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Out, Troll, Out! Setsubun For The Modern Age

OniFour

While everyone was congratulating themselves on demon possession being at an all time low…damn! The pesky oni sneaked out and rebranded themselves!

But that doesn’t mean we have to just lie back and let ourselves get trolled! Setsubun is the perfect holiday for showing those rickrollers the door. Here’s how:

Chances are, you have a troll living in your very own household. 364 days a year this would not be considered a lucky thing, but on February 3rd, if you have your very own troll, nobody has to pretend to be one in order to be pelted with beans and chased from the neighborhood.

Trolling being a global phenomenon, I think it’s safe to say that the type of beans used for driving out said troll may vary according to locale. In Japan, of course, it’s customary to use roasted soybeans. But in Seattle, for example (a place with an especially high infestation of trolls), coffee beans may be substituted. In fact, I’d go so far as to suggest that dousing a known troll in one’s Splenda, no-foam, nonfat latte would result in a righteous exorcism, on account of the coffee part having been in bean form until fairly recently.

Of course, if all else fails, you can resort to Demon Drink.

OniSake
This single serving size of saké will at least make being trolled less annoying.

For those who prefer to employ the traditional sardine head and sushi roll method, consult my previous Setsubun blog entry for step-by-step  instructions!

Read a novel set in Tokyo

A young woman dressed as a Gothic Lolita is found dead in a car with a pair of strangers. But the more Yumi Hata learns about her friend’s death, the more she’s convinced it was murder…read more

Jonelle Patrick View All

Writing mystery books set in Tokyo is mostly what I do, but I also blog about the odd stuff I see every day in Japan. I'm a graduate of Stanford University and the Sendagaya Japanese Institute in Tokyo, and a member of the International Thriller Writers, the Mystery Writers of America, and Sisters In Crime. When I'm not in Tokyo, I live in San Francisco. I also host a travel site called The Tokyo Guide I Wish I'd Had, so if you're headed to Japan and want to check out the places I take my friends when they're in town, take a look!

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