Tag Archives: Tokyu Hands

EyedropHelper July 31

Mother’s Little Eyedrop Helper

Ewww! Eyedrops! Get those things away from me no no no no no no you’re not putting something in my eye blink blink blink blink! Okay, I admit it, I’m a princessey fairy wussy when it comes to eyedrops. Which is why I thought SQUICK SQUICK SQUICK when I first saw this product at Tokyu […]

EarFloss July 06

Ear Floss

In the Solution Looking For A Problem sweepstakes, this has gotta be a contender. Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix. If you’re in desperate need of something to roto-rooter your piercings, you can stock on up ear floss at (where else?) Tokyu Hands.

UnbrellaSign June 11

Monsoon Season, Lock ‘n Load

It’s tsuyu season in Japan right now, which pretty much means all rain, all the time. (Not to be confused with typhoon season, which is all rain, RIGHT NOW.) Both seasons require industrial strength anti-wetness gear, and what could be more dedicated to staying dry through relentless rain (and the diabolical wind it rode in on) than […]

DragonbloodToothpaste April 06

Salty Dragonblood Toothpaste

But what I want to know is, how do they KNOW the dragons only ate pesticide-free virgins? Is the blood harvested from organically-certified, knight-armor-free, farm-grown dragons? Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix. You can get your very own Toothpaste Of Targaryens at your nearest Tokyu Hands.

ThugActionFigure January 08

Street Fightin’ Yakuza Action Figures

More than meets the eye! For hours of happy crime spree play, nothing can beat the thug rangers! Your platinum-haired chinpira will pinch Barbie’s car before she can squeal “math is hard,” the mirror-shaded loan shark can hit Ken up anytime, anywhere, for that gambling debt plus interest, and even GI Joe had better watch out […]

SantaStylish December 15

More Acts Of Santa Blasphemy

Yes, when it comes to taking license with the jolly old elf, nobody can beat Tokyu Hands! Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix.

HotSnood November 26

Hot Snood

Get yer red hot snoods right here at Tokyu Hands! I always thought a snood was a sort of hairnet thingie, but apparently here in Japan, it’s an electric fake fur stole. And handily, it comes in fake brown or fake white, for all your outfit-matching needs. Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In […]

ChipGrabber September 17

Remote Potato Chip Snagger

This precision eating aid claims to save users from greasy paws, but I’m convinced it could revolutionize the diet industry. We’ll call it: The Potato Chip Diet! Just TRY to beat your couch potato compadres to the snackies at your next man-cave TV sports-fest  – by the time they’ve two-fisted most of the bag, you’ll still be […]

BubbleBath April 16

Mankiller Bubble Bath

Forget having a Miracle Body. All I gotta do to snag me a man is hop into one of these kickass bubble baths from Tokyu Hands. Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix. If you’d like to visit the Tokyu Hands in Shibuya the next time you’re in Tokyo, directions are on my […]

MisoMuddler April 03

The Miso Muddler And Other Obscure Kitchen Tools

I laughed when I saw that there was a special tool you could plunge into a tub of miso, twirl it around to get exactly one bowl’s worth of fermented soybean paste into the little ball, then use the muddler to whisk it into your soup. And then, of course, I bought one. Because actually, if […]

Special Golden Santa. Wonder if you can get a fake daimond-studded grill to go with it... December 17

Various Acts Of Santa Blasphemy

Don’t get me wrong – I’m all for creativity and such, but some things are just W.R.O.N.G.! These line-crossers join the other less-than-trad incarnations in my Japanese Santa Hall Of Fame:  Thong Santa, Scary Santa, Emo Santa, and my perennial favorite, Colonel Santa. Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by […]

ScarySanta December 03

Scary Santa

You know how some kids are afraid to go sit on Santa’s lap, even if they really really really want a pony? Well, I bet all the Santa phobias in the known world can be traced back to an early childhood experience with someone like THIS. What was the package designer thinking, casting a mass […]

ScaryMask November 14

Nightmare Or Skin Treatment? You Decide!

Wow, which one do I dread trying the most? It’s so hard to choose! As much as having my face covered in the kind of pond scum I remember eww-ing over in 10th grade Biology, lying there with snail slime perilously close to my nose and mouth might be worse. Both, however, are certainly trumped […]

Beer mask September 04

Costumes I Would Regret, Part Deux

Nothing says Career Killer like a shot of your grinning face leering at the camera from inside a beer mask, two-fisting some brewskies! Tokyu Hands once again comes through with a costume that makes you think, “Snap! I don’t even have to dress up!” but ends up producing dozens of eminently uploadable candids for everyone’s internet-viewing […]

ChantingMonk August 11

Your Very Own Electronic Monk!

