Kayak The Untamed Canals Of Tokyo!

Kayak

After you’ve climbed the north face of Everest, surfed the 50-footers at Mavericks, and helicopter boarded the Eyjafjallajokull volcano, what’s left for next year’s Golden Week?

Sadly, you discover that your idea of kayaking the Amazon from its headwaters in deepest darkest Brazil would require longer than five days. But then you see this subway poster at Akasaka-Mitsuke! What about a heart-stopping adventure right in your own back yard?

Of course, it’s rather unlikely you’ll spot any rare blue poison dart frogs while padding your way through Asakusa – even though this uncharted canal will take you through eyepoppingly grim parts of Tokyo that aren’t mapped in any guide book – but on the other hand, in the Amazon you can’t stop off at Skytree for some nice sushi and a beer at lunchtime.

Nyan-tastic Cat Wares!

NyanPot

Catnip tea? Yes, please!

I knew Kappabashi was the acme of destinations for obscure kitchenware and plastic food models, but it turns out they’ve got killer nyan-ware too! Next Christmas I bet Santa will fork over everything on my list when he sees that I left out nyancat cookies instead of boring old reindeer!

NyanCutters

Too hard to choose – better make them all!

NyanMold

Who could resist a potential gf/bf bearing these choco-nyans on Valentines Day?

If you’d like to visit Kappabashi Street the next time you’re in Tokyo, there are more pictures and directions on my website, The Tokyo Guide I Wish I’d Had.

Auto-Incinerate, For All Your Sacred Garbage Needs

ShrineMoeru

Now you no longer have to do the heavy lifting when it comes to heaving that sacred garbage into the shrine’s designated bin! Here at the Narita Fudo-san Shrine, this conveyor belt incinerator churns year-round, ready to bear away your tired old lucky charms and exhausted household gods to be cremated in the proper way. Just step up to the offering box, throw in a coin, and wave goodbye to last year’s tapped-out Safety In Traffic amulet as it’s automatically spirited away under the altar to the purifying flames beyond.

But clueless worshippers be forewarned: not only are you forbidden to send Daruma figures that didn’t deliver that 7th grade boyfriend,discarded My Little Ponies and grubby stuffies to their fiery doom, the sign to the left warns against launching anything made of veneer (toxic fumes may result), plastic (likewise), or non-burnable items like glass.

Wanted: Human Shield And Occasional Apologizer

HumanBarrierSee those guys in blue uniforms? Their job is to stand there like human bollards until the massive crush dies down, making sure the mob getting off the inhumanly packed morning train doesn’t block the people scampering to catch their ride going in the opposite direction, out to the burbs.

This is rush hour at Shibuya Station’s new Toyoko Line platform. On this particular day, the trains had been delayed by something at Jiyugaoka, so the blue suit guys were joined by a black suit guy, whose job was to loudly apologize to the arriving commuters for the train delay. It wasn’t enough of a glitch to warrant a Get Out Of Work Free Card, but it was enough that the commuters were all on the edge of surliness.

I was thinking this was probably not the kind of satisfying job experience that was highlighted in the “Your Bright Future With The Train Company!” recruiting brochures…

Hey Look, It’s L o’ Clock!

WatchLoClock

And how lovely it is, displayed on my vintage restored Seiko!

It’s L o’clock, and that means it’s time to check out an old art that’s alive and well in Tokyo: watchmaking!

Actually, although I’d like you to believe I discover these things on purpose, the battery in my watch died and I was desperate to get it fixed. I’d met Akiyama-san at a year-end drinkfest, and I asked him if he did mundane things like that. Of course, he said, bring it in! So I did. And I discovered a fascinating kind of shop that you don’t often see in America anymore. In Japan, despite the fact that it’s one of the wealthiest societies in the world, people still try to repair things before throwing them away. Even cheap watches get repaired instead of tossed. (If you’ve ever seen the garbage regulations, you’ll understand why!)

And lest you think this is a dying craft practiced by wizened Gepetto look-alikes, let me assure you that so many people repair their watches instead of buying new ones, even young and handsome guys believe there’s a future for them in watchmaking!

Akiyama-san, in his shop, not looking like a grizzled watchmaker of yore.

Akiyama-san, in his shop, not resembling a grizzled watchmaker of yore.

He fixed my battery in no time flat, then I stayed to watch as Akiyama-san practiced the arcane art of putting a vintage watch back together. Wearing a jeweler’s loupe, he wielded tiny specialized tools to position each piece on a special mount, then started it up and adjusted it with an electronic timer before settling the works back in its case.

WatchFix

If you don’t have patience and a steady hand, do not apply!

WatchParts

Before visiting Akiyama-san’s shop, I never thought about the beauty that resides inside the thing on my wrist.

WatchTools

Tools from a bygone era, still used every day.

But although Akiyama-san will repair any watch that walks through the door, his real passion is restoring vintage watches and selling them. Check out these beauties!

WatchVintageIf you’d like to visit Akiyama-san’s shop the next time you’re in Tokyo, get off the Keio Line train at Gotokuji Station, turn right at the ticket gate and walk down the street lined with shops. About a block away on your left, you’ll spot a sign out on the sidewalk that says “L o’Clock.” turn left into the passageway and it’ll be ahead on your right. Or visit his L o’ Clock website to see what gems he’s got in stock. Open noon – 8:00 p.m., closed Thursdays, map here.

