Author Archives: Jonelle Patrick

VendEarPerson April 17

Sorry, I Can’t Hear You, There’s A Person In My Ear.

Which is weirder – that someone designed earplugs that make it look like a little person is making herself at home in your ears (EWWWW!) or that you can buy them from a vending machine? Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix.

Here are a few of the photos I put up on my FB author page this spring... April 16

One Japan Photo, Every Day

As you may have noticed, I have about eight kerbillion photos of Japan, from Colonel Sanders in a samurai suit to Tokyo Tower in the rain. So, even if I wrote one blog post a day for the next few thousand millennia, I still couldn’t show you them all. That’s why I try to burn through them by putting […]

KameNoKoBrushes April 15

The Scrub Brush Shrine

So, I’m trudging back to the bus stop after catching Sankei-en having the Japanese garden equivalent of a bad hair day,* when I spot this odd little shrine tucked between two houses. The altar is a big pitted rock, and it’s covered with…scrub brushes? What is this, the patron kami-sama of cleaning supplies? Wrong-o! This shrine is the cure […]

DogBuggy April 14

Urban Assault Stroller…For Dogs

The next time you need to sneak your dog out for a stroll without the enemy suspecting, bundle it into this craftily camouflaged dog buggy and infiltrate the local park. Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix.

LolitaBoth12 April 12

How To Be A Lolita For A Day!

Admit it – don’t you want to try it, just once? Well guess what? Now you can get your Lolita on for around a hundred bucks, with professional hair, makeup, and photos! And that’s just what my friend Yuki and I did a few weeks ago! The stylistas at Maison de Julietta in the Harajuku Laforet let us choose from their closet […]

SaggyBoobSox April 10

I Think They’re Supposed To Be Arms, But…

…even the pro wrestler sox seem to be outfitted with a pair of Gravity Is Not Our Friend boobs. Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix.

CherryGridRotate April 08

Cherry Blossom Roundup

  Okay, the season of all-sakura-all-the-time is officially over, and the cherryliciousness did not disappoint. From late-blooming white ones to pinker-than-pink, here are a few of this year’s faves. Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix.

AltFujiterebiSM April 07

Alt Cherry

So, during cherry blossom season, people naturally flock to places with maximum pink fluffiness. But if you don’t have any real blooming cherry trees of epic proportions, how do you avoid being the location equivalent of Forever Alone? Behold the ingenuity of even the stodgiest of institutions… And people ask me why I love Japan. Go […]

DragonbloodToothpaste April 06

Salty Dragonblood Toothpaste

But what I want to know is, how do they KNOW the dragons only ate pesticide-free virgins? Is the blood harvested from organically-certified, knight-armor-free, farm-grown dragons? Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix. You can get your very own Toothpaste Of Targaryens at your nearest Tokyu Hands.

SakuraWhisky April 05

So, What DO Cherry Blossoms Taste Like?

Around cherry blossom season in Japan, the shelves suddenly fill with “sakura”-flavored food. But what does cherry blossom-flavored food actually taste like? I investigate. Cherry blossoms taste like…mini-shrimp potato chips. Cherry blossoms taste like…plum-flavored whisky & soda. Cherry blossoms taste like…pinkish berry combo gel and vanilla ice cream. Cherry blossoms taste like…potato chips sprinkled with actual ground up […]

Nice of those people to stand in line for hours and pay a ton of money so we could take pictures of them on the moat. April 04

Cherry Blossoms Lit Up At Night: My Favorite Spots!

  Oh no, don’t think you can put your feet up and flip some channels after the sun goes down during cherry blossom season – thanks to the current craze for “illuminations,” the ogling opportunities will seriously cut into your TV time. Here are my favorite nighttime viewing spots. Get thee to the nearest grove and give your camera […]

SakuraIceCream April 03

Cherry Blossom Flavored Ice Cream

Naturally, it being the Pink Season, all things must be as one with the almighty sakura. Including…ice cream. And what does this marvel of food engineering taste like? Hmm, good question.  Fortunately, they did not try to reproduce the taste of traditional Japanese sakura sweets, which are sweet rice cakes jarringly wrapped in salty pickled cherry leaves. Usually I’m […]

CherryBlossoms April 02

Hanami Blitz: My Picks For The Best Cherry Blossoms In Tokyo!

Okay, hanami warriors, it’s time to charge up your camera batteries, sharpen your elbows, and strap on your subway card, because the cherry blossoms only last a couple of days, and you’ve got serious ground to cover if you’re going to take in all my favorite viewing spots! In the past three days, I’ve been charging […]

SneakersBrocade March 31

Sneakers Of Yore

If I were a samurai in the olden days, these would totally be my sneakers of choice for the cherry blossom viewing marathon. I’d stock up on those shoelaces hanging up above too. Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix.