Tired of petitioning the Powers That Be every day for world peace, a winning lottery ticket, and for them to still have your size when those purple Fluevog boots you desperately want go on sale? Rest easy! Now you can let the Electronic Monk do your chanting for you! You’re just a couple of AA […]

HeadHammer July 07

Because It Feels So Good When You Stop?

At first glance, it’s hard to imagine that bonking yourself on the head would make you feel better. I found “Mr. Energetic,” the quaint wooden hammer, in the self-massage section at Tokyu Hands, looking rather low-tech compared to the other dedicated work-the-kinks-out tools. It claims to be useful “whenever and wherever you want” – perhaps […]

EyeMassage June 24

Eyeball Massage

The do-it-yourself massage section at Tokyu Hands is just bursting with frightening inventions dedicated to helping you reach the kinks in every part of your body, but I had to look twice at this one to find out just how one was supposed to massage one’s eyeballs. Apparently it works by stimulating the acupressure points […]

PieFace June 14

Nothing Says It Quite Like a Pie in the Face

You know that guy who always leaves a quarter cup of coffee in the pot so someone else has to scrub out the burned-on sludge and start a new one? Well, the next time you’re at an after-hours drinking party, surprise him with this classic party prank from Tokyu Hands! Specially designed with revenge-that-can-be-passed-off-as-fun in […]

PiggyMuffins June 01

Piggy Muffins

You’ll burn off at least 8 calories hiking up the Svelteness Stairs at Tokyu Hands to get your paws on this pan that turns out muffins that look like little pig faces! I’m especially fond of the rather intellectual-looking piglet in the bottom left corner, but all of them would make me think twice about eating […]

IMG_1028 May 12

Stairway to Svelteness Heaven

Forget that zumba class – I’m going shopping instead! Every step on the way to the floor where they sell the Infrared Pants Of Titanium at Tokyu Hands now informs me just how many calories I burned by virtuously bypassing the elevator. Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo Mystery Series, published by […]

If you prefer a disposable model, try these little dandies that look like nose bras but also claim to be invisible when worn. Six to a pack, for a week of allergy relief! March 30

Mask Inserted In Nose Of Not Seeing

How can you enjoy the mandatory public drinking parties of cherry blossom season when they take place amid clouds of misery-inducing pollen? Nose Mask Pit to the rescue! Forget what your mother told you never to do, and poke one of these ingenious little devices firmly up each nostril. They’re a lot more comfortable than […]

AllergyRobber March 22

Bank Robbers Need Allergy Relief Too

What are you going to do when those pesky cherry trees insist on blooming and you’ve got serious larceny to commit? This hay-fever-be-gone solution from (did you even have to ask?) Tokyu Hands neatly solves all your sneezing and identity-concealment problems with one stylish solution. Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo Mystery […]

IMG_0106 November 26

Microwave American Dog

Got a hankering for a corn dog, but walking further than the microwave seems like just too much trouble? Make your own with this handy “American Dog” kit from, yes, Tokyu Hands, purveyor of mysterious home improvement goods! Skewer up your weenie, mix up the batter, and pour it into the rocket-shaped mold. Minutes later […]

5.InuNabe November 08

Doggy Dinner

While many dog owners here do cook meals for their pooches – dogs here enjoy lives that would be envied by many children – this nabe pot just looks like a cheerful shiba-ken. It’s really for making hotpot stews and cook-at-the-table meals like sukiyaki and shabu-shabu. Nabe pots are made of special hardened clay so they can be […]

Bugs November 07

Giant Horrible Rubber Bugs

Okay, I know I’ve exhibited what might be interpreted as anti-insect bias on this blog before, but honestly, do you know anybody who would want a two-foot tall, anatomically correct, rubber cockroach staring at them while they watch TV? Apparently, the buyer at Tokyo Hands believes that not only are there people who would be […]

IMG_0130 November 03

Head Shrinking, Japanese Style

I saw this poster in the window of a esthé salon in Shin Okubo, advertising a facial treatment that supposedly delivers that holy grail of Japanese pulchritude, the “small face.” (How a massive foam cocoon is supposed to change the fundamental structure of your head is a mystery to me, but I guess hope springs […]

Potato chip maker October 28

Nuke Your Own Potato Chips!

If you’re anything like me, you weren’t aware of a burning desire on the part of the Japanese populace to buy a device that makes potato chips in a microwave. Fortunately, the Tokyu Hands store exists to show us just how clueless we are. This charming plastic rack allows you to make 40 potato (or […]

IMG_0115 October 26

Rockabilly Daruma

If you had a burning desire for Elvis to be alive and running a ramen shop near Yoyogi Park  – conveniently located, of course, for the leather-jacketed, ducktailed rockabilly dancers’ Sunday evening afterparty – this is exactly the sort of Daruma figure you might need. If your hearts’ desire is more pedestrian, you can still […]

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