A Day In The Life: What’s It Like To Be A Host?

HostWork1a

“My name is Sakura, and this is our newest host, Yua. If you join us tonight, you can see what a new host does!”

Fallen Angel readers are asking what it’s really like to go to a host club, so in addition to my usual daily Japan blurbs, I’ve been writing a series of blog posts on the Top Ten Host Club Questions. The final question is:

So what’s it like to be a host? A day in the life…

Join veteran host Sakura-san as he teaches his new recruit “Yua-kun” the ropes! First, a run-down of a typical day in Yua’s life:

11:00 a.m.: Wake up*

Noon: Go to the hair salon to get his tresses waxed, teased, arranged and sprayed.

1:00 p.m.: Go home and relax until it’s time to go to work

4:00 p.m.: Leave for work.

4:05 p.m.: Arrive at work. Do various chores before opening the club, then support Sakura-san entertaining clients until midnight.

12:00 a.m.: Every day is different, but even though 12:00 is “closing time,” the door may not swing shut behind the last customer until 1:00.

1:00 a.m.: Talk with co-workers at the after-hours staff meeting.

1:30 a.m.: Go out to eat and drink with co-workers

5:00 a.m.: Go home and sleep.

* You may have noticed that the a.m. and p.m. hours are switched on the Japanese schedule in the box above. That’s because hosts live a life that is 12 hours ahead of day workers, and they say, “Good morning!” to their co-workers at 7:00 p.m.rather than 7:00 a.m.

Okay, let’s see what happens during the hours Yua is at the club:

HostWork1b

Yua (to his mentor and other hosts): Good morning! (even though the sun already went down.)

Yua starts his workday doing the scut work: wiping down the tables until they gleam to the manager’s satisfaction, setting up the first customer’s glasses, ice bucket, tongs and ashtray, and doing even less glamorous things like cleaning the toilets. His mentor advises him that even though these jobs are not exciting, if he does a good job, he’ll prove himself to the manager as a hard worker and will graduate to being a top-earning entertainer faster.

HostWork2a

Our customer-angel admonishes Yua to listen to his mentor and follow his advice, so he can “level up” as soon as possible.

Okay, it’s almost time for the club to open! Before the first customer arrives, Yua must do a proper “aisatsu” to his mentor, bowing respectfully and asking Sakura-san to do him the great favor of teaching him  the proper way to become a good host. If Yua diligently does everything Sakura asks him to do and thanks him properly for teaching him (even when Sakura scolds him for making a mistake), Sakura will return the favor by introducing him to his customers and helping him build a customer base of his own. Today Sakura will teach Yua how to light a customer’s cigarette. Sakura shows Yua how to flick his lighter to life, cupping it in his hand near himself so as not to endanger the customer, then light the end of her smoke with a graceful gesture.

HostWork2b

Tonight’s additional lesson before the club opens: How to pour a drink. First, use the tongs to place ice in the glass deftly and silently, trying not to rattle the cubes or tongs against the side. Then rest a pinky finger on the table and  – using that hand for support – rest the bottle label-side up on the hand and tip liquor into the glass, pouring in the sho-chu without letting the bottle clink against the rim. Top the glass up with water, using the same pouring technique. Then use one hand to shield the customer from splashes and deftly stir the drink, without making any noise. Still shielding the customer, let the stirrer drip into the glass, then use it to make your own drink. Place the stirrer back on the napkin on the tray, then offer the customer’s drink to her respectfully with both hands. With your own drink, propose a toast, making sure that when you clink your glass with hers, you do it respectfully with both hands and take care to make sure it’s in the lower position.

Finally, opening time! Tonight Yua is lucky – he’s not being sent out to the nearby street to do “catching” duty, inviting girls into the club. Sakura introduces Yua to his first customer, and the new host practices what he just learned, taking care of the customer and his mentor with proper respect. He does his share of keeping a lively conversation humming along, then thanks Sakura’s customer for letting him intrude on their evening, proposes a toast to both of them, then gracefully exits to give them some time alone.

HostWork2d

The club is busy, and 1:00 comes all too soon. “Good work tonight! Job well done!”

We’re left with the  parting message that good-looking guys who think this might be the ideal job for them should know that the mentors at the sponsoring club (Top Dandy) will not only train them to become top-earning hosts in no time, the club also offers snazzy designer suits for rent until the nouveau host can afford his own, the job is flexible and hosts can get their pay at the end of every workday, they can make use of the hair-make stylist who comes to the club every day before it opens, the club will pay for singing and dancing lessons, the club will pay for all the hosts to go on vacation together (sometimes to foreign countries!), and if they make it into the top five earners, they’ll really level up to the big money, with bonuses on top of their salaries and a percentage of their dedicated customers’ bar tabs.

The TOP TEN QUESTIONS ABOUT HOST CLUBS series:

Why do women go to host clubs?

What kind of women go to host clubs?

What’s it like to visit a host club?

How expensive is it to go to a host club?

What is a host club “champagne call”?

Can foreigners get into a host club?

How can I go to a host club?

How do I find a good host club?

Photo essay courtesy of Men’s Yukai magazine.

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I first started researching the world of host clubs while I was writing Fallen Angel, the second book in my Japanese mystery series. If you want an insider’s look at host club life, you won’t get much closer than seeing it through the eyes of Hoshi and Shinya, the hosts who work at Club Nova. They may be guilty of stealing their customers’ hearts, but are they guilty of murder?…