Portaflush

Suddenly, you find yourself in a primitive public bathroom not equipped with a Sound Princess! What are you going to do to cover up unseemly noises, without wasting gallons and gallons of water?  Eco-oto to the rescue! Now you can make loud flushing sounds anytime, anywhere, from your very own mobile phone!

The first time I encountered a Sound Princess mounted on the wall of a Tokyo Denny’s, I pushed the button, thinking it was the actual flush thingy. The stall was filled with a magnificent cascade of whooshing and gurgling toilet sounds, but nothing actually happened. I eventually found the actual flush button (whew!) and it was explained to me later that the Sound Princess was invented because Japanese women were using millions of gallons of water just covering up embarrassing noises by flushing continuously while in the loo.

Of course, one hopes the Eco-oto doesn’t spontaneously trigger on a crowded subway train, or while shoveling in the lunch ramen…

I always though a toilet was one of those things I’d be pretty safe skipping the instructions for, but in Japan, they take toilet design seriously. This one even has a Sound Princess feature built right in!

Toilet Finder!

Help! You’re in the middle of a crowded Tokyo train station and are suddenly hit with a digestive emergency! @トイレ smartphone app to the rescue!

From the folks who brought you “Stoppa,” the stomach remedy especially designed for overdrinking and exam season, behold “@Toilet,” the app that not only directs you to the nearest facilities, it rates them too!

Press the “Emergency” button and a map studded with happy toilet icons showing the nearest commodes pops up on your screen, along with a GPS dot showing where you are so you can see how far you’re going to have to run.

If you’re can wait long enough to be more picky, the Toilet Ranking button awards gold, silver and bronze crowns to the top three nearby privies, then rates the rest right down to the ones that probably belong in the Hall of Shame.