Last week I jumped at the chance to visit a place that makes fake food models for Japanese restaurants and learn the secrets of making tempura and lettuce!
Making fake lettuce is so much easier than making real lettuce. No need to acquire the superpower to create life, no need to construct a carefully balanced ecosystem to grow it in. All you need is hot water, some time-honored techniques, and a few pots of food-model batter.
To make your own lettuce, you use the green and white mixes.
First float a strip of white on top of the water bath, then ladle on a swath of green. Grab the front edge, and carefully begin to submerge it.
As you pull the sheet under, crinkle it between your thumbs and forefingers. When it’s all lettuce-y, begin crumpling it up from the white end.
When you’ve got it patted into a nice ball, cut it open and see if you’re qualified to move on to tempura!
Making tempura requires a different technique. Start with a paper cup of yellow fake food mix and a couple of basic food cores. Dribble the yellow mix into the hot water from about two feet up, making a wiggly puddle about the right size to wrap your piece of “food” in.
When it’s spread out nicely to the right size, swoosh it into the water with the “food” you’re wrapping and pinch it into shape.
No 5-hour kitchen clean-up! No Measle Effect burns on your forearms! No ungrateful recipients comparing it unfavorably to the ebi ten shop down the block!