CherryRikugien March 29

The Godzilla Of Cherry Trees

Don’t let this big daddy sneak up on you in the dark! In Japan they don’t mess around when it comes to cherry trees. I saw this explosion of goodness last night at Rikugi-en garden in Tokyo, where they light up the all-powerful sakura until 9:00 every night during The Season. But this one isn’t the only monster […]

Bad hair day on the biggest cherry blossom party of the year? Put this sakura-themed bag over your head and untag yourself for the day! March 27

Cherry Blossom Party Costumes I Would Regret

The cherry trees are readying their onslaught, and it’s almost time for the annual beer-fuelled frolicking to commence. What better way to say, “I am a wild and crazy guy” than to don one of these festive pinker-than-thou costumes? Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix.

What could possibly go wrong? March 24

Lost

Went to robot restaurant. Missed last train. Left camera in cab. Noooo! Although I would rather drink poisonous dried snake tea, have my feet eaten by small brown fish, or plaster my face in bee larvae than call anyone on the phone in any language, I recite my Butch Up Little Missy mantra three times, then […]

RobotFEATURED March 22

The Robot Restaurant

Fembots, scantily-clad taiko drummers, battling transformers…okay, I admit the Robot Restaurant is more like Vegas on steroids than ye olde Nippon, but you’ve really gotta see this extravaganza once in your life! Even the waiting lounge is entertaining – every nook and cranny is paved with flashing lights, shiny baubles, and wall-to-wall video screens showing […]

"Ewww" is the same in any language. March 22

The Overly Realistic Caterpillar Vending Machine

I thought I’d found the oddest product you could buy from a vending machine when I spied the one selling rubber sea slugs, but I think I’m going to have to give the grand prize to the one that dispenses anatomically correct plastic caterpillars instead. These are so detailed, any one of the six horrid […]

NightBabaStation March 20

Neon Wonderland

Tokyo isn’t a beautiful city, except when it rains at night. Then the neon flows into the streets, brighter than liquid gold.   More pictures of Tokyo at night, in the rain: Tokyo Tower On A Rainy Night, Tokyo Streets, Shining In The Rain More pictures of Tokyo at night: Kabuki-cho, Odaiba Jonelle Patrick is the author […]

LegoPopsicles March 19

Lego. Minifig. Popsicles.

Need I say more? Okay, actually, I also want the minifig & eight-brick ice cube trays. And the salt and pepper shakers. Thank you, Santa. In advance. Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix. I saw all of these at the Venus Fort Lego store (2nd floor) in […]

ScaryContacts March 19

Scary Eyes Made Easy

If you don’t think it’s quite out there enough to have eyes that make you look like a living doll, say hello to this line of definitely unnatural contacts! How about a nice alien look, with Solid White? Or perhaps a touch of psychopath, with Spiral or Manson Red? Jonelle Patrick is the author of […]

281SantaAbe March 16

Changing The World, One Tag At A Time

I started taking pictures of work by the street artist known as 281_Antinuke a couple of years ago because I thought it was beautiful. Now I shoot it because I think it’s the voice of young Japanese saying to their society: we don’t want prosperity at the price of environmental destruction. While the government tries […]

LogCollege March 15

Yes, I Am A Proud Alumnus Of…

What do you think the hockey team from Log College is called? The Fighting Twigs? Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix.

SashimiStuffie March 14

Cuddle Up With An Adorable Slice Of Raw Fish

Okay, I thought the stuffed animal wizards were pretty much scraping the bottom of the vertebrate barrel when they came up with Kapybara-san a few years ago. I mean, how many of your childhood friends were really dying to invite the world’s largest rodent into bed with them? I rest my case. And I thought […]

SGplumBridge March 13

Early Spring At A Beautiful Garden

Today it was raining. But I went to Shinjuku Gyouen garden anyway.   Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix.

GolfSurf March 12

The Surfing Golfer

Surfing and golfing, yep, those go together like coffee and bananas. Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix.

The burn is controlled by guys tossing countless buckets of water on the outer boughs. March 10

Firewalking 101

I’m not sure who first thought that walking across burning coals would be an awesome superpower to have, but sometime in the distant past, that’s exactly what a bunch of more-rugged-then-thou Japanese warrior priests learned to do. Firewalking is still done once a year at the foot of Mt. Takao by practitioners of shugendo, a […]

If I were one of the gods at the Kanda Myojin shrine, I'd give these mortals whatever they asked for! March 09

The Anime Shrine

If you live, breathe, and want to work in anime, the Kanda Myōjin shrine is the place to pray that your dreams come true. But you’d better bring your markers and all your drawing chops, because competition for the gods’ attention is fierce. At most shrines, prayers are just scribbled on the backs of wooden […]

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 118 other followers