Don’t let the name of this Santa costume fool you—there’s nothing sacrosanct about Santa when it comes to dressing up like the jolly old elf in Japan!
Even the most stalwart child might hesitate before climbing into the lap of a Holy Basic Santa who looks like he might demand a confession before hearing about that pony on your list.
And after two-plus years of closed borders, well-fed foreigners willing to pose as Father Christmas have become thin on the ground. All the Santa models this year are flaunting black hair and a notable lack of heft. This Santa coat looks like it just stepped away from the runway, not a groaning board laden with the Pizza of Christmas or the ultra-traditional KFC fried chicken with seaweed.
And while only 18% of Japanese companies allowed their employees to work from home throughout the pandemic, it’s pretty clear Santa must have been one of them. Sorry, guys! These Santa overalls are just going to have to say “St. Nick” to those of you craving a sighting of the bringer of gifts.
As for those whose company end-of-year parties still happened virtually, this “Santa Shirt” is the perfect costume solution. Nobody raising a glass on the other end of that zoom call needs to know that pants are entirely optional.
Naturally, Sexy Santa has come roaring back as holiday parties resumed, with the once-a-year chance to impress that cute guy from Accounting. But this time, the office ladies are projecting a saucier image. “You’re not really asking me to fetch you tea in these fur mitts, are you?”
And finally, for the quiet quitters (you know who you are)—just make the kid be his own Santa this year.
(And psst, if someone unexpectedly gave you a gift and you were caught empty-handed, get out of that sticky situation by sending them a book!)
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Jonelle Patrick writes novels set in Japan, produces the monthly e-magazine Japanagram, and blogs at Only In Japan and The Tokyo Guide I Wish I’d Had
3 thoughts on “Santa Blasphemy returns”
Holy? Really? I mean, what’s holy about the jolly elf? And Black?????? What fiendish imagination comes up with these things?
Golly! Maybe I’ve been gone long enough to have overcome my immunity to Japan’s blatant misinterpretation of…well…so many things. There was a time when I wouldn’t have batted an eye.
I know, right? After almost three years of exile, I was definitely looking at everything with eyes that were no longer accustomed to the general level of WAT?
I think it’s the western mindset viewed from their eastern cultural understanding. Much like our western mindset trying to interpret eastern cultural events thru our lens and lack of knowledge of the long history and original intent.