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Kanji Drill Toilet Paper: For All Your Quarantine & Japanese Study Needs

Professor Poop kanji study toilet paper package

Take care of two pressing needs at once with the ideal Japanese product for these troubled times: Professor Poop kanji-studying toilet paper!

Schools are closed, but that doesn’t mean kids have an excuse to slack off – anyone who stops relentlessly memorizing those complicated kanji characters every week won’t be able to read the daily news by sixth grade,* so…

Close-up of Professor Poop toilet paper package
“Even in the toilet, students can study!”

No more excuses not to get, er, cracking!

Close-up of Professor Poop toilet paper package
Each square is printed with a Japanese kanji character, along with example sentences demonstrating correct usage. (Uh, the kanji, not the toilet paper!) Sadly, there are only 3-4 different characters per roll, so let’s hope the quarantine doesn’t go on too long.

Naturally, the instructive sentences are all hilariously poop-centric, so even the maker anticipated the small problem of kids going back to school and using them as examples in the weekly kanji test.

Close-up of Professor Poop toilet paper package, with disclaimers

One disclaimer couldn’t quite cover all the bases, so…

1: Because this is just for fun…don’t actually do the stuff described in the examples!

2: The funny examples will help you write sentences using the words in this Poop Kanji Drill!

3: Don’t talk about disgusting things like this around other people! These kind of examples should stay in the bathroom!

And last, but certainly not least (to settle one of the greatest sources of domestic discord once and for all), for all of you who ERRONEOUSLY think that toilet paper should unroll from under, not over, this:

Close-up of Professor Poop toilet paper package showing the right way to change toilet paper roll
I REST MY CASE

*That’s right – you need to know about 2,000 of the complex Japanese characters that each stand for a word if you want to be able to read Japanese at a basic level. Starting in first grade, Japanese kids have to memorize how to read and write ten characters a week (like Friday spelling tests in the West) so it takes them until sixth grade to know enough to read the daily news with fluency.

I found this delightful product at Shimojima (Tokyo’s best-kept shopping secret), but I regret to say it was before toilet paper became such a precious commodity, so they might not have any left in these commode-fearing times

If you know someone who might enjoy this, share it! Here’s the link: https://bit.ly/2V9bvaV

And if you’d like some fresh Japan goodness like this popping up in your in-box from time to time, it’s easy to subscribe to Only In Japan!

Scroll wildly past the comments and ignore with abandon all the photos for my books and other blog, then enter your email and click on the “I want more Japan” button. Done! Sit back and wait for your first Japan-flavored surprise to arrive amid the usual news & spam・° ♪・☆

Jonelle Patrick writes novels set in Japan, produces the monthly newsletter Japanagram, and blogs at Only In Japan and The Tokyo Guide I Wish I’d Had 

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Jonelle Patrick View All

Writing mystery books set in Tokyo is mostly what I do, but I also blog about the odd stuff I see every day in Japan. I'm a graduate of Stanford University and the Sendagaya Japanese Institute in Tokyo, and a member of the International Thriller Writers, the Mystery Writers of America, and Sisters In Crime. When I'm not in Tokyo, I live in San Francisco. I also host a travel site called The Tokyo Guide I Wish I'd Had, so if you're headed to Japan and want to check out the places I take my friends when they're in town, take a look!

8 thoughts on “Kanji Drill Toilet Paper: For All Your Quarantine & Japanese Study Needs Leave a comment

    • We ALL need it! (Some, who live in hoarding societies, more than others lol) How are you doing? Thanks for keeping the little fun bits coming via your blog – it cheers me up every time I get a notification (even though WordPress seems to be thwarting me from liking or commenting most of the time grr WHY). And thanks for the reblog – quite honored that Professor Poop made the cut! Be safe and healthy, my friend.

      • I have a dog ( a blessing every day) and a really small garden ( in Paris it’s also a blessing) 3rd week of confinement but only my 5th day of holiday so I’m ok 🙂. People are starting to go out again here I really don’t understand why they feel so safe because we’re still having lots of deaths! I was planning to go to Japan in October too 😢. We may still be confined in June.. anyway none of my friends are sick and I have lots of books and things to do so be careful in Japan! And keep commenting if you can I’m still struggling to go back to my 300 followers with this nez blog ( it’s not much for some but it was for me 🤣🤣🤣) 😷. We couldn’t reblog for some time otherwise I would have reblogged more of your posts 😁. Take care

      • Waah, I’m so envious that you have a dog to keep you company (and an excuse to do the perfect social-distanced walk every day)! And HA, of course Parisians can’t resist the first signs of spring. That would be impossible! But when (not if!) we are able to travel again, let’s make a pact to meet up in Japan. I hope this will all be a distant memory by October, and I hope you can still come. Meanwhile, count me in when it comes to battling the forces that keep your posts from reaching the world – I missed you when you were gone for a bit, and we can’t let them win!

  1. my friend, you are so incredibly brilliant! And I meant to let you know that your mask post was so great. How do you look stunningly beautiful in a mask?? Only you can do it with your gorgeous blue eyes!

    Keep up the amazing work! I only wish we were back to when you visited and we made lovely meals with conversation inducing wine!!

    Miss you tons!

    xoxo

    On Tue, Apr 7, 2020 at 4:30 PM Jonelle Patrick’s Only In Japan wrote:

    > Jonelle Patrick posted: ” Take care of two pressing needs at once with the > ideal Japanese product for these troubled times: Professor Poop > kanji-studying toilet paper! Schools are closed, but that doesn’t mean kids > have an excuse to slack off – anyone who stops relentlessl” >

    • Waah, you’re the sweetest! I wish we were back at your kitchen table sharing a glass of wine and solving the problems of the world too, one mask at a time. (And I hope you were serious about admiring that particular one – due to its special magical beautifying properties – because you’re getting one. Dropped it off at the post office today. We’re gonna be twinsies, whether you like it or not! lol)

  2. Meeting in Japan would be great 👍🏻 I fear ( and I say « fear » because I know that things that interest me are thought to be « peculiar » by some) we have the same interest for quirky, weird and funny items and places . Marion ( and Cookie 🐕)

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