s a Northern Chinese Softshell turtle, and if Wikipedia is right, this one is settingContinueContinue reading “I Saw Another New Wild Animal In Tokyo!”

The Tool For All Your Chrome-plated Outdoor Needs

The must be the tool you’d need when pulling into the glamping spot in your pristine 4-wheel drive, to, I dunno…shovel a few more steaks onto the barbie? Return your cocktail garnishes to the earth from whence they came? Bury bodies above your pay grade? •

The Scourge Of The Orange Jacket

Okay, I know you think I’m a whiner because I went off on this guy wearing an orange jacket, sitting right in the middle of a shot I wanted to take during cherry blossom season at Shinjuku Gyōen. I mean, one guy, minding his own business—so what if his head’s inside his phone instead ofContinueContinue reading “The Scourge Of The Orange Jacket”

Soft Drink Flavors I Do Not Want To Try

In the scraping-the-bottom-of-the-flavor-idea-barrel sweepstakes, a clear winner. As if banana-flavored soda isn’t nauseating enough, they paired it with that nasty sour-milk yogurt flavor for good measure This yogurt-banana mash-up surfs in on the enduring popularity of the local favorite soft drink, Calpis, which inexplicably established sweetened sour milk as a delightful flavor in Japan. InContinueContinue reading “Soft Drink Flavors I Do Not Want To Try”

Remote Control Hell At The Traditional Inn

On Tuesday I arrived at a fabulous onsen in Tateshima, expecting to simmer in their hot spring, gaze at splendid autumn leaves in luxurious quietude, and stuff myself with regional specialties, but when I got to my room I found…this. I mean, what the heckin’ heck? Five remotes to control a tatami-floored room at aContinueContinue reading “Remote Control Hell At The Traditional Inn”

Failed Rock Gardens Of Japan

Nobody’s going to deny that rock gardens are one of the great art forms of Japan. I mean, who doesn’t enjoy an exquisitely designed miniature landscape of meticulously raked gravel… …swirling around a few mindfully placed boulders? Plus, compared to even your most basic Japanese garden, they’re really low-maintenance. I mean, once you plant aContinueContinue reading “Failed Rock Gardens Of Japan”

Japanese Invent A New Way For VIP Visits To Annoy The Populace

The populace protests the closure. You know how it goes when a VIP comes to town: streets unexpectedly blocked, swarms of shifty-eyed men in dark suits with little curly wires in their ears, cavalcades of unnecessarily long dark cars swanning through the streets? Annoying, right? Well, in Japan, everybody takes the subway, so you’d thinkContinueContinue reading “Japanese Invent A New Way For VIP Visits To Annoy The Populace”

At The Ise Shrine, Everything New Is Old

Hey, don’t we already have one of these? The god of rice’s building at the Ise Shrine sits next to a vacant lot. Or, actually, a construction site. Because every twenty years, a replica of the rice god’s shrine is lovingly built right next door. In the twentieth year, the god of rice is movedContinueContinue reading “At The Ise Shrine, Everything New Is Old”

My Beautiful Handwashed Trash

Check this out. I totally have the cleanest trash in all the land. If I lived in America, (this would be some weird parallel universe America that has the same insane garbage rules as Japan, which require that recyclables be CLEAN before they are put out for collection on the appointed day), I’d have putContinueContinue reading “My Beautiful Handwashed Trash”

What’s With The Tiny Door?

Wow, people were totally troll-size back in the days before homogenized vitamin D milk! Check out the tiny gate in this old wall! No, wait. Then why is there an eensy-weensy gate next to the car entrance at this temple in Daimon? It was built after the war, when hamburgers and milk had already invadedContinueContinue reading “What’s With The Tiny Door?”

Can Foreigners Get Into A Host Club?

In pictures taken at host clubs, customers’ faces are always fuzzed out to protect their privacy. Not everybody wants their grandma or their boss to know just what kind of fun they’re having in their spare time! It’s possible, but it it’s not quite as simple as walking up to the doorman and asking toContinueContinue reading “Can Foreigners Get Into A Host Club?”

Why Do Only Men Get Chocolate On Valentine’s Day?

This picture actually has nothing to do with the strange interpretation of Valentine’s Day in Japan, but doesn’t it look like there’s a big blue heart in the sky over the shrine next to my apartment? So, you know how in Japan, women don’t get any chocolate or roses or 600 carat diamond necklaces onContinueContinue reading “Why Do Only Men Get Chocolate On Valentine’s Day?”

Garbage Police Of The Gods

Don’t even think of tossing your Daruma figures, dolls or stuffed animals in the Divine Trash Bin! The very existence of this sign on the collection point outside the Meiji Shrine suggests there’s a major issue with people chronically flinging the Wrong Sort Of Stuff into the sacred  New Year’s bonfires: grubby Pikachus, dolls that haveContinueContinue reading “Garbage Police Of The Gods”

King Of Tattoo Returns!

I knew studying kanji would come in handy someday! The big character on this gentleman’s neck is the one for “nine” and the ones running down the front are Chinese, not Japanese, but the characters are the ones for “fleeting dreams.” I’m quite sure it’s an idiom rather than something that can be easily translated,ContinueContinue reading “King Of Tattoo Returns!”

Is It Headless Character Trash Day Yet?

I spotted the Headless Horseman’s Younger Sister out at the curb last Friday on Recyclable Trash Day among the ho-hum bags of beer cans, plastic water bottles and onesie-twosie hard liquor empties. The Garbage Powers That Be evidently decided that this cranium-challenged miss was made of suspiciously unrecyclable plastic, because she was still standing there whenContinueContinue reading “Is It Headless Character Trash Day Yet?”

The Scene Of The Crime

I get to Shibuya Station a little early to meet a friend, and suddenly I’m so hungry I think I’m going to die. Whipping inside the handy Tokyu store, I buy a miniature bag of chocolate cookies to wolf down before my friend arrives. Nom, nom, whew, ravenous feeling assuaged. Oh no, unanticipated pitfall! NowContinueContinue reading “The Scene Of The Crime”