You know you want these! You’ll merely have to hold up one hand to get out of dishwashing and other odious chores. In a boggling bow to sheer impracticality, the contestants in a recent Japanese nail/hair/makeup contest really took fingernails to a new level. Not only are they of ancient Chinese mandarin-like proportions, they must weigh a ton!

Bride of Scissorhands

Here’s where all the hedge clippings get put to good use

Expecting these to break out in song at any moment

From the February 2012 pages of NailMax, another outrageous Japanese fingernail magazine. While I was writing Nightshade, the first book in my mystery series, I had to do some serious thinking about out how to describe Princess Gals like Coco using their phones when they had such major nail art. Coco’s isn’t this extreme, but even regular talons require special work-arounds!