Things I Never Envisioned Myself Owning

#japangoals #shutup

Yes, it’s exactly what it looks like. A fuzzy green polka-dot toilet seat cover.

Because Japan delivers a whole new level of hurt to the concept of freezing your butt off: the fact that I actually went out and bought this is a testament to the truth that no toilet seat is as cold as a toilet seat that must be faced at midnight in February, in a land where even a goodly number of godforsaken public toilets have cozy heated seats, and everyone living nearby (EVERYONE I TELL YOU EVERYONE BUT MEEEE) has one too.

The Last Tea Bowl Thief was chosen as an Editor’s Pick for
Best Mystery, Thriller & Suspense on Amazon

For three hundred years, a missing tea bowl passes from one fortune-seeker to the next, changing the lives of all who possess it…read more

“A fascinating mix of history and mystery.” —Booklist

Jonelle Patrick writes novels set in Japan, produces the monthly e-magazine Japanagram, and blogs at Only In Japan and The Tokyo Guide I Wish I’d Had

Published by Jonelle Patrick

Writes all the Japan things.

5 thoughts on “Things I Never Envisioned Myself Owning

  1. Remembering that our “mansion” had a separate “closet” for the toilet, and on cold nights the toilet water would freeze in the bowl. Imagine the temp of the seat above the iceberg!
    I will comment, Jonelle, that the polka dots follow contemporary fashion, but then you knew that!! ⛄️❄️⛄️

    1. Aieeee, I knew that if I scratched the surface, far more terrible cold toilet stories would emerge! I now find myself imagining what might happen to one’s tender nether parts when they touched that ice-cold seat (conjuring tongue-to-railing photos NO NO DON’T GO THERE). You do remind me that I’m not actually the only one in all of Japan without a heated toilet seat, because otherwise why would there be such a vast selection of toilet seat covers to choose from at the local Seiyu? All of them, I’ll note, with even more uncool designs. Honestly, it’s a race to the bottom LITERALLY AHAHAHAHA in the toilet cover design department.

  2. Don’t despair, my friend. We don’t have a heated seat either. But we managed to find plain tan seat covers at the Seiyu in Sancha. On the other hand, we are in the process of moving and the new place has washlets…two!

    1. Yow, the luxury will be almost unbearable! Honestly, the first time I stayed somewhere with heated seats, it was the nicest surprise in the middle of the night. And, conversely, the worst wake-up call when stumbling to the loo, every time I arrive in Tokyo (><;;)

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