Tweets From The Pillow Book

The author of The Pillow Book mastered the trending hashtag and the snarky tweet ten centuries before anyone had ever heard of Twitter…

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@seishonagon One has gone to bed and is about to doze off when a mosquito appears, announcing himself in a reedy voice #hatefulthings

@seishonagon One has been foolish enough to invite a man to spend the night in an unsuitable place – and then he starts snoring #hatefulthings

@seishonagon One is telling a story when someone breaks in with a detail he happens to know, implying that one’s own version is inaccurate #hatefulthings

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@seishonagon When the ornamental comb one has ordered turns out to be pretty #pleasingthings

@seishonagon I look for an object that I need at once, and I find it #pleasingthings

@seishonagon Finding a large number of tales that one has not read before #pleasingthings

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@seishonagon A man recites his own poems (not especially good ones) and tells one about the praise they have received #embarrassingthings

@seishonagon Lying awake at night, one says something to one’s companion, who simply goes on sleeping #embarrassingthings

@seishonagon To have spoken about someone not knowing that he could overhear #embarrassingthings

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@seishonagon A very cold winter scene #thingsthatgainbybeingpainted 

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@seishonagon Cherry blossoms #thingsthatlosebybeingpainted

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@seishonagon The inside of a cat’s ear #squalidthings

@seishonagon The back of a piece of embroidery #squalidthings

@seishonagon Darkness in a place that does not give the impression of being very clean #squalidthings

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@seishonagon A large tree that has blown down in a gale, and lies on its side with its roots in the air #thingsthathavelosttheirpower

@seishonagon A man of no importance reprimanding an attendant #thingsthathavelosttheirpower

@seishonagon The retreating figure of a sumo wrestler who has been defeated in a match #thingsthathavelosttheirpower

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@seishonagon The last day of the Twelfth Month and the first of the First #thingsthataredistantthoughnear

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@seishonagon Priests. Fruit. Houses. Inksticks for inkstones #thingsthatshouldbelarge

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These are all quotes from the Ivan Morris translation of The Pillow Book of Sei Shonagon, written by a woman who lived a thousand years ago.

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—James Ziskin, Anthony, Barry, and Macavity Award-winning author of the Ellie Stone mysteries

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Jonelle Patrick writes novels set in Japan, produces the monthly e-magazine Japanagram, and blogs at Only In Japan and The Tokyo Guide I Wish I’d